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my daughter is almost 3 years old. i love her to death and she's an angel to me, but she will not stop screaming. she is constantly screaming, whining, and shrieking. anything can cause her to scream. i can be reading her a book, and if she tries to turn the page and the pages stick together, she'll scream. she can by lying on the floor, and if one of the cats walks near her, she'll scream. i can be playing games with her, and she screams the entire time. she'll try to put on her shoes and start screaming. she got a new toy called "lucky ducks" and every time one of the ducks fell over, she'd scream. every time she screams, i calmly say "no screaming", it never works. I've tried putting her in time-outs, it never works. she just constantly screams. has anybody ever experienced this? my nerves are shot here. please help me out, i dont know what to do, or what really works. thanks in advance.

2007-08-29 06:43:17 · 13 answers · asked by superyduperymommy 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

she's always been a whiney kid, but it's gotten really bad in the past 6 months

2007-08-29 06:55:37 · update #1

if she's screaming at her toys, should i take them away? for how long?

2007-08-29 06:58:51 · update #2

13 answers

Walk away, ignore her when she screams until shes' done- don't feed into it. Also, work on helping her find the words to vent her frustration/anger- when she screams you can say something like 'Gee, it looks like you're really mad/angry/upset, but you need to use your words, not scream about it. I'm going over there until you're ready to use your words about being mad instead of screaming'. May take some time, but eventually she'll see other ways of communicating get better results.

2007-08-29 06:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by magy 6 · 6 0

Is this a new thing or has she always been doing this.
If it's new it might be an indication that she is having a tough time with something. Has there been a change in her life to which she needs to adjust. Has something scared her that you don't know about? Get her to draw pictures and she should comment on what she's drawing you'll be able to get an idea from there why she is so frustrated.

If it's not new then she has developed this pattern of behavior. She thinks that if she screams the situation will resolve itself. You have to show her that it doesn't affect you. The pages won't miraculously unstick themselves when she screams. Either walk away from her when she screams or put her in a different room. If she follows you tell her calmly that you don't want to be next to her when she screams because it hurts your ears and take her back to wherever she was. It's very important to be consistent and calm. The main thing is to show that you are ignoring it.

2007-08-29 14:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by ghds 4 · 1 0

Aren't kids awesome?

This screaming thing is pretty normal, although your daughter seems to have taken it a little far. This is how I get children to stop screaming:

I never reward screaming. If they are screaming for a toy or whatever, I calmly ask them, "Is that how we get what we want? No. We ask nicely." Before they can get what they want, they have to quiet down and ask nicely. Usually by the time a child is two and a half they can answer my question and calm down right away.

If a child is hell-bent on screaming and throwing a tantrum, they can do it somewhere else. I put them in an isolated part of the room (at home I will put my child in his own room) and say, "If you're going to act like this you can do it by yourself. Come back when you're done screaming."

If a child freaks out easily, I spend more time teaching problem solving skills. For example: Jessie wants to play blocks with Gina, but Gina doesn't want to give her any. Jessie begins to scream and cry. I will suggest that Jessie find some other blocks to use and ask Gina if she would like to share them with her. When this problem is resolved, both children are satisfied and I point out that using our words and asking nicely is a good way to get what we want.

**edit** Often kids scream because it is the solution that they know works (and sometimes the only one they can think of). Ignoring it is good, but teaching your child better problem-solving skills is ultimately the way to get her to quiet down. Imagine how happy she'll be when she can resolve it herself!

2007-08-29 14:11:07 · answer #3 · answered by Meghan H 3 · 0 0

Here's what psychology would say about it: first, screaming has some sort of reward for her (probably it feels good to let it out). So you need to NOT reward her for screaming in anyway, and instead try to reward her when she doesn't scream. You could try asking her to say something particular when she wants to scream, even if she has to yell it out at first, it might sound better than the scream. For instance, say "I want to play a game with you, and I know that because you're so smart you'll get it right, but you have to try very hard. Whenever you want to scream, I want you to say "shoot!" (or whatever other word you can think of that won't drive you crazy). When she says the word, reward her with something simple (i.e., "good job!"). You could even do a reward system, where she gets something really special at the end of the day (or at lunch, or whenever) if she makes it through a set period of time without screaming--for example, "you can pick out a sticker book/pack of gum/new box of crayons/etc. if you get through the whole afternoon and you don't scream." You'll have to remind her (a LOT) at first but she'll get the hang of it, especially if you're consistent.

You could also try this: every time she screams, have her do a time-out, for long enough that it inconveniences her (e.g., 5 minutes). While she's in time out, you can do something very appealing to her, within ear/eye shot, such as take out something she would like to play with, etc. Explain to her that after the time out, she can join you, but if she screams, that's it for the day (she can't do the desired thing until tomorrow).

Be consistent in whatever you do--stick it out for a whole week and see what happens; she should get better when she realizes you're not bending. Good luck!

2007-08-29 15:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Corozal 4 · 0 0

My 23 month old is the SAME way!! OMG I thought I had a lot of patience until this all started up. I haven't found what works yet either but I'm praying it's a short phase. I totally ignore him when he's acting like that. When he stops I'll talk to him or hold him. Keeping your voice down and not screaming back or trying to talk over them can help. I'm putting my son in a mothers day out starting next week just so we can each get a break from each other a couple times a week for a few hours. I hope it helps..

2007-08-29 13:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by pookiesmom 6 · 1 1

Refuse to interact with her when she screams or whines. Tell her you'll continue what you guys were doing once she uses her "big girl" voice and calmly walk away. Off goes the TV, away goes the toy...whatever she was screaming about.

She may throw a bigger fit for a few minutes, but eventually she'll try her big girl voice just to regain your attention.

Toddlers scream from frustration and for attention - if she gets absolutely no attention from it, she'll give it up.

2007-08-29 14:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by eli_star 5 · 1 0

Welcome to the trying threes!! Keep talking calmly to her and warn her, if she continues to scream, she will sit in her room until she stops, or she'll lose a toy or TV for the day, or whatever is important to her. Then, follow through. Stuff cotton in your ears, make sure you are well stocked on Advil, and let her scream. Eventually, she will stop. Good luck

2007-08-29 13:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 2 0

Had the same trouble with my son, I waited calmly till the tantrum subsided and told him that if he wanted to pitch a fit he should learn how to do it right. I got down on the floor hollering screaming beating the floor kicking for several minutes and when I stopped I got up looked at him to see a look of utter amazement on his face. he hasn't pitched a fit since.

2007-08-29 15:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Richard P 2 · 1 0

I would walk out of the room and tell her "I'm going in the other room and until you can be nice"... My daughter couldn't stand the silent treatment and would give up shortly... Whatever you do just make sure that you are consistent...

2007-08-29 14:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mommyof2 2 · 0 0

My 3 year daughter does the same thing, i think it must be a phase they are going through. Nothing works for us iether, good luck and thanks for asking, maybe we will both learn something.

2007-08-29 14:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by Smellies 4 · 0 2

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