I been dating this guy josh on and off for a long time.We recently broke up and are trying to work things out with each other.He wants me to move to Iowa and live together with him.My parents don't want to talk to me about it.How do I make my parents see Josh and I point and that we both are adult and they need to let us be together.I will find a way and be with Josh with or with out help from my parents.My parents are making things with Josh and I not good. How do I change my parents mind about Josh and let me be with him?
2007-08-29 09:46:47 · 12 answers · asked by Molly M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Josh and I are working things out and he really wants me to fly up and visit him in january and then some time move in with him.How do I explain this to my parents.I want to see him again.We have not seen each other in two months now.
2007-08-29 10:16:54 · update #1
I am 24 years old. I been with Josh since 1999.
2007-08-29 11:15:07 · update #2
Some observations:
According to your chronological age, you are an adult and may legally make all of your own decisions.
That does not necessarily mean that you will always make the wisest decisions about the conduct of your life.
You must learn by your own mistakes.
Your parents may have a point about your proposal to live with a guy you're not married to.
From your comment that you "will find a way" to move, it looks as if you've already made your decision. If you already have, why do you think it's necessary to change your parents' minds? Have they chained you to your bedroom or something (I'm assuming that you're still living with your parents)?
If you're still living with your parents at 24, have you considered that it might be time to plan your escape from their household and be on your own?
If you're not living with your parents and are already financially independent, have a good job, and are in charge of your life, then I don't understand how your parents can prevent you from moving to another town or state.
Now here's my personal opinion: moving to another state to live with a guy that you're not married to is not the wise decision that a smart, independent woman such as you are would make. If you deem it wise to move closer to him, then get your own housing, get your own job, and support yourself.
2007-09-02 09:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kraftee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and Josh have been on and off for a long time, then your relationship is not a stable one. You are out of your mind if you even consider moving to Iowa with someone you are in an on again off again relationship. You should listen to your parents, because they are right. You move to Iowa, and what happens when you and Josh are off again, and you want to go home do you think he is going to pay for you to go back home, no he isn't. He is going to be in Iowa with some other girl, and you far away from your parents. Do you even know whether or not Josh has a job and a place for you to live. YOu really need to think this through. How do you know If Josh is faithful to you in Iowa. When Josh gets you away from mom and dad, he will kick you straight to curb like Beckham, and you will have to call mom and dad to pay your way home.
2007-09-04 16:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by pookster4262 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do whatever you feel is right. Why do you want to live with this guy if you are broken up? What if your plan to "work things out" fails? Then you are stuck in another state! Why don't you go visit Josh for a week or two in Iowa. Your parents cannot get mad if it is just a trip. Go to Iowa and live with him for just a little while, try to solve your problems and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, you can always take an early flight home, and if it works and you two are madly in love, even your parents have to relent and let you stay. Everyone wins!
2007-08-29 16:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound as if your parents are trying to interfere, it sounds as if they have genuine concern for your happiness and well being, however, I don't know ur parents,nor u,but, u did state this is an off-and-on relationship, that can't be good within itself, not to mention u r planning to uproot your self from a possible safety net to move in and/ or simply being with this guy, I'm sure if u possibly defy ur parents concerns it will hurt them, but, what about the hurt u may encounter, I'm sure there has been disappointments in this relationship previously, Sounds as if things with Josh r pretty bad without reactions from your parents. "Just recently a mother was brutally murdered by her daughter's boyfriend outside the city I reside in, her mother beg,pleaded, and warned her not to be with this guy,but, she didn't listen, so one night the guy waited until he knew the step-father wasn't there, went to the mom's house where the daughter was, brutally shot the mother with a double-barrel shotgun at close range, killing her instantly, beat the daughter really bad, kidnapped her, their newborn child and his uncle, evaded the police until they captured him, when they found the girl, he had broken several body parts on her", things like this really do happen, i'm sure the daughter did not suspect the outcome of her defying her mother warnings would turn out the way it did, "what a memory to live with" ? Think this situation over carefully, this may not be ur circumstance, but, who knows?
2007-09-06 13:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by yawhaneeh53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and Josh got together when you were only 16. Hardly old enough to make such a life long decision. Why at 24 do you need help from your parents to go be with Josh ?
2007-09-04 19:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's pretty simple. If you are over 18 then you can do whatever you want to do, you don't need permission. If you need financial support to do it and they won't help, that's...well, just too bad. This thing you want to do is an absolutely HORRIFIC decision, and perhaps they simply won't be a part of it, and I wouldn't either if I were them. If you are under 18 then really I don't think could say yes legally, although you might be able to do it as long as nobody pursued the issue as it relates to underage people, or an underage person living away from home who is not emancipated. Legally your parents are responsible for you if you are under 18. But you seem unwilling to say how old you are so I just don't know what to say but I tried with both scenarios above.
2007-08-29 18:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With Josh's help find and apartment (by yourself or with a female roommate,) and a job near where Josh lives.
Then you will be demonstrating to your folks that you are establishing your independence but not just jumping in with Josh. Maenwhile it will provide an opportunity for you and Josh to work on your relationship - while you still are learning to stand on your own two feet.
2007-09-05 23:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i don't know how old you are, but if you are an adult then i say do it. Just know that you are taking a risk and there is a chance it wont work out and you'll have to go home. I did the same thing. I was going out with my boyfriend for a while and things weren't that great, we had some problems, but i was totally crazy about him. We broke up, he moved to another state because he wasn't doing good, and he needed to get his sh*t together. He called me one day and we got to talking and he asked me to come see him. He bought me a ticket and i went out there and we both totally fell for each other again. I left and we continued talking and then one night he was like look i want to be with you, if i come down there and come get you, will you move in with me? I said yes. My family wasn't to happy about it because of our problems in the past, and i pretty much told them listen im going to do this, i don't want to have to wonder what could have happened. So i did and we have been living together for 2 years and going out for 2 1/2 and we both couldn't be happier. My family loves him now because they know he is good to me and im happy. We plan on getting married one day and things are just perfect. So pretty much it is a risk you have to take, that can go two ways. Just be aware of both of those ways and do what you want to in your heart. Good luck.
2007-08-29 17:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by California Kush 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just need to tell them that you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I am in the same type of situation my gf lives in Wisconsin and I live in Virginia. She wants to fly out here spend a few days packin my stuff and have me move back there with her.
I am all set for that but I have some issues I have to take care of before I leave and the good thing about that is she is willing to help me take care of the issues
2007-08-29 20:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by pujolsfan2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown woman. You have to decide for yourself what you want out of life and with who you want to spend it with. They will have to realize that you are no longer a little girl and that it would be best if they just gave you their blessings. -Pray about it & God Bless.
2007-09-05 20:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋