I have four bridesmaids, my two younger sisters, my cousin (21 yrs old, who's training to be a nurse at the moment so a student) and my fiance's sister (29 yrs old, who's just bought a new flat)
Bridesmaid dresses are £70 each.
I'm fully prepared to buy my sisters dresses as they're only 17 & 14 but do I have to buy the others dresses? I can't really afford it but could probably afford it more than my fiances sister!
What do I do!?
2007-08-29 00:34:06 · 22 answers · asked by Mrs Stevo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You do not have to buy anyone's bridesmaid dresses. If a woman agrees to be a bridesmaid, she takes on that responsibility. When I got married, I fretted and fretted over this, as my brother's girlfriend was in the wedding. She asked me after she agreed when I was going to buy the dress. I said flatly, "the custom is for the bridesmaid to purchase their own dress." She said, "oh, okay," and it was no problem. She just didn't know any better, much like your sisters might not. They also might want to buy their own dresses.
Believe me, that cost is nothing at all--it's about average for a bridesmaid dress. Just be sure to pick something they can wear again and that is not flamboyantly ugly. Get your bridesmaids together, take them to the shoppe, tell them the colors and then you let them pick out the style of dress or dresses, or at the very least the accessories, shoes, something--then they feel like it was all worth it.
Your cousin and your fiance's sister are women. They should know the rules, and if they've accepted being bridesmaids, they know what the expect as far as purchases. An agreement to be a bridesmaid equals an understanding that a dress will have to be purchased (by the bridesmaid) along with accessories, and that it is an honor and a priveledge to stand beside you on your special day.
Good luck, and remember: it's your wedding, and there are going to be places left and right where people might try to take advantage of you. That includes photographers, caterers, building owners, musicians, etc. Just know what's right, do what's right, insist on what's right, and keep the stress for yourself (and your families, especially Mr. Hubby-to-Be) down to a minimum.
Have a blessed wedding day, and new life together as you become one in Christ. I hope it's everything you've always imagined, and more.
2007-08-29 00:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
From the answers so far, I'm assuming it's tradition that the couple or the people paying for the wedding pay for the bridesmaid dresses in the UK. In the US, the girls usually pay for their own dresses.
In this case, if you are going to pay for 2 girls, then you should really pay for them all. It's not fair to the other 2 girls since they are strapped for cash well. And if it is tradition that they don't pay for their dress, then when they accepted to be in your wedding, they probably assumed they wouldn't be paying for the dress. If you can't afford all 4, then I would see about finding less expensive dresses or see if you can find the dresses online for less money. Either that, or don't pay for any of the girls dresses & let your parents pay for your sisters.
This probably isn't the answer you want to hear, but put yourself in their place. Would you be a little upset if you had to buy your own dress when the other girls didn't have to?
congratulations on getting married, & good luck with the planning!
2007-08-29 08:20:35 · answer #2 · answered by tokengrl1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You say that you already "have" your four bridesmaids, yet the question of who pays for the bridesmaids dress hasn't been settled. I suggest that you settle this, and a great many other detail, before you proceed with further planning. Make a detailed list of every expense, task, and responsibility you expect each attendent to shoulder. Give the attendents a few days to review these lists and decide whether they truly wish to commit.
If you read Answers, then you know how many weddings and friendships are spoiled by last minute "Oh no, YOU are supposed to pay for THAT!" and "No one told me I was expected to do this. I don't have time."
2007-08-29 07:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been a bridesmaid twice, and have paid for the dress both times. One was A$500 (about 200 pound) and the other about A$300 (about 120 pounds). The bride then paid for make-up, hair and bridesmaid gift (both times the jewellery for the wedding). I also bought the shoes both times (although both times as long as the shoe was silver, they didn't care what it looked like)
I think it depends on what the general custom is, but also I think if the bridesmaid has to pay, she should have a say in what the dress is like.
Hope it's been helpful!
2007-08-29 07:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by JPharm 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you're going to hate this, but i think you need to buy their dresses. i dont think your cousin, a student, can afford it and someone who just bought a flat needs to be saving up as much as they can right now. you are a bride, so don't buy anything you cant afford...if you cant, then maybe you need to find cheaper dresses for your bridesmaids or find a way to split the cost with your fiance's sister and your cousin so it works for both of you. congratulations and good luck [=
2007-08-29 07:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by suni 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the bride is meant to pay for the dresses.
though it does seem like you a bit out of order to buy your sisters dresses and not your sister in law, however she is older so ask her if she could pay as £70 is not that much for a dress and if she brought a new dress for the wedding it might cost as much anyway.
if you really cant afford for your cousin, tell her that yourd love her to be a bridesmaid but you cant afford the dress, im sure she'll understand as shes a student and is probably quite skint. if she really loves you she'll understand that you want her to be a bridesmaid, but that its not possible.
2007-08-29 07:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by kerry 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
dont lie to them be up front and tell them why u cant afford their dresses and offer to either help pay half of the dress or the shoes, be lucky my bridesmaid ordered their dresses at 150.00 a piece and told them i was paying for it and i got stuck with the whole bill so i was out 300.00 to say the least.
2007-08-29 11:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The others can buy their own dresses. After all the dresses will be theirs after the wedding. Request them to kindly buy their dresses and shoes, only pay for the hair and saloon. As adults they will understand. I have been footing my own bills as brides maid at peoples weddings, as a way of support for the bride.
2007-08-29 08:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most bridesmaids pay for their own dresses but it's very kind of you to want to do it. How about offering to pay half?
I marry my sweetie October 20 07
2007-08-29 07:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by mom to be 6/27/09 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bridesmaids are usually totally prepared to buy their own dresses.
2007-08-29 08:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋