We have discussed having a baby and are planning on doing it but he keeps finding reasons to put it off another month. I know he's just nervous but I'm getting frustrated. A family member suggested I go ahead and start trying. It usually takes at least 3 months for conception once a woman has quit taking the pill so I feel like I have 3 months to prepare him. We already have one and have been married for 10 years. I know he wants this and will love a baby but I feel like wrong hiding it even for a month. Should I continue to wait or listen to family?
2007-08-29 09:09:17 · 12 answers · asked by migrainegirl1 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Just so everyone knows, it wasn't my family member that suggested this. It was someone from his side. As I said, I don't feel it's right.
2007-08-29 09:25:29 · update #1
I wouldn't hide it from him as this can cause future problems and he may resent you for it. You need to sit down and have a long talk about this. Find out why he is pushing away from having a baby. Yes he may just be nervous but you need to understand that. As for the birthcontrol that is your body your choice. You could tell him that you just don't want to be on the birthcontrol anymore and let him know you will probably be going off the pill. If you do get pregnant then atleast you were honest with him. Make sure he understands how bad you really want a baby. You have to do what feels right for the two of you. No you shouldn't trick him just because you can and your family says to. This is your marriage not theirs. Good luck.
2007-08-29 09:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by momof3boys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't go off the pill without telling him. And it doesn't take 3 months when coming off the pill. I got pregnant the first month after coming off the pill and I had been on it for over 5 years. Just talk to him about it and tell him you want to stop taking the pill, but don't hide it from him. That is really dishonest.
2007-08-29 16:27:14 · answer #2 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a heart to heart talk with him tell him you're ready nicely that you're stopping birth control pills. He can start using condoms if he's really not ready(I doubt he'll want to) but stopping the birth control with his knowledge will put you closer to where you want to be. Not telling him anything isn't right. It will create resentment that will taint your marriage. This will just give a little push.
What's more you certainly have a right to not to use birth control pills. The older you get the more health risks are involved with taking them. You may want to point that out.
2007-08-29 16:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by sophiasgr8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want another baby and he's just using those reasons as excuses. Or maybe he has legitimate reasons. Either way tricking him into that is a horrible thing to do.
2007-08-29 16:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by Townie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would b like you getting pregnant unexpectedly as a teen. How do u think he's going to feel not knowing that you arent protected and having a pregnancy fall in his lap. This is something you two should plan TOGETHER. i think it is wrong of u to keep that from him,
2007-08-29 16:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by *DiZzLe* 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lies in a relationship are never a good thing. Wait until both of you are ready, it is very wrong to force him to be a father when he is not ready!
2007-08-29 16:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by iamhis0 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes yes yes it is WRONG!!! what kind of relationship do you have if you think it's ok to trick your partner into having a baby? try talking to him...if he's really not ready then wait. but if he realizes how important it is to you maybe he'll change his mind.
2007-08-29 16:18:27 · answer #7 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait but make sure you tell him how important it is to you. Put your foot down and maybe he will agree. Don't sneak and do it though.
2007-08-29 16:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jen F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to, then why would you decieve him and do it? Talk about killing trust. If he is making excuses then he is not ready to have a child.
2007-08-29 16:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by krennao 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think?
Seriously, do you think deceiving your husband is fair? How would this be different from him poking holes in his condoms?
2007-08-29 16:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋