I would love my fiances sister to be my bridesmaid and my two younger sisters...but I don't really want my cousin to be one. She's mega critical of EVERYTHING and before we were engaged she even critisised my choice of stationery.
She's my age and we've grown up together and it's kind of a given that she'd be my bridesmaid...to be fair, when we were getting on, I was like, 'you're obviously gonna be my bridesmaid'...but I just want sisters... :( Do I just grin and bear it or do I risk upsetting her? Could I ask her to be involved in something else instead of bridesmaid duties?
2007-08-29 00:37:13 · 13 answers · asked by Mrs Stevo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is YOUR day, not hers, and you only get one shot at it. If you don't want her as a bridesmaids don't have her - explain in a nice way and offering some other duties is a good idea.
2007-08-29 00:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by *Sparki* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Daughter-in-law asked my 2 teenagers { from my 2nd marriage } to be bridesmaids,she was also having my eldest Daughter { my Son's full sister } then she changed her mind, she only wanted the Eldest & her best friend, my Girls were very very upset,, they ended up handing out the order of service at the door, they were involved in the wedding that way, but were very upset not to be bridesmaids, however if you have not asked your cousin, then just say you are having just 3 bridesmaids, maybe she could be an usher, or like my girls give out the order of service at the door, then in the speaches thank her for her help, she will feel as though she has helped & been a special part of the day.Good Luck in your Future.
2007-08-29 07:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Weed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell her u only want the sisters involved cause i am afraid if u dont u will be strangling her before the big day, also, make her a attendant, over the wedding registery or something, she wont hold u too the bridesmaid thing and i know u would rather have the other girls as well u should...
2007-08-29 11:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try and put an age limit on it and say that you have a budget to think of and are limiting bridesmaids to the younger members of your immediate family. If you don't want her to be bridesmaid then don't . Your fiancées sister is again an immediate family member. I suppose you could put her in charge of looking after the bridesmaids on the day if you wanted to give her a responsibility without her feeling left out. Hope you sort it out.
2007-08-29 07:52:47 · answer #4 · answered by holly b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding is yours and your fiances day, so you do what ever you want to make you happy.
If people dont like your decisions, its their problem not yours.
If your cousin in over critical about things...do you really want her helping?
Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is and any help you can get would be benificial but only if they are going to support you and not try take over everything and put you off things you like and want.
Me personally wouldnt have her a a bridesmaid, especially as your not getting on and she is over critical which would cause more problems between you.
2007-08-29 07:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Thunderstorm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't already asked then tell her that due to financial constraints you are only going to have three bridesmaids and yes, ask her to do something else (e.g. be the Mistress of Honour).
That said, if you feel that she is going to be extremely upset let her be a bridesmaid. They do practically nothing except stand there and get their picture taken so there is very little harm she can do.
2007-08-29 08:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want her, then don't have her!! My best friend is getting married in October, and her other 2 bridesmaids are driving her nuts! (I of course am practically perfect) They are both also getting married this year (Sept and Dec) and are competing with her. If your bridesmaid is not supportive, it will make you miserable, and make the preparations really stressful. Dump her!! Offer her a reading, or an usher position, or MC at the reception.
2007-08-29 08:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by JPharm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of other ways! My best friend and i wanted to involve each other in our weddings, but couldn't afford the dresses, etc... So I was her usher (which was lovely as i got to plan my own outfit), I seated people and was also incharge of the music as she walked down the aisle, very important as i was the first to see her come down the aisle! At my wedding I asked her to be a witness! She got to walk up the aisle to sign the reigster and also followed us at.. she looked spectacular in her big pink hat!
We both felt a part of each others days.
Also we got my brother in law involved on the day by getting him to do a reading. He chose it and it was very special.
So just try out a few ideas on your cousin.. say you have an important task and you could only trust her with it!
2007-08-29 13:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by Vic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then just don't ask her to be a bridesmaid. She could do a reading at the ceremony, be an usher, sit at the guest book at the reception...
2007-08-29 08:18:57 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your previous message stated that this lady IS your bridesmaid. At this point, there is no way un-ask her. I urge you to train yourself to think of her input in terms of "helpful suggestions" rather than as challenges to Bridal Privilige and Prerogitive. I suspect that your cousin will quickly disabuse you of any silly notions like "It's MY day and everything should be MY way". Not every bride is so fortunate as to have someone near and dear refusing to toady. Keep her around.
2007-08-29 08:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋