As a single parent if one of my children gets punished we all suffer. Example, my daughter acted up and I told her we would not go anywhere if her attitude continued. Of course she continued to act up and I heard her make the comment that since there was only one of me that I would have to take everyone anyway or we would all have to stay home .We were to go skating but i turned around and went home like i said we would if she didn't straighten up. My son was very upset at having to miss out on something he wanted to do b/c of his sisters bad behavior. My question is as a single parent how can I not make us all suffer for her actions, and yet let the other kids have some well deserved fun. I cannot afford to leave her with a sitter, she is 9 years of age and he is 8 so I cannot leave him alone at public places for activites. I have no one I can call on for help discipline her of watch her for free (including family) nor friends. How can I solve this problem?
2007-08-28 19:33:16 · 8 answers · asked by nene 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Why would you turn around and go home????? Bad choice... You should have taken them to the skating rink and then only let your son skate... Make her sit in a corner by herself with nothing to do, watching the others around her having fun.... Ouch would that have made her mad... Sometimes it is better to go and then not let them participate with the other.... Shows her that her actions are not going to keep the rest of you from having fun.... Limits, not punishment ....
2007-08-29 06:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by Joey_Pit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another alternative would have been to go, but sit out with her while her brother skated, and finished the punishment when you got home.
On the other hand, pressure on her from her brother is not a bad thing. Many times families (or teachers) will punish the group as a whole for the actions of one (or a few). This forces an attitude of comraderie and teamwork, where the bad few are motivated to do better for the benefit of the group.
2007-08-29 14:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good for you for following through but you have to find punishments that don't punish your son as well. You do not let her skate and she has to sit there while he does. He gets an ice cream she doesn't ..that type of thing. You should not call on others to help discipline her...you are the mum that is your job. You can put her to bed while the brother stays up. Lots of punishments you can use. Think up a list so next time you give the threat it is one that works for all of you
2007-08-29 03:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy, that's a tough one, but I think I would have found some other kind of punishment that would not have involved the whole family. Your son is right, it really wasn't fair to him. I think I would have taken privileges away from her. Something that she really loves, or loves to do, I would have taken that away rather than to refuse to take everyone skating. What kinds of things are important to her? Make a mental list of those things, and next time, take one of those things away from her. Or take two or three things away, depending on the severity of the crime she committs. You do well to get her under control while she's still only nine years old, because it sounds like she has it figured out how to control you, along with the whole family. That is very destructive to everyone including herself. Good luck.
2007-08-29 02:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by nonefiner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. My son thought that if he misbehaved, it would cause me to take everyone home and my daughter would miss out. I let him think it too right up until I made him sit on the sidelines while his sister had a ball. He saw a couple of friends and when they would come up to speak to him, I would explain to them that my son wasn't able to speak to them at the time as he didn't know how to behave properly and was being punished. That pulled his head in pretty quickly. Another punishment was sitting in the car. He would have to listen to my music and he really didn't like that. I had opera especially for him. Or I would organise for my daughter to go out with one of her friends and he got to stay home with me doing gardening work or sitting in his room or doing housework.
2007-08-29 08:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it had been me, I would have gone on to the skating rink and let my son enjoy himself while I made my daughter sit on the sideline or someplace away from the fun or friends. If she kept it up with the attitude, I would have told him we'll be out in the car and marched her out to sit in the vehicle with you. From time to time, you could pop in to check on him and then back out with her.
I'm sure you can find some way to deal with this until she drops the attitude. Don't let her continue to ruin things for him because it's a deliberate act to spite him. And he doesn't deserve it.
2007-08-29 02:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Jess 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your economic situation more than your single-parented-ness. If you were married and you both had to work, your son would still suffer for her actions. Maybe try different punishments, like grounding, timeout (?), and not getting her as much stuff instead of not going places. For example, if she acts up and your son is being good, subtract from her allowance and add to his. That should make her straighten up and make him happy.
2007-08-29 02:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your son skating or where ever and let her sit on the side, where you can keep an eye on her and make her watch.
2007-08-29 07:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by his wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋