my boy and i have been best friends for about year or so. recently, we started going out after i broke up with my boyfriend (now ex-bf) and him confessing his feelings for me.
We're about a month into our relationship now after going on 6/7 dates or so and last night he asked me if i wanted to sleep together while we were making out. I hesitated and said no because i didn't think i was ready to move forward and commit especially the fact that i was still hurt from my last relationship and wanted to take things slowly to make sure everything's right this time around.
i don't know what to do now/how to face him. He said it's okay if you don't want to [make love] and he doesn't want to pressure me into doing anything i don't want to do. He loves me dearly and cherishes me and in our social circle, we're publicly known as a couple. I don't know what to do now and how to talk to him about this issue and i really don't want to lose him. What should i do?
2007-08-29 02:15:43 · 24 answers · asked by bluemoon_743 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're not ready to have sex then don't. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. It sounds like he respects that, and that's good.
Why would you fear losing him, if he respects your wanting to wait?? He sounds like a good guy. Just don't worry about it. Don't put pressure on yourself to conform to what you think he, or anyone else, wants. Stay true to yourself, and if he loves you, he'll love you for who you are, not for what you do. And don't let your friends get to you either. Take your time, and when you're ready, you'll know it.
2007-08-29 02:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by Frinn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem here. You aren't ready, bottom line. If he loves you the way you say he does, then when he says it is ok if you wait, then take that to heart and not worry too much about it. You will know when it is right. He most likely respects you for being honest. It isn't healthy to jump into bed with someone so soon out of a relationship. It brings a lot of confusing emotions into play and could cause a lot of hard ship for both of you. It is very mature of you and very respectful for you to be honest. I know it was hard for you, but good for you. You showed you had respect for yourself and for him. You just aren't ready and I commend you for doing what you did. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Just be normal when you see him again and stand proud that you are confident and know yourself well enough to be able to know what you are ready for and not ready for. Good luck.
2007-08-29 09:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just bite the bullet and spit it out. Hiding your confusion and hurt will only pull you apart, Explain how scared you are to go to that level and why. Even though he's not the guy that hurt you, he should understand why you might be a bit gunshy.
Maybe you can compromise, and experiment with other ways of giving each other pleasure without 'going all the way'. There's plenty of ways out there, have fun together reading the books about it all!!!!
Good Luck
2007-08-29 09:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by smiliekyliekat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut feeling. Don't sleep with him until you feel ready, if he's been a best friend prior to you two being a couple and not sleeping with you. Then odds are that he'll still be a best friend and wait for you to be ready. Still I'd let him know that you really really appreciate what a great friend he is and stuff.
2007-08-29 09:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by Squish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you weren't ready and when your ready you'll let him know. Tell him that you want to take things slow, because your still hurt from your last relationship. And you want everything to go right. just tell him what your really feeling and tell him you don't want to loose him over something this little. If he really cares for you then he'll wait for you no matter how long he has to wait!
2007-08-29 09:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by LIL MISS VIXION 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he sounds great, he made a move, you turned him down, he accepted your position, I'm sure he's happy to wait until such time you feel you are ready. You're lucky and he obviously has a lot of love and respect for you...just continue on as you have, you'll know when the time is right.
2007-08-29 09:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did good.Giving up the goodies so soon creates the impression you are cheap.Keep those legs closed and let guys work for it.Do you want to know a secret?Most boys would do anything for you if you keep your garage closed and play hard to get.If you give them the remote to your garage with little effort then you become like any girl.Then familiarity begins to breed contempt.
2007-08-29 09:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him about it. It seems like it didn't bother him as much as it bothers you. You don't have to feel guilty because you weren't ready. Trust me, if he is worth it, he will wait. I waited 2 months to sleep with my boyfriend after I got divorced. Relationships take time to get over and we are very emotional when it comes to sex. Take the time that you need. If he cherishes you as much as you say, he will wait.
2007-08-29 09:20:22 · answer #8 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him tell him that you want to take things slowly and see what he says I think he will understand don't do something just because you feel like they want to. Make sure you are doing this for you first
2007-08-29 09:20:19 · answer #9 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy really loves you he should respect your wishes to wait until you are either married or when you are ready.
You shouldn't be pressured into anything.
2007-08-29 09:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Glamourous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋