Doesn't it seem cruel for God to give us sexual desire but marriage being the only way to fulfill it?

Question

I'm saying that in light of the fact that a lot of people don't have legitimate access to the institution of marriage. For example, you may be single but extremely undesirable because of appearance, prior relationships with which you've had children, finances, and other things. It's possible that you may desire to get married but cannot. However you have to abstain and constantly fight with your bodily urges. I have difficulty with this one, so any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.

Some of you took the question out of context. Please read the details. I'm not bashing marriage nor am I advocating pre-marital sex. Also, I'm not objectifying women as sex objects. The gist of the question is that there are so many variables that affect an individuals ability to find a partner willing to marry them. You may want to fulfill your sexual desires in the right way but for whatever reasons be it within your control or out of your control; you're unable to do it. That's frustrating and it seems harsh to me.

Answer 1

God does not give us any temptation we cannot handle **With His Help**. If you having problems, turn them over to Him. He might, if it's His will, provide you with a companion.
Pray. He will answer.

Answer 2

back when all this was written, the normal age of marriage for girls was about twelve. The sex drive came later and then only for their husband. Also women were not given much choice in whether or not they married, let alone who.
The sex drive is in place so that we WILL procreate.
As for marriage, look up what Yeshua (Jesus) said to the prostitute, (Mary Magdalene?) who was about to be stoned for adultery: "How many husbands have you?" "none, lord" "no, I say to you have had five(?)" and she knew it was true, because she had lain with five(?) men. sex was the only requisite for marriage. then he told her to rise go forth and sin no more.
To Yeshua, sex was the only requisite for marriage and therefore she had been married five times.
I am only guessing at the number, so don't let anyone get all technical on me. the fact is the basics are right.
If ther are reasons that you are "undesirable" remember that there is someone somewhere that will desire you and I don't recall masturbation to be a sin. So even if no one else does, you desire yourself.

Answer 3

Um. Marriage is not the only way to fulfill sexual desire.

And as for "legitimate access" to marriage and/or sex. I think people should just find their gifts and use them. That surely will make them loveable - and lead to sex - or not.

You say "I have difficulty with this one." Are YOU an unattractive person with prior relationships with children, poor finances and other things?

If so - my suggestion is for you to find your gifts - and become the beautiful person you are - and always have been.

Namaste!

Answer 4

Outside of Marriage, you are taking an aweful lot from someone just for lust. It is just best to put Love first.

I have never dated. I am considered very good-looking, and have no end of willing girls and women to keep me having to avoid females in general. I am in love with one person only, and see no way to be with her because of complex circumstances.

Why on earth would I seek sex apart from Marriage to her? What could I ever recieve from that except worse stress? It's inconcievable anyway. I am in my thirties, and am still mistaken by some teens for one their age, yet I have long felt the weight of my age. If nothing else, I must wait in Hope.

Do the same.

Sex is only for mixing all of your essence with that of another you were made for. Anything else would treat another like a tennis raquet for sport, or for a scratching post for pent-up frustration. Even a prostitute is worth more than that.

I am a virgin, and it is not sex that I aspire for, but one person in all my life. If it wasn't for knowing I was made for her, I could care less about ever remembering my sexuality.

Answer 5

You become what you fill your mind full of. Then when you start talking to your figurative heart you allow these urges to control you. It's sad that man makes everything sexual and refuses to look at the whys.
If you want to live on God's earth forever then its possible to train yourself in ways that are in harmony with God's requirements.
Our reproductive hormones are active in younger life and for that reason we need discipline. If you grow up like a weed you become a weed. God's ways are not hard to follow, its just a matter of trying.
Just look at all the unhappiness you see with open sex, and open marriages, not counting the diseases we catch.
Your way ends up with children giving birth to children and no instruction. So they end up killing each other because of their mental outlook. Their God has become the tube with all its uplifting programs..Trained by Hollywood.
It's not cruel for God to make us able to reproduce. It was the other guy Satan and all his friends that distorted sexual appetite see Genesis 6:1,2 ,Jude 6
The point is if you want life and happiness, then you need to listen to God's requirements. Its not hard to do once you get the right mental attitude. Ask questions. [e-mail]

Answer 6

That's strange where was I the day God said that, I never heard him. Having sexual erges is apart of nature it is who we are, it is how the human race continues to live. Don't get me wrong, I not saying go out and having crazy unprotected sex with everyone every witch way. But you can still be in a very special loving, and intimint relationship with someone, and not be married.

Answer 7

No one is uglier than me and I have never had difficulty getting a woman. Very easy if you try.
Prior relationships and children tells me you have a wife and kids. Why aren't you taking care of them. Why do you think you should have multiple opportunities to screw up a relationship?
Perhaps your sexual needs are out of line or addictive. If that's the case seek help.
My suggestion is you invest in a good study bible and try to learn something and stop obsessing.

Answer 8

So you think it is a good thing for a person that is undesirable (in their own mind or in the mind of others) to have sex with someone who doesn't value or respect them enough to consider marriage...sounds like a good way to increase your undesirability meter to me. So for the sake of physiological urges, a person should, through their own actions, tell the world (and themselves) that they are good enough for sex but not good enough for marriage? Sounds like self-fulfilling prophecy to me.

Sorry, not buying this argument. I can't speak for everyone of course, but I can't imagine wanting sex enough to share my body with someone that though I was ugly or someone that found me "unworthy" of marriage because of my child, my income, or anything else that isn't and shouldn't be important!

Answer 9

I know what you are saying but I guess if you want to follow God's rules you'll just need to abstain. People have desires for other things too like smoking, drugs, alcohol, porn, love of sturff all things that you shouldn't partake of to live a holy life.

Answer 10

Whether sex outside of marriage is right or wrong is one thing; but either way, if you aren't mature enough to control yourself and your bodily urges, you really have no business trying to "get jiggy" with people who do, and certainly not with people who aren't mature enough to control themselves.

Being an adult means more than having reached mere physiological maturity.

Again, this isn't supporting sex in or out of marriage--this should be the case for either.

Answer 11

And what, exactly, is wrong with picking JUST ONE person

Are you into POLYGAMY

Do you view WOMEN as just being OBJECTS to sastisfy your needs

Is that all women are. Pieces of meat to satisify your gratuitious nature.

Come on, Ladies, open opportunity here, unless all of you strap a bed to your backs!

Is that all a woman is, two breasts, an opening and a mouth.