advice plz...eating me up..family..serious answers only???

Question

when i was 14..now in my late 20's,i stole over £100 from my big sis..she found out and i blamed it on a friend,everything has been great except from my conscience,i have eaten myself up and tortured nyself everyday since...i have literally cried myself to sleep as i feel so bad,she still helps me out when times are hard and i accept her money,but i can't base my adult life on a mistake i made when i was 14..can i?...plz advice..i'm going to tell her..i'm so scared though..as she has been so generous to me..but i am truely sorry,i don't need to tell her..i am choosing to as i love and respect her and feel she has a right to know..i recently confessed to my mum and other sis who reassured me we all make mistakes when we are young,but i can't stop torturing myself,hence why i have to confess...i love her and don't want to lose her

the friend is cool...plz..i just want to know your opinion on what i did at 14 and if i'm truely sorry if it is acceptable to say sorry and if you think it will change outr friendship

everyone you really don't know how much you've made me feel better..thankyou..really thankyou..

Answer 1

Your doing the best thing for you and for your future..Past is past hun and as you already been told we all make mistakes but if you have a good bond with her and explain it to her and explain your reasons why you did it im sure she will understand...You are all adults now where as at the time you were still young but you have learnt by your ways and suffered enough for it now alredy and that is how i think you will find your sister will see it too....after all these years of it eating you up inside thats enough of a punishment for your error ...But i would agree with what someone else said though if your going to apologise to your sister then maybe to your friend also who got the blame for what you did at the time...be it years down the line at least then you will be totally free from all lies n hidden secrets of the past on this issue....Good luck hun wish you all the best and im sure it will all work out in the end....Families need to stick together best to be honest you be loved n cherished more for it
xxx

Answer 2

Hi cozycat,

1. You were 14. (I am sure) that age is immune for that crime.
2. You have punished yourself 6 long years of regret (from age 14 to 20).
3. If your sister is as good as you have mentioned above. I am sure, your elder sister will understand you. Explain her everything. No need to worry!
4. Buy some sweets/roses or gifts. And explain to her everything. As I understand, tears are no problem for you, use them during your explanation.
5. Well... now the question is: Why now? Why you decided to tell her this year? Any special meaning?
6. And do not forget to return back her money with interests.
7. You have to say something to that friend too.Do not forget - A good explanation and a warm talking will win back you your lost happiness. You can add little drama, do something good to your friend too. May be some ice creams/beers will do good. Experiment.

Well...
:)

I am really impressed by you. So will your sister and your friend.

Have a nice life without crimes!

Bye!
:)

PS: You had enough punishment for your crime! So, be bold and face the consequences!

Answer 3

I did something like that when I was young. I stole two teeny fruits, cumquats i think, from our local Safeway. Mom and dad were out of town, and my aunt was watching us. Sounds like no big deal, I agree. But I felt HORRIBLE! For almost three months afterward, I felt rotten and could only think about what I had done. Finally I scrounged up nearly two times the money (they were about 25 cents each or something, and I think I gave a little more than a dollar) and went in and paid for the two little fruits. The manager actually seemed surprised that I actually came in and paid for something so small. But I felt so much better afterwards, it was seriously like the weight of the world was taken from my little shoulders. I don't think she will be too upset with you. She may even be surprised that you would come and talk to her about something she has probably forgotten about. I say go for it. Trust me, you will feel so much better, though it is incredibly hard to do. Go For It! Hope I helped in some small way.

Answer 4

Hey hun.
Definately tell her because she has most probably forgotton about it now anyway and will probably laugh about it now. It's what adults do.
I too have a conscience that doesnt let me forget until i sort it out so believe me, i know that it sucks!
But seriously, the sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can forget and you wont need to worry anymore. Even your own mum who you would expect to get angrier than your sister even said that you made a mistake and not to worry.
I hope this helps.
= ]
Good luck! xx

Answer 5

Tell her......... she loves you and will obviously be shocked but
it will finally be out in the open. As you have other family members you have told they will be there to support you. Do it now as it will be impossible to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. And once you have done it it will be like a weight
lifting from you. GOOD LUCK. Perhaps you could get the friend you blamed involved as well and apologise to her also.

Answer 6

You made that mistake 10 years ago or more and I am sure she already forgot it. But your conscience won't leave you alone ultil you confess it.
If you tell her things like you're telling us now she will understand and I am sure she will feel and think like your mom. Your sister sounds generous and forgiving and she loves you so much so I am sure she will forgive you and you'll live in peace.

Answer 7

she is your sister im sure you wont lose her. just tell her exactly what you did here. you shouldnt still be torturing yourself about it. tell her you are sorry and that you know you made a mistake and how much it has affected and bothered you. she may even be mad at first but she is family she will get over it and you may feel extreme relief from finally telling her.

Answer 8

I think you need to see a Psychiatrsit i dont mean that offensively.
But if you are worrying about something form 6 years ago that is so trivial and its making you cry and lose sleep then i think you should seriously seek some professional help.
Because something like that, that happened so long ago you should be laughing about with them and thinking of it as something daft that happened in your childhood.
Like when your mum gets pics out of you when you are a baby in front of your friends.
You cant go through life worrying about things like this or you will end up suffering from anxiety attacks or even some form of mental illness.
Go and see your Doctor.
Baz

Answer 9

Of course she will forgive you, Potentially she might already have a clue you stole it. If yoy want to apologise then apologise, she will not disown you. Why not buy her aome flowers when you do it. Help soften the blow and let her know you love her.

Good luck

Answer 10

I think you should find the ex friend and apologise to her. If you then do the same with your sister then even if she stops speaking to you at least you know you tried to put a stupid mistake right.