im 15. my dads girlfriend is very mean. she dont like me and i dont like her. she says things about me that isnt true and then my dad believes it. well i gave my dad a choice. either he would choice me(his daughter) or his girlfriend. he said "i shouldnt have to choose" i said i know but things arent working out. so he picked his girlfriend over his daughter. so i moved in with my mom. what does everyone think about this? bad choice that he picked his g/f or not? should i really be cryin over this? please someone help me.
2007-08-29 04:09:44 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You shouldn't have given him an ultimatum. That put him in a place where he either has to say ok my daughter can run the house, or else she can go somewhere else. If you believe his gf is being dishonest with him you should just tell him that and if he doesnt want to believe you then you cant do much about it. If you really wanted to you might be able to find a way somehow to prove she lied.
2007-08-29 04:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by timssterling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be upset that your dad wanted his g/f over his daughter, but what exactly did you expect him to do? He has already had one failed relationship(your mom) under his belt so how is it that you thought he would do the right thing?
Frankly, you are going to fight for attention with any g/f he brings home. You are going to be jealous and envious and want all his attention. But you are his daughter, and a man needs adult companionship too. I'm sorry it wasn't your mom, but that's on him, not on you.
If living with your mom works best for you then stay there. Otherwise you owe him an apology and you owe the g/f enough time to become her friend. If you are smart you will always become friends with the women your dad brings home. That way you are more likely to get what you want.
2007-08-29 11:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
a parent should never have to choose between the adult they love and their children. but you made the choice for him to choose between the two women in his life. but did he really choose? if he didn't specifically say, "I choose her, and you will have to live with it", then he didn't choose. you moved out, that was your choice. maybe he didn't want to choose, and you chose for him. I'm sure that he wants you in his life, but like someone else said, he needs adult companionship, and there are things in life you just can't give him. I know that you love your father, but there are times when you have to agree to disagree and work on your problems. it sounds like there are things you need to work out with his girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be pulled into the mix. I can say this as a stepchild and a stepmother.
as a stepchild, my mother always told us (there were five) that we didn't have to like the man in her life, but we had to respect him. as we age, we learn that a little happiness for them is a reason to stay and try to work out problems with the other people in their life.
as a stepmom, I have learned that there are things about my boyfriend's daughter that I don't like. but she is at the age where I can begin to make the changes in her. and I have been given full reign to discipline her as I see fit. his daughter and mine are six months apart, and they get treated the same by me. his daughter is spoiled, gets her way FAR too often, and sometimes there is nothing I can do short of getting really mad over the entire situation. we both understand that he has always taken the easy way in her discipline, and there is no consistency in the discipline she has received from him, her mother, and the grandparents. some days she is an absolute hellion, and other times I think she is the sweetest child on earth. but she is very jealous, of me AND my daughter. my boyfriend chooses me (my way of discipline, love and structure) because he knows it is best for his daughter, and we support each other in many ways. this does not mean that if I said, "look it's me or her. one of us has to go!" that he would choose me. I know he wouldn't. but if it came from her mouth 10 or 12 years from now, when she gets to be your age, he would tell her to deal with it.
maybe it's time you call your dad. make a date with him, just the two of you for dinner, and have a long talk with him. you sound like you're really a daddy's girl. and you're old enough to talk to him like an adult. tell him how you feel. and ask him what led him to his "decision" (if there really was a decision on his part). you may find that, by moving out and not working on the situation, he feels you made the decision for him. as for the girlfriend, maybe she feels like what she says IS true, and it may be from her perspective. the best thing all around is for you to work this out, and try to be civil to his girlfriend. good luck!
2007-08-29 11:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well i am sorry that this happened to you..but i think the girl friend is giving your dad things you cant and so he likes his pleasure more than you so you are better to be with your mom any ways...so good luck.
2007-08-29 11:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ah, grow up already.
2007-08-29 11:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋