I was informed of one wedding 2 years ago - it is a destination wedding, so they wanted to make sure everyone had time to save up to go to it. The second wedding is on the same day, and in a different state. I am good friends with both grooms-to-be. I knew of the destination wedding way before the second one that is out of state, but to add complications, my boyfriend is in the second wedding. What is wedding etiquette on this?
2007-08-29 05:23:11 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should go to the wedding involving the couple you care about the most, even if that means your boyfriend goes to one and you go to the other. A wedding is about a celebration of love and having the people who love you there to celebrate that love with you. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-08-29 05:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 12⤊ 0⤋
Do you already have airline tickets and hotel reservations for the destination wedding? If so, you may be stuck. If not, I would definitely ditch the destination wedding and go with your boyfriend to the one he is standing in. Even though you knew of the destination wedding 2 years ago, those people can't expect that everyone will put other activities on hold that have arisen within those 2 years. I would go to the second one, but send a gift to the other one as well.
2007-08-29 05:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you haven't already RSVP'd to either wedding. Obviously if you have, you need to attend that one regardless of the circumstances. The answer to this question, for me, would depend on how close I am to each couple and how long I've known each couple. If you're friends with the second couple only through your BF, but have known the other couple longer, I would go to the destination wedding and tell my BF to go to the one in another state.
If the two are equally your friends, figure out which wedding you think you'd have more fun at and RSVP to that one. Weddings are important, but either couple will understand if you have to bug out. Given that both weddings will require travel, they have to understand/know that there will be a few people sending regrets.
Another thing to consider: if the second groom feels so close to your BF as to ask him to be in the wedding, does that inherently mean that you're closer to the second couple?
2007-08-29 06:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Colleen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! Now there's a pickle... Well, etiquette-wise, you should attend the one you knew about first. It would be rude to suddenly bail for another wedding after knowing about the first one for two whole years. Your BF never should have agreed to be in the wedding party for the second one, but I know how guys can be with dates sometimes- I'm sure my BF would have cluelessly agreed without even thinking about the first wedding. : ) Well, you have two choices- either send your BF to the wedding he's in and go to the destination wedding by yourself, or have your BF tell the second groom that he's terribly sorry but he didn't remember that he'd already committed to a wedding prior to that and that he can't be in the wedding after all. I'm sure Groom #2 will understand- he'll have to.
2007-08-29 05:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the second wedding. Even though the first couple informed people well ahead of time so they could save up, that doesnt necessarily mean people will be able to afford it. This is an easy way to decline the first wedding and go to the second. Just explain that you dont have the funds, and because your boyfriend can't attend, you have no one to split the room cost with. I am sure they will understand, but make sure you send them a stellar gift!
2007-08-29 05:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kristi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. the proper thing is to honor the first invite you received. The fact that your boyfriend is in the 2nd one should not be a factor. However, destination weddings also come with the implication that they realize you may not be able to make it because of the cost....
What have you RSVP'd to?? if you've told the destination wedding that you will be there, then you are obligated to go. Without your boyfriend.
If you not RSVP'd to either one, then you can let the destination wedding know that you won't make it because of the distance/cost - send them a nice gift - and go to the states wedding... with your boyfriend... and take a nice gift.
2007-08-29 05:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is easier since no family is involved... you go to the destination that you have known about for 2 years, and he goes to the other.
proper etiquette would be to honor the first invitation... especially since you have known about it for such a long time and should have no excuse now not to go. saying at this point that you can't afford the trip is too little, too late.
if you went to the second, you would barely see your boyfriend at all. he will be busy all day, and you will maybe get a dance or two at the reception. and he is just your boyfriend...not your husband, and that does make a big difference.
think about the repercussions of missing the first wedding over your boyfriend being in another wedding party. is it worth ruining a friendship? missing someone's wedding you fully intended on attending is not something to be taken lightly.
my husband and i had this same situation a few months ago. he was a groomsman to a good friend, and my cousin was getting married the same day. we split up and went to our respective weddings. it was easier to do than deal with hurting anyone's feelings.
2007-08-29 05:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by MissBri 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Which couple are you closer with? I would go to the one where you know the most people and are most familiar with the couple.
If that's number one, then go to that wedding w/o your boyfriend. You can't make him back out of the wedding. So, he can go to the second.
If the second is more important, then all problems solved.
2007-08-29 06:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already responded that you will go to the destination wedding, then you have a prior committment to go to that wedding. Otherwise, it will be like something better came along.
Besides, if your bf is in the wedding, you won't be sitting with him, nor will you see him that much.
2007-08-29 05:42:05 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you replied to the destination wedding, then you should go to that one. Also, the two of you could each go to the wedding yourself. He could go to the wedding he is obviously in and you to the other.
2007-08-29 05:30:38 · answer #10 · answered by M v 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋