S&M BDSM 101? Bringing it up to your lover...?

Question

How do you broach the topic with your partner? Say, you've been together for a while, and you are just now comfortable experimenting in the bedroom. I am not into the hardcore stuff, but a little light bondage (blindfolds, silk scarves, etc.) and a little (non-intensive) discipline is HOT to me.

How do I bring this up? I am comfortable talking about it with him, I just don't know when is an appropriate time to have that conversation. Or how to have that conversation.

Answer 1

Start bringing it into your sessions going forward. First - in the heat of battle ask him to do something you would like. Start wearing some of the costumes you like to bed. Work the kinky stuff into the mix bits at a time and reinforce his positive responses by letting him know how much it turns you on. He should be well trained in no time.

Answer 2

There are a couple of different ways to bring this up but you could try this - Just after the two of you have had sex/lovemaking and your laying there together, just bring it up in conversation that some time you would like it if he blind folded you! Most guys will jump at a chance like this. Start with the blind fold and see what you think. It really does enhance your other senses and makes this a very erotic experience. If you enjoy that, move on to having your hands or legs tied up with the silk scarves. Just have them ready and tell him that you want to be tied up! Again, most guys will not say no to this! You may also find that he will reveal some of his fantasies to you too!
Have fun and good luck!

Answer 3

He's a very lucky man. Your willingness to indulge your interests is somewhat rare and very special, especially when it comes to BDSM or "love bondage", as it is known in those circles who share your passion for light bondage with some spanking without the hard leather-and-electric-clamps scene.
There are several videos dealing with BDSM, but most of them are just too cheesy, too pain-focused, and the bondage is waaaaay too flimsy. I found the best places to look for what interests you is the web. Check out bedroombondage.com for starters. It is quite good and can serve as an excellent springboard for other sites should you decide to focus your interest. Another informative site is bondagedirectory.com - a very comprehensive listing of bondage-themed websites. You'll likely find something that will kindle your partner's interest. Us guys are visually-cued and it likely won't take much to spark his interest, especially when he discovers how sexy and beautiful a bound and gagged girl is...the supreme act of trust and a delicate power-exchange all wrapped up for both to enjoy.
I've been into this scene since I was a pre-teen and I have introduced this to many, many females who discovered how pleasurable it was when safe/sane precautions were taken and her pleasuring was top priority. Some were like you in that they were already interested but just needed someone they could trust who shared the same interest. I wish you all the best. Your bf is extremely lucky.

Answer 4

first , dont say " S&M" or '"BDSM". because thats not what you want.

you want light bondage and discipline.

get it right or you might find yourself hanging up side down from the ceiling and being whipped before you can finish saying what you wanted to try.

there are several ways to do this, just say it, buy a pair of handcuffs and hand cuff yourself during sex. ( make sure the key is close by. but if you lose it, any cop will free you from the real cuffs, all the keys are the same. he will laugh though) or you could tie him up, with his tie or belt or spank him. he will get the idea and do the same to you.

i suggest you talk about it first. you can easily go to far and get hurt. i have been with women who went very far, i mean they liked the pain, i never would have done that to them if i didnt know they liked it.

Answer 5

Open and honest is the best way to discuss it. As for when, just sit down and talk to him. If you set up a time and place you will feel pressured and may lose your nerve. Just be straight forward about your needs, but be sure to ask him what his needs are, because they may be the same or totally the opposite. The only way to find out is to sit down and talk. Good Luck. Live Life to the Fullest and Enjoy Every Minute Of It.....

Answer 6

Find a porn or video online that exhibits what you are interested in...show it to him and ask what he thinks about that kind of thing. Guys are very visual so him seeing it in action will get the point across more than you verbally describing what you'd like to try...

If you get a positive response, then start shopping for the appropriate "accessories'! ☺

Answer 7

Him mmm ! ! I've been ask to do that to my Sweet Little Pet Slave. But me I'm will to try all most any thing. You will know the best time to ask him . go to a adult store show he some toys see what he says.All you can do is ask. If he says no find some on that will do it. Their are web sites you can go to. But they are hard to find for clubs. Go to a news stand. Some times they have magazines on places to go people to get in touch with. Adult stores like Priscilla's. or Adult book stores. At times it can be fun. we now are getting it swing clubs. witch are neat to go to. all I Can tell you is ask. their are a lot of men out in this world.

Answer 8

first. just get one blindfold. ask him to let you put it on him and he must sit still or lay down on the bed, motionless.

then start doing nice things to his wabbly bits. Just a touch, just a tease. perhaps a feather.

After he's enjoyed that, then bring up the subject. he'll be more open to it.

good luck and have fun !!!

LD

Answer 9

Share some erotic writing and/or porn with him that's along the lines of what you'd like. See what he thinks of it, and mention you think it looks fun, makes you hot, you're dying to try, whatever.

Answer 10

you need to talk to ur man let him know how u feel the best time is when he is comfortable nice dinner soft music create a nice atmosphere and then talk