for people who have ever had to put a beloved pet down?

Question

i recently had to put a cat down for cancer. It's still tearing me apart, despite being able to go through a day and smile, and having a wonderful kitten, who is a great cat on her own, i'm still torn up. This cat who i've had all my adult life, was hurting, stopped eating, and found his hiding place.
I chose to put him down, but the day it took place, he ate. He still cried in pain if you touched him, but he started eating agiain, and that's killing me. I couldn't stand to see him hurting, and i made the hardest decision i've ever made. But it's killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!! So this question is more than one.
How long does it take to come to terms with the decision to put a cat down?
And how do i know that i couldn't have had longer with him??? Without making him suffer?????

ty all for your answers, i can't pick any one as best, so i'll leave it to the voters.

you ALL gave good answers, btw, there is no perfect answer to my question, as i knew when i asked it. I have days where i'm ok, and days where i'm dying inside. i cry as i read each and every answer, and each answer has made me realize that i did in fact do the right thing, which i figured i did. it's that TINY amount of uncertainty that is hurting, and every single one of you who've answered has helped a little. i cannot pick a best answer, and i want you all to know that no matter who is voted as best answer, as far as i'm concerned, ALL have a best answer. tyvm...........and for any who might want to see the cat in question, the precious baby can be seen on youtube, type in "in loving memory of oreo brown".
again, ty all VERY VERY much for your heart felt answers, you are all the best!!!!!

Answer 1

Don't think of it as that you possibly could have had more time with him - that's actually a selfish thought - the opposite of what you're thinking. Think of it as "quality of life". Your kitty was very sick and it was time to go. And letting him go was the kindest, sweetest thing you could have done. Don't second guess yourself. Know that your cat is free from pain and loves you for letting him gently leave.

I once had a dog with cancer and as I watched him deteriorate kept putting off the inevitable. The day before I put him to sleep he was so weak I had to carry him outside to go to the bathroom. And the next day he went to the bathroom in his dog bed. I felt horrible for that - I know my dog seemed embarassed because of this. Ever since then I've been much more tuned into my dying pets and have never let them suffer more just to have more time with them.

You did the right thing. Cherish the memories you have of your beloved pet. If you want to talk to someone more about this I highly suggest seeing if your shelter has pet bereavement groups. It's a bunch of people going through what you're going through and a therapist that volunteers their time. It really helps to share feelings and you don't have to feel awkward crying about your pet because they'll be crying right along with you. You'll probably also make some really nice friends - I did!

Answer 2

I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better. Even tho your cat ate something there was nothing more you could have done for him. He would have suffered and the suffering would have got worse every day. You definately did the right thing and i think that you know it. You cat was in pain, the cancer was eating him up and it was his time to go. I know its hard and extremely sad, but you did the right thing. It takes time to get over the death of an animal be patient with yourself. Many years ago when i was pretty much still a kid we had a family dog and he was very old and very sick and i wouldn't let my mom take him to be put down. The dog suffered so much and i was too blind to see how he was affected. He eventually died but all these years later i still feel guilty. More guilty than i would have felt if i had let my mom do the humane thing.

Answer 3

Don't think about yourself. You could have had more time with him, but he would suffer, more and more. You made the right decision. Remember the good moments, your cat deserves to be a happy memory and not a a sad one. Remember his life, not his death, for his sake. The fact that he ate doesn't mean that he felt better. His instinct of self preservation worked for a moment, but cancer doen't go away like that. Anyway, now it's done. I am sure your cat had a happy life, and that's what matters. I wish all cats could have a life like this, and many people, too. So feel happy for him, he is now playing like a kitten in cat heaven.

Answer 4

Oh sweety, that is always hard. But please don't question your decision. Unfortunately, kitties with cancer seem to always need put down, because otherwise with the medicine available today they can suffer for a long period with very little to make them feel better. I was sure my kitty would die naturally of kidney disease, but she kept hanging on to the point that I had to do it to avoid pain -- it was beyond the point of return, and the alternative was better, so when I knew this time she was not going to recover I had to make the same hard decision. The alternative was having her choke on her own saliva while she was having seizures -- she was literally "gone" but still needed pts due to all of the treatments available to her.
Don't worry about the fact that he ate that day. It didn't mean he was improving. Often cats know that their "time" is coming and they will suddenly improve on their last day, and do things they hadn't done for a while -- it often leads people to believe they are doing better. In a way, that is good -- it means his day was comfortable, and he was at peace. My cat did that, she was completely free of symptoms of kidney disease and seemed to improve right before her sudden death.
Remember him that way, as healthy, not as sick. There was nothing else you can do. It is a very hard but selfless decision. At the time, the kitty often makes it clear to us what htey want, even if we don't know it. Chances are he was telling you somehow that he was ready, but now you are too upset to even consider it.
Come to terms with it by knowing you put him before your own desire to have him with you a couple days longer. It sounds great to have him longer, but every day would have been painful, as you knew that hard decision was coming, and watched him become sicker. Your vet may also be able to help you understand that you did the right thing. There are times when people pts early or without even trying, but your case is definitely not one of those.
You obviously love him, and it will take a while to heal. You will always have him, though, by your side. Cats have souls, I know that for a fact, and I also know they hang around. Talk to him, put an album together, and stop questioning yourself. It is easy for me to say that, since I did the same t hing. But know it is only natural, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I am sorry you had to go through this. Talk to him, and he will help you through it, I promise.

Answer 5

Cancer isn't reversable, so don't guilt yourself out over that.

I lost my Sylvester to cancer after a year of it being in remission, it spread to his lymph nodes and that was it... He was just two months shy of 20 years old and I'd had him from kittenhood on--he was with me for 3/4ths of my life. It was damn hard to make the decision but I had to.

It took about four years before I could think of him without tearing up. My Siamese was going through depression over it too (they bond to cats as well as people ) so I ended up getting a new young cat in less than a month, which helped us both.

You'll always have the last days in your head. Don't try to hide it away, but don't feel guilty either. If yours was crying in pain, then he was in pain and even eating again wouldn't have stopped that.

I'm so sorry. It does get better, though, I can tell you that.

Answer 6

Just know that you did the right thing. He deserved to find peace.

I have had to put pets down before, but I always felt like my parents had made the right decision (thank goodness I haven't had to make the decision yet!).

But in one way I might can help you. I used to get REALLY bad migraines, like such horrible pain I knew I would rather die than experience it. The only thing that kept me going was to hope that I'd find something to make them stop.

That's when I really started believing in the right to die, if I was ever in that much pain and there was no way it would stop, like with terminal cancer or something. I talked about my feelings with my partner, and he said "Don't, don't--no, I'd never allow that, I want you here with me!" and I got kind of mad at him, because it seemed like he was being selfish. Would he really want me to be in agony for an unnecessary few years just so that he could have me around?

So your cat may well have been and/or be grateful to you for ending his pain and be loving you from another place. I really hope this helps!!!

Answer 7

wow. im really sorry to hear about this. im dealing with the same thing right now. he stopped eating about a month ago. i took him to the vet and they said he had a thyroid condition. he took medicine for a month and was doing great until sunday. he stopped eating again and i have a vet appointment tonight. he has been hiding for awhile but comes out a few times and has a drink of water. he will probably have to be put down tonight im thinking. its killing me too. i have had him for 14 years. hes the only thing i wanted to take with me when my wife and i got divorced. i have been a wreck for a few days now and i hope i can get over the pain im gonna feel when he passes. since they cant talk they cant tell you where they hurt or if they need something. i hope your pain goes away soon but not your good memories of your kitty.

Answer 8

First you will always think of our beloved friend. You made a decision (a very difficult one). Now you just need to believe that you did what you would have wanted someone else to do for you. He was suffering, He would have kept suffering until he passed on naturally.
We inherited a cat that had Leukemia once from our vet. She could not keep the cat. It had been hers in a previous marrage. She gave us all the pain meds we needed for the cat and food. The cat progressed until it was in so much pain I gradually increased the meds until the cat was able to go to sleep without pain.

Answer 9

Now you have me going.

First let me say, I'm so sorry you have to go through the anguish you are. Every one grieves in their ow way. It's a personal thing and hard to explain the feelings you have

It's the guilt that seems to take over on the day after. You ask yourself over and over, did I do the right thing, but in all actuality you know you did. You knew it wasn't fair for him to suffer any longer.

It's his eating that is confusing you. He ate some food because he knew he was going on a new journey where he was going to be pain free and that's why we have to let them go.

You are still grieving, but it will get easier to except that hard decision. The kitten you have will never replace the boy you lost. Now your kitten is waiting in the wings for you to say come on over so we can have a life together and have some fun and that's OK. You will never loose those memories that will always be stored for safe keeping. Now you will have new memories to work on,

Our kitty let us go three weeks ago after 25 years of nagging for her breakfast at 5:39 AM just like clock work. As a matter of fact we never had to set the clock. The same thing at 3:00 PM for her diner. She was the Queen and never let you forget it either. At 25 yrs. her body was slowing down. She too would still eat a little amount of food at each of her servings. She still was on schedule. So I know what you're saying about eating.

The time came when we had to make that rough decision. Man, that was the last thing we wanted to do. She's now doing her favorite thing, sleeping. It took a week before my tears came. We have our memories of 25 years. She's still here at times. Think she's still trying to do her famous nagging.

So here we are consoling each other and getting through our grieve together. Glad I had some one to talk to. As the saying go "time heals all wounds." That is so true.

You remember that too and also remember there's a little one
waiting in the wings for you.

It's time to say good night and may each day get a little bit better. Thanks for letting me go on and on.

Answer 10

You did the right thing, you really did. He was obvisouly in pain, and you dont want that. I just wish I was there to hug you and cry with you. The thought of puttting my baby down (my kitty) just kills me. You will understand soon that it was the right desion. It will take a little longer to not want to cry everytime you think of him, but one day you will be able to talk about this wonderful kitty you had and smile about it, laugh about the funny things he did. Just hang in there, it will be hard but it will get better!