My cat is my shadow and follows me around EVERYWHERE!?

Question

I love my cat very much, but the older he gets, the more he becomes my shadow! Everytime I switch rooms, he follows me. If I close the door to go to the bathroom, he will cry and paw at it. When I go on our apartments balcony to smoke, he tries to come out with me or he'll scratch the window's screen and meow to come out. I go down the stairs, he comes. I go up the stairs, he comes. I sit at the computer, he'll paw at my leg and meow until I give him attention.

How can I make him more independant?? This is driving me NUTS!! I've had him for over 2 yrs and its never been this bad, but it slowly gets worse as time goes on and I want to break the cycle.

HELP!

He has TONS of toys!!! Also, I work from home, so there's always some sort of attention towards him.

Answer 1

My experience is that this is not uncommon behavior for a male cat. I was not surprised to see that you work from home. The cat is used to having you around and becomes anxious when you are not there. i don't think that another cat would help because he would just be jealous. Possibly a bird feeder or a fish tank might distract him temporarily. You might just have to pick a time of day that you close the door on him and have your space. If it becomes part of a routine, then the cat might eventually accept it and realize that you will be available after. Try it for a few weeks.

Answer 2

Are you sure that he is not sick? He probably isn't because this is ongoing behavior but it never hurts to inquire.

Undoubtedly your cat is highly bonded to you but this has made it more difficult and stressful for him and obviously annoying for you. Your cat has separation anxiety and you are the being to whom he has become overly attached.

You can retain your bond with him, keep his affection and still get more alone time. He needs to be able to stand on his own four legs and enjoy his own alone time.

Your cat feels very, very bad (frightened, anxious, maybe even physically sick) when he is out of your presence. Since this is based in anxiety, you want to create less stress for him.

While you are at home, make him be more independent by not allowing him to sit in your lap or anywhere else that he can touch you. He can sit near you but not right on or next to you.

If he sleeps in your bed, put up pillows or bolsters so he simply cannot sleep right next to you. Give him a comfortable and cozy cat teepee or something similar that will make him feel secure all by himself.

If he doesn't have one, you can build or buy him a tall perch (cat tree, shelves, etc.) from where he has a view of the outdoors with a bird feeder or a tree where he can watch activity. The height helps reduce anxiety for cats and he can focus his mind on something else.

You can play with him several times a day for 30 minutes each time to take some of his excess energy and anxiety out. Please do not use the laser pointer because that toy causes more anxiety.

Feed him his meals in small portions. Place his food down and then leave the room. The idea is to make him associate good things even when you are not there. When you leave, give him a long lasting treat like a chunk of chicken that he has to chew for awhile. This also helps him to associate good things with your leaving.

When you leave the house or come home, make the leavings and greetings completely boring and low key. Ignore him when you come home for at least 15 minutes. Don't pick him up or feed him or play with him. Don't even look at him.

You can also use drugs from your vet that do not dope him up but that change his brain chemistry so that he no longer feels the need to be constantly with you. You can use them along with other methods and then taper them off when he develops new behaviors.

Answer 3

Yes your cat is definately affectionate. My cat is exactly the same and if i go on the computer she jumps on the keyboard or if i read she pulls the book away and sits on it. She is jealous when i try to do anything else and needs a lot of attention. We take it in turns to give her a lot of love and play with her. After that she is often tired and will have a bit of a sleep. Is she alone in the daytime? Would she like another cat? You could always try out fostering a cat for a shelter in order to try her out with another cat. Shelters are often looking for foster families when they are full or crowded. Some cats like the company of other cats but often when they have been on their own for a while they don't. At least your cat loves you.

Answer 4

I think you answered your own question. "he'll paw at my leg and meow until i give him attention". I have 5 cats and 2 of those are like yours. When either wants attention I give it to them. Either loving pet, hug, or sometimes just talk to them. All of my cats follow me around the house, in the bathroom is a favorite. When I go to bed they are all 5 in there somewhere with me. They are my "kids".

Answer 5

Your cat just really loves you and wants your attention! Your cat must sense that you are a animal lover.. I would just make sure you give him some quality attention.. Just you and him for at least 10 min. Maybe he won't be so apt to follow you around or maybe he still will. Some cats are very loving and require lots of attention. Cats feelings can be hurt too.
Just face it, the cat loves you! :o)

Answer 6

Does he have enough toys or stuff for his daily activites? Maybe you should check them if he needs anything about his toilet, his nails or his fun. Or perhaps you should give some affection to him when you come home, play sometime until he gets bored.
Because it seems that he is trying to tell you that he is bored and wants some attention.
If you have not neutered him yet you should do this since he may be less active and calm.

Answer 7

Aww, he just loves you. Can you get a second kitty for him to play with? Also, I would advise you ignore his crying when you go out to smoke. Cats have a high rate of cancer, especially around their jaws from licking that junk, when they live with someone willing to smoke near them. I can't say I never have had a cigarette (not a smoker, but I dont mind smokers and I smoke from time to time with a friend), so I am not saying this to be against smokers, but you have to think of your kitty's health. If you already do keep him inside, then ignore that comment, it is for other people -- I have seen too many people even smoke INDOORS to provide cancer to their pets, as well as their neighbors.

Answer 8

In addition to what others have said, take him to the vet for any unusual behavior. he may be trying to tell you that he needs medical care. have him xrayed for tumors, e.g.