since mormons are "sealed" through marriage, what if you divorce?

Question

I read an article in newsweek last night about this and how the mormon church, although clearly against polygamy in this life, seems to say that you spend eternity in the afterlife with whomever you were "sealed" to. what if you were married twice in this life, or divorced? Wondering what my mormon friends think of this.

Answer 1

We believe that you can only be sealed to one person. However, let me give a couple of scenarios to further explain.

Scenario 1 - The Ideal
Mormon Girl and Mormon Boy meet, fall in love and are married in the temple for time and all eternity. They never divorce, or remarry if their spouse dies.

Scenario 2 - The Ideal with a marriage after the spouse dies
Same as Scenario 1, except after the death of a spouse, the other one falls in love with another Mormon and they marry civilly (aka for time only). When all is said and done, the temple marriage is who the person is married to for eternity.

Scenario 3 - The Ideal, but with civil divorce
Scenario 1 happens but for some reason they decide to divorce. For any of a multitude of reasons (usually because of children) they only divorce civilly, they are still sealed eternally.

Scenario 4 - The Ideal is broken
Scenario 1 happens, then just as in Scenario 3 a civil divorce happens. The twist on this one is that things are so bad that a temple divorce is also needed. This is usually the case when there is abuse, but it can occur for any other reason too. There is paperwork involved that gets sent to the Church Presidency in SLC, and it is not granted in every case. We do not take the ordinance of being sealed light heartedly. If children are involved and a temple divorce is granted, we believe that the children will spend eternity with their father, not their mother. However, this too can be changed if the father gives up his eternal rights (my phrase, not the Church's) as father to his children. Things must be extremely bad for this to happen, and requires heartfelt contemplation on behalf of mother, father, children, and church officials.

Senario 5 - Time turns into Eternity
In some cases a civil marriage takes place before the sealing. Sometimes it's because of the laws of the land, other times it's because the spouse isn't a member, or for some reason isn't allowed into the temple yet. It can also be because a temple divorce to a previous spouse is pending. At some point in their future the couple is sealed together for time and all eternity. In the case of a previous marriage's temple divorce, the person getting the temple divorce has to wait one year before getting resealed to their new spouse.

I guess my point is, that's the way it works. We believe you will spend eternity with the person you are sealed to, and that's I think the main reason we take marriage so seriously. There are no "starter marriages" in LDS culture like there are in Hollywood and in other segments of the population.

Answer 2

Mormons who desire this blessing, can get married for all "time and eternity" and therefore have a union that transcends this life and carries on to the next. This kind of sealing takes place in an LDS temple. A Mormon man and wife, who do not desire a temple marriage, or more accurately, who have not led their lives in compliance with requirements of temple entry, can get married civilly outside of the temple. These marriages are not considered for time and eternity like the temple marriages are.

A Mormon getting married civilly can become divorced and this does not effect the next life as the marriage would have never been sealed for eternity. A Mormon getting married in the temple can also become divorced. However, those people can have their marriages dissolved civilly without the temple sealing being dissolved. A person must make a special request to have the temple sealing dissolved as well. This can be done through the temple wherein the marriage took place.
If a Mormon does not get the temple marriage sealing dissolved, they are considered to have the sealing remain intact and in effect for the next life, ie eternity. In that sense, a Mormon male can be married and sealed to more than one wife in the eternities.

I believe that this is accurate. If I have represented some inaccuracies, it is not to my knowledge.

Answer 3

Well, people have said pretty much all of it, but I do want to add a few things.

Eternal marriage can be broken by either one of the married couple by not following commandments, and not staying worthy to go to the temple. If one spouse does something against the commandments and doesn't repent, then his rights and privilege of a temple sealing are null and void.

Also, a temple divorce is granted pretty much all of the time for a woman. I think this is because she can only be sealed to one man, and if there were serious problems in the marriage, she can choose to be sealed to someone else later.

My mother divorced my father when I was 5. My mom remarried a year later, and my dad adopted all four of us kids. My biological father had his records pulled from the church, and in so doing, broke that sealing. My mom asked for a temple divorce and was granted it rather quickly. My parents didn't have to wait a year to go to the temple after that. They had already been married over a year civilly, so they didn't have to wait. We didn't have to be sealed to my dad because we were still sealed to my mom, and since my dad was sealed to her too, that means we are all sealed to each other.

Let me just say that the only time you have to wait a year to be sealed in the temple is if you first had a civil ceremony. They do make you wait so you can attend temple readiness classes and things of that sort.

Answer 4

A valid question.
First, there are two types of marriage. Marriage for time, in this world, and marriage for eternity, in the temples. If the marriage was a worldly marriage for time only, then a divorce is equally effective for time only. There is no bond between husband and wife in the hereafter without the sealing powers of the temple ordinance. If the marriage was sealed in the temple for all eternity, then a divorce can also be two-pronged. You can get a worldly divorce that is effective only for this life without effecting the temple sealing. That bond remains intact. You can also get a temple divorce and have the sealing broken by the priesthood authority that created it. Such divorces have to go through the general authorities for approval and are reserved for extreme cases. The Church tries to help all people to repent and return to the blessings of the eternal covenants.
That being said, if I read your question right, you hint at the possibility of having plural wives in heaven. You are correct. President Joseph Fielding Smith, who outlived three wives, in succession, was sealed to all three of them, one at a time, and will be husband to all three of them in the resurrection. So only those sealings that are broken by temple divorce can be released in the eternities. The Doctrine and Covenants promises that only in the event of extreme sin, murder and denial of the Holy Ghost, can the sealing powers be broken. We will have to suffer for our sins, where we failed to repent in this life, but after that spiritual repentance is complete, then the sealing powers will be able to bring us back into His presence. That is a rather simple explanation but you get the idea.

Answer 5

Marriage and sealing are two different things. Usually if a person has an unsolvable problem their blessings of sealing can be broken and they can become resealed to someone else. If the spouse of a sealed couple dies and the living spouse remarries, they are not sealed, only married until death and then the living spouse goes to live with their original.

Answer 6

From the thumbs up Rac has (mine among them) I think that all the other Mormons are leaving it as his answer, because it says it all perfectly. Great Job man!