Ok, so I've been hanging out with my friends and family a lot. My cousin owns a barbershop & they've been having a lot of functions that she invites me to. There's this guy there that I'm very attracted to but he has a girlfriend. I'm sure he can tell I'm a little attracted to him, but I maintain my composure because of his situation. However, everyone else is real friendly towards me and interested in gettin' to know me, but he seems to try to avoid having any contact with me what so ever. My cousin said it's probably because he likes you and doesn't want to be tempted right now.
I'm 30 & he's 26, I just thought that was a childish way of handling it. I mean even though we're attracted to one another doesn't mean that we still can't be cool and be friendly in a group setting, right? Or do you think it may be a different reason y he avoids me? I respect his situation, but wouldn't mind being his friend.
2007-08-29 04:02:45 · 39 answers · asked by jpg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys have a problem being friends with girls that they really like.
There is an old saying,
"You can have a Dog for a friend, you can have Whiskey for a friend, but if you try having a girl for a friend you'll end up drunk and kissing your Dog"
Hope this helps!
2007-08-29 04:08:39 · answer #1 · answered by C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't believe his approach is childish. He is just trying to avoid falling in to any temptation and we are only human things do happen especially when we are around someone we feel some type of attraction towards. You have said it yourself you are attracted to him and believe he feels the same; so if you guys give that space of opportunity what do you think is going to happen? And let's be honest when there is attraction anything could happen. He has a girlfriend and he rather avoid falling into anything that could later put him in an awkward, situation. My best suggestion is leave it alone, you don’t want to end up in the middle of anything.
2007-08-29 04:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by Diva1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men have a different way of handling things. Maybe you could just talk to him about it. Say something like "I know you have a girlfriend and I don't want to come between the two of you, can we at least be friendly towards one another?" Maybe if you bring up the situation it may make things better. Men can be a little childish sometimes.
2007-08-29 04:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not many people know how to handle themselves in certain situations. It is possible that he does like you and probably is attracted to you. However, he may not have the sense of security within himself to control his urges and/or the social skills necessary to behave in a manor that would allow him to interact with you while suffering internal anxiety. So, he opts to stay clear and maybe that works for him. Just accept it, say and do nothing to upset his balance, as it were. After a while, he may grow accustomed to you being there and ease into a group conversation, for example. Maybe his girlfriend is a royal pain and he is simply afraid that his conscious will spill the beans inadvertently, costing him his relationship. Who knows what his experience is. In any case, he will decide to do what he wants and when he finally realizes that he really is the one who makes his own choices, maybe you will still be willing to engage with him. If not, move on.
2007-08-29 04:23:03 · answer #4 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're right,or maybe maintaining a discreet distance IS the mature way to handle it in view of the potential chemistry between you two. Remember, you have no idea what he's feeling for sure, you just have "inklings". Your suspicions may be dead-on accurate, but in an intensity you can't handle, so maybe it's wiser not to try. For instance, some women I should never try to be friends with because I know it would be too easy to let other feelings take over. Maybe he knows that, too.
2007-08-29 04:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it; he probably can't have female friends. That's probably why he's avoiding you. If his girl realizes that he finds you attractive then it'll be problems in his relationship. Childish no. Don't make assumptions as to why he's reacting that way towards you. There are probably a few reasons why he's making space between the both of you.
2007-08-29 04:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by LAM3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might respect his situation and not mind being his friend but he may be trying to respect his girlfriend by not bothering with you. Let him be it is obvious he is either not interested or that he loves his girlfriend very much and wishes to please her, either way the message is clear back off. Oh and if you really do respect them, then you will respect his wishes and stay away. Honestly, to me it seems that you are trying to play with fire, you want to be his friend so that if he and his girl break up then you have a chance but that is not really being a friend and you know it., so I have to say that your the who is being alittle bit immature. your also assuming he feels this way but you shouldn't judge by the cover of a book. womens rule of thumb don't try to get with him while he is with another women, it belittles you and therefore opens you to the same thing if you hook up. he'll see it as hey she didn't mind me getting with her while I had a girl so why would she mind if I have another girl while I'm with her.
2007-08-29 04:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by fire and ice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a guy can handle it, sometimes he can't. If a guy knows that every minute he talks to a particular girl is increasing the chances of him following her to another place (just as friends) where they can talk (just as friends) and then have a moment (oops--how did that happen, we're just friends) and then get alone with them (oh, crap, what just happened--don't tell my girlfriend).
Sometimes a guy knows his choices are run away--now and far, or wind up in bed with you. Since he loves his girlfriend, he ran away. He may be able to get enough control of himself to hang out with you, or maybe he'll keep running every time he sees you. Unless you are trying to steal him from his girlfriend, let him handle that weakness in his way. What he is doing isn't really hurting you.
2007-08-29 04:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by wayfaroutthere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is 30 here, you or him? Act your age, he has a girlfriend, respect that. He isn't the only attracted man out there. Why do women want something they can't have. The only reason he probably looks attractive to is because he is not available and he isn't making himself available. If he was single, you probably wouldn't give him the time or day.
2007-08-29 04:11:30 · answer #9 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it does seem childish, but if he does not feel that he is strong enough to handle the temptation. if he feels that he would give in to his feelings towards you. then yes sometimes a guy would take the temptation from around him...
It may seem childish, but in his mind it seems to be the only thing he can do to keep from falling into temptation.
I have been married a yr now and i still walk away from a woman that i find physically attractive, if the attraction is strong enough for me to even think of intimacy with her.
2007-08-29 04:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Silver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋