My coworker was too shy to come her so I told her I'd ask this for her. Her 2 children, daughter 13 and son 11, have a conflict over the issue of friends. The son is kind of shy and sometimes has trouble making friends, while the daughter is more outgoing and finds making friends easy. For the past few years when the son has made a friend, the daughter will often get involved and the son's friend will push him aside to be friends with the daughter. It usually happens when he has the friend at the house, and she finds common ground between them in different areas than the son, so they push him aside. It really hurts him when this happens, and he won't bring friends over unless the daughter isn't home. My coworker is worried because she wants to know who his friends are. She wants to intervene somehow but doesn't know how, while her husband thinks they should sort it out between themselves. What is a good way to handle this?
2007-08-29 06:02:47 · 10 answers · asked by dapriz6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The boy needs to sort it out for himself. Mother may consider "helping" by having his friends round when daughter is out at ther friends. Suggesting to her daughter chatting up her little brothers friends is so sweet, how precious it is etc she will soon get fed up, and as she gets older it will become even less cool!
2007-09-05 20:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Rach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since her son is more on the shy side, I think that she should let things ride by themselves. She should say something to her Daughter though, and reverse the picture would she like that if it was the other way around. As far as the son goes I don't believe that he would do anything to embarrass the family because his fear of reprisal from the parents. It could be suggested to him that she would like to meet his friends once in a while. He shouldn't resent that, because it would show him that his Mother would like to know his friends. I am a firm believer what goes around comes around. I believe ther will be a time when the rolls will be reversed with his sister, and himself. The fact remains that most men are slower in maturing then the gals are. He is getting older, and as he does he will probably be more assertive as time goes on. Tell your friend I wouldn't worry too much, he will change as he gets older. Good Luck to All.
2007-08-29 14:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Butch. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a family, before the son resents his sister anymore I think this is a situation where the parents should talk to the daughter and let her know how this makes her brother feel. Hopefully that should solve the problem. I think it definitely requires at least one of the parents attention for the sons sake.
2007-09-06 10:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by rainydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a great one for suggesting that parents intervene in minor disagreements between their children. This one is different because I don't believe that the sister realizes that there is a problem. She should be very gently informed that her brother does not like the way she interferes when he has friends over and she should stick with her own friends.
2007-09-03 12:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, I feel parents should not get involved. but the parents can talk to them and point out how they are acting. and explain to them it is not right. and is hurting her brother. they can explain to the daughter, that her brother needs friends the same as she does. then ask her how she would feel, if things were the other way around.
I know that brothers and sisters, may fight at times. but they do love each other even if they will not admit it. so explain to her if she cares anything for the brother, to let him have his own friends. for this is hurting him.
I do not know how they feel about each other, but I hope this will work.
Good Luck,
2007-09-06 11:55:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The son needs to know that if his friends are boys, they will think it cool that his older sister is talking to them, and she has to be told that it is hurting her brothers feelings by not including her brother in the activities that she shares with his friends. They will work it out, but it wouldn't hurt to point some of these things out to the both of them.
2007-08-29 14:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same exact experience as the son does. My brother does what his sister does. It's so annoying. I usually just try to tell him in a similar way to stop making friends with my friends.
2007-09-05 18:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by Hydralisk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why she's asking you and you're bringing her private stuff here. Parent pays the rent in their home, and made the kids, they have a right to intervene. Have the girl meet her friends somewhere else so the boy can bring his friends over.
2007-09-04 14:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Persephone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep the daughter busy when he has friends over or just sit down with her and explain the situation to her and ask her to leave them alone while they are there. more than likely she doesn't realize that she is hurting her brother.
2007-09-05 14:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by Tina S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they will sort it out eventually, but the daughter shouldn't be too nosy...and the guy stop shying out...it awful..i too am shy but i have some close friends.
2007-09-06 12:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋