Do you trust your childs health visitor?

Question

My answer at the moment would be NO! My son is struggling to eat "our" foods and the HV said to starve him, that he would eat when he was hungry. So I said what if it goes on for a week? Her reply was HE WON'T STARVE HIMSELF HE WILL EAT EVENTUALLY. I gave it 6 days of him eating the tiniest amounts of sandwiches and then he started getting blood in his poos. I gave up after that, I am not going to starve him like that again I feel like a terrible mother but I am glad I did not listen to her and trusted my own instincts.
Want to know the best bit? Has the HV phoned to see how we are doing?? HAS SHE HELL AS LIKE. So there you have my rant for the week!

Answer 1

Don't take this as a 'my Son has, so your Son must be the same answer' as I know they are all different.

But, I had the same issue and similar recommendations around the same age, as well as one for, 'if he won't sleep, at night, lock him in his room and let him scream until he does' etc.

He is 13 now and on prescribed meal supplements as he has no idea when or if he is hungry, thirsty, hot, cold or tired.and still rarely sleeps for more than a couple of hours at night.

You might know it better as Autism.

They said he was 'too tall' to have that as well.

I'm surprised no one suggested Leaches.

I wouldn't take a medical 'professionals' word for it if they came in on fire and said they felt warm.

Good luck x

Answer 2

My daughter's health visitor never came back after a couple of visits and my grand daughter is now one! We are trying to get it sorted out but no one wants to know. They all seem to think that it's my daughter's responsibility to go to the health centre to see them. Why are they called health VISITORS! My daughter is a young single mum with her first baby. She could have had post natal depression or anything and nobody bothered to check if they were all right.
The last HV she saw, gave my grand daughter some of her vaccinations at the surgery. When my daughter went in, needles were lying that should have been disposed of, and other patients notes were left in view when the HV left the room. My grand daughter also developed an abcess at the injection site. I am really angry but my hands are tied as any complaints have to come from my daughter and she is very quiet.
I would not trust a health visitor with my dog! You're right, we're safer trusting our instincts. And that's my rant for the week too, lol. Thank you, I needed to get that off my chest.

Answer 3

I totaly trust my health visitor. She has been hear for both my daughters and if i needed her she would come straight away. If she was keeping a constant check on you and your child would you not feel that she was worried about your parenting skills. (like she thought you couldnt cope without her)? the first few weeks of the midwife and h/v coming round all the time was very invasive. They are there to help not to supervise your every move. As for the eating thing, no child will starve themselves. Find something that he/she likes and offer them that as a snack if he/she doesnt eat dinner. they have to learn that YOU decide what is for dinner not THEM.
Also make mealtimes fun..... (not a task)

Did you check with docs that the lack of food had anything to do woth the blood in the poo?

Answer 4

i have had a similar problem with the youngest of my twins. she was throwing up every meal and then been scared to eat again. the HV said to force her to eat again after been sick and she would get used to the food
at the time i thought her 'advice' was outrageous and asked to see a dietician. the dietician was lovely and said the HV's advice was terrible and it would only make my baby have an issue with food. her advice was to slowly introduce new foods and texture and she would eat at her own pace. her advice worked but can you imagine what would've happened if id've listened to my HV? in answer to your question NO i do not trust my health visitor and i never have trusted any of them. i find they do not listen and the advice they give is very out-dated. i find they only want to get involved when they want to look good for the authorities. the HV that gave me that advice didnt even have any children!!!!!!!!!and she didnt want to know at all when i got severe PND she just said 'do you feel like chucking your babies through the window?' when i replied NO she said 'then you'll be o.k then'

Answer 5

a health visitor is a qualified nurse so it sounds very odd that she would give that sort of advice, would not recommend starving a child at all. good on you for following your instincts they are usually right. my daughter has problem with differing advice from different HVs but they are human and everyone has differing opinions i guess but that advice sounds crazy have never heard it before. why did he have blood in his poo? u dont say how old he is, did he have diarrhoea? if so sometimes u can get a bit of bleeding as there is irritation but this is not normal and needs checking. as mother of 7 and grandmother of 3 my advice would be to get him to eat the things he likes and gradually introduce new things to him. my grandson is 7 months and anything u give him he makes a face like you are trying to poison him and he will not eat anything with lumps. yet his older brother (2) has always eaten everything put in front of him. all children are different so dont worry

Answer 6

Take no notice of these H.V's ! I agree with Hapnap...The health visitor's I had, well none of them had any kid's and as every mother know's you can't learn it out of a book ! With my youngest, she is now 5, well I never saw one after she was one ! I rang up when she was 3 for her 3yr check and they said that they don't do them anymore and to just fill in a survey that the Dr's surgery sent out! i'm not doing their job so I didn't bother, but she's fine anyway..Also she went through a phase of not eating, you didn't mention your son's age so is hard to say, my daughter was about 2 then and would only eat pasta and pizza, and would only eat a small amount on a plate at a time..she eat's normally now though and eat's ton's ! Good luck and if you are worried, take your son to one of the Dr's at the surgery who specialises in Paediatric's or ask for a referral to your paediatrician at your hospital..Unless it is a physical thing, he should grow out of it, in the meantime, nod and smile at the H.V's then throw your 'red book' to the back of the cupboard and forget about it ! Ps my son has had chronic constipation since he was born and wouldn't eat when he was little as he seemed'full' all the time...just a thought...
Pps..I'm sure there are some lovely H.V's around, I just never met one when my kid's were little !

Answer 7

I used to see the Health Visitor regularly when my eldest son was under Her "care". If I missed an appointment, I would have been contacted to make another one. My youngest son is 26 months, I have seen/spoken to my assigned Health Visitor TWICE! I don't take him to the"Baby Clinic" to get him weighed regularly.This is because one time I went, there were several boys with the same name as my son and some other woman went in with her baby and nearly walked off with my SON'S "red book"! The Health Visitor had weighed this other baby, who was younger than my son and put his weight down in the red book. What really F***ed me off is that the Health visitors should have asked for surname or address to confirm the identity of the child and that there wasn't much of an apology!

Answer 8

I'm an oldie now I'm 40 years in age and as they say in my day yes my hv was brilliant ....

i now have 2 grandsons and the advice my daughter was given totally shocked the hell out of me
shes one of the lucky ones she had me to advise her but them poor first time mums who have no back up and listen to the total crap that they are told i really feel for
i know times and advice change but come on common sense is whats needed here if a child's hungry feed it if hes wet change it its not rocket science and although we need help and back up most mums know best they always did and always will

Answer 9

Personally youre the bast heath visitor your child could possibly have. Kids get used to not eating. My eldest eats like a bird but he loves swet things. So how do i make him eat. Well I give him stuff that I know is relatively healthy and that I know he'll eat. And if he does really well with the food, he gets a reward.

Also there are excellent appetising tonics out there that not only will nourish youre child but will also enlarge his appetite.

My best advice to you, don't stress! Children need very little food at the best of times!

Answer 10

I don't put much faith in HVs. I used to work with a few, and wondered what they did back then other than weigh babies, and still don't know what they do. They of course will tell you that they spend a lot of their time dealing with "complex social issues", of child neglect and abuse, but when these cases come to courts, its social services that get the praise/blame.

When my daughter was ill and losing weight, they just charted her weight in the little red book. Not a word was said until she dropped off the chart. Then what happened?
We were advised to see our GP!

I should have just seen him in the first place!

Eventually my daughter was diagnosed with Coeliac disease, and whilst I cannot blame the HV for not spotting it, I blame her for passing us off every fortnight to get her reweighed until she fell off the scale, and then palmed us off the the GP.

As a parent, please follow your instincts, and those of your mother.

GGGGGRRRRR. I am going to be in a bad mood all day now thinking about them!