Officers Help Please. Stepdaughter's mother in possible unsafe environment - do we have to let her go?

Question

My husband and I won custody of my stepdaughter 2 years ago. Recently my stepdaughters mother lives with her current boyfriend w/child # 4 on the way. They have fights that the police have to come to their house. We didn't know about this till 2 weekends ago when SD came home and told us the cops came cause her mom and bf were fighting physcially in front of kids. He grabbed her moms arm, she hit his head, etc. Apparently this is the 4th or 5th time cops came for domestic violence in the last 2 months, we just learned all this. Her mom says he was addicted to pills, and she got his doctor to switch his prescription and they are going to therapy now so everything should be all good again. Well she comes to get her Friday as this weekend is hers. Do we have any right to keep her from going somewhere we DO NOT feel safe for her to go? What if it does happen again & they both go to jail, does my SD goto CPS custody or will we get called to come get her?

We will violate court order if we don't let her go, we know this. Just wondered if there is anything we can do in a situation thats bad, physcially and emotionally? Or do we have to wait till something bad happens, cause we want to avoid that at all costs!

WE HAVE CUSTODY! We won custody 2 years ago from her mother thru the court system. This is just her weekend to visit her per the court ordered agreement, TX standard visitation agreement.

Answer 1

First...this is a civil and not a criminal issue therefore you certainly need to contact an attorney who can file a motion before the court for consideration of a change of custody.

In the meantime, I would contact CPS and report the problem.

Your attorney should be able to obtain any police report filed after responding to domestic violence for future use during any custody issue before the court.

A good "family law" attorney should be able to guide you through this process maybe starting with an "Ex Parte" order to gain temporary custody until the case is settled in court.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

You have a court order so you have to go to court to get the order changed.

You might check out getting a restraining order to keep the 'current boyfriend' away from your stepdaughter. Then you can say you WANT to comply with the court order and let the mom have her weekend... but not if boyfriend is around.

Getting records of how many times the police have been called over and a statement from your stepdaughter on the violence she has seen (esp if she feel unsafe) would be a good way to start requesting a restraining order.

But this is serious lawyer stuff. Get one. Whatever you pay them is cheap compared to the damage that could happen if boyfriend extends his violence or even just being there watching mom get beat up / being passive to the abuse. Girls tend to follow the behavior that is modeled for them.

God Bless you and Good Luck

Answer 3

I would say that you have every right to fight for her not going to the unsafe environment.
Maybe your husband should speak to the judge or lawyer he used in the custody hearing.
I believe that it is illegal to just not let them take her, unless an authority figure is aware of the problem and advises she not go. You need to make sure you are covered legally here....even though what you want to do is the right thing morally.
I do believe that if you have joint custody of her, if something does happen at the mother's house, you will be informed and you will be able to pick up your step-daughter. Although, you may be questioned about whether or not you knew about the abusive environment. And you don't want to be blamed for sending her there and not reporting it.
Your best bet would be to let an authority figure know what is going on (even if that means calling CPS and telling them you were just informed of the safety issues and do not want to send her there). You can always go back and ask for supervised visits only due to the environment.
GOOD LUCK! It's a sad thing to hear. I hope your step-daughter and the other children stay safe.

Answer 4

Go immediately to the family law court and petition for emergency changes in the visitation rights. Have their rights terminated ASAP. Just because they started therapy means squat. Until they area clean, sober, and have no more fights for 5 years, then they can start to have visits again.

Check with your local police department as to not allowing her to go over there against the order. I can't comment on Texas law, but nearly every state has an exemption in the law that you can keep a child away from a custodial parent if you think physical / sexual harm will come to them; it's just common sense. Bottom line: your SD's safety comes first.