how do you handle a rude guest?

Question

i have a friend who has a very rude girlfriend. when she come over no one has a good time. she doesnt help out, she comes on to my husband, shes dirty, she goes threw my things, uses all my towels(if she over for 4 days she will use 8 i have asked to bring her own. but she doesn't. she doesnt like anything i cook and won't hesitate to say so. they have 5 children between them and she insists on have a private bedroom for her and boyfriend. Everything she does is rude and disrespectful.
i think the world of our friend but the girlfriend is driving me nuts. i honestly don't know what he sees in her. i'm ready to end my friendship with him because of her.(but his such a good buddy to my husband)

Answer 1

Someone that rude would never be allowed in my home again. If your husband's friend asks why things have cooled, be honest, if she does this to you, she does this to others.

Answer 2

You need to put your foot down. Next time, tell her something like: "You know what? Since my cooking doesn't agree with you much, how about you entice us tonight with your culinary skills." Personally, I am very direct and to the point because I feel that it's unfair to be anything else. When I say what I mean and mean what I say, there is absolutely no room for misunderstandings and that is fair to everybody. You know exactly what is expected. And just to make sure of it, I add at the end "any questions?" When people do not do what I expect in MY home, I directly remind them that what they are doing is a no-no. If that doesn't work, I ask them to leave exactly this way: "Look, I hate to ask...but I'm a very private person and you are just not following the rules I've set down. I've made you a reservation at ABC" It's your home. Lay down the law!!!!

Answer 3

Maybe you could try to change things around- First, don't let them stay over your house anymore- If you must, plan an evening out, maybe to dinner with the 4 of you, that way you only have to deal with her for a few hours.

Or, if your husband is aware of your animosity towards her, then suggest that he and his friend just plan a guys night out, so you and your husband can be without her- plus, they'll probably have a better time that way.

This must be tough. Sorry! Hope this helped.

Answer 4

Not only is she rude but she is selfish, inconsiderate, thoughtless, nosy...in short, she's crossed the line of acceptable "guest" etiquette and then some. The only way to deal with someone this ignorant is to be direct and to the point. If and when she does something you don't care for, tell her. If it was me, I would make it clear that she's not welcome in my house anymore. But you seem to be sitting on the fence about her because her bf is "such a good buddy to my husband." If you do nothing, nothing's going to change.

Answer 5

You don't. DOn't invite them anymore. It's your house, you don't need to justify it to anyone. Your husband can do "buddy" stuff with him; they don't need to stop being friends (although I'd be careful of him having to hang around with BOTH of them :) ). If your friend asks why they haven't been invited, don't lie to him. Tell him politely what she's done to trash your house/been rude to you. Don't be rude about her, be respectful to him and above all be reasonable. Just present the facts, like you did here. If he doesn't understand the problem, well maybe it IS time to end the friendship. On the other hand, maybe he'll see what she is and come to his senses.

Good luck, hope it all works out.

Answer 6

Have a talk with your friend. Tell him that when she comes to visit there will be no more overnight outings at your house and they will have to get a hotel room. Let him know that having all of them over for an extended stay is just too much for you to handle. Tell him they are welcome to come for a BBQ or meal, you will still go out and have fun together, but you cannot provide room and board also.

Answer 7

Oh, wow. Get rid of her; you don't need anyone that nasty in your life or your home. What a *****. She wouldn't last long around me! As for your friend, he is in deep doo doo being with someone that thoughtless and rude. He will have a very hard road ahead with her; behavior that extreme never improves with time, but does get much much worse. There is literally no excuse for her behavior and anyone who tolerates it does her a disservice. Someone needs to tell her exactly what she is and how her rudeness affects others.
Your friend feels a need to be punished for some reason and he is with this dreadful woman because he has little or no self-esteem and doesn't see what she is.

Answer 8

Oh my. I think the first thing you need to do is sit down with your husband and talk to him about this situation, if you haven't already.

That said, what I would do would be to tell your friend that you're sorry, but you are unable to have guests stay at your house. (I'm sure you can come up with a reason for this.) Tell your friend that if he will let you know how much he can afford to pay for a hotel or motel stay, you will let him know what hotels are in his price range in your area. Be polite, be pleasant, and refuse to engage in discussion of why they cannot stay at your house: "I'm sorry, but it's just not convenient now."

Don't get into any discussion/argument with him over his girlfriend's behavior. Don't be defensive, just be polite and firm: it isn't convenient for them to stay with you, but if they will let you know their budget, you'll help them find a hotel they can afford to stay in during their visit.

Hopefully boyfriend will get the point.

Answer 9

You don't have to be treated this way. You are allowing her to walk all over you like a doormat.
I would stop inviting them over PERIOD. If they ask why, tell them what you've told us here.

Some people don't get the hint unless you get straight to the point and are very direct. Good luck.

Answer 10

Next time they come to visit book them a room at Motel 6.
If they ask why they can't stay at your place just smile and say "I'm afraid it just won't work out."