I had a conversation with a guy who was interested in me and I in him. While we were talking about the Bible and other things pertaining to Christanity (we are bot Christians) he told me that he as a man needed to be the head of his household and didn't want a wife who knew more about God's word than he did (he's a minister), I knew he was hinting at me. I do know a lot about the word of God, because I choose to. I know that the man is the head of the household after God, and would never try to usurp a man's authority as long as he is not abusing his position as head of household. Do you think he was threatened, and if so why? Wouldn't you guys want a woman who was godly and knew God's word? Seems to me a wife like that would be beneficial. Tell me, what are you guys wanting, not that I'm going to change. I'm just interested in knowing.
2007-08-28 19:18:33 · 20 answers · asked by guts_spunk_moxie 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Dear Kimmy,
Personally i think that if this man is a minister he shouldn't be intimidated by how much of God's word that you know- but actually this should be an attractive character quality to him. Because as he knows his role is to be the head of the household- a woman who knows God's word more than him- would know how to be supportive of him in her role (especially as a minister's wife).
I'm a youth pastor and actually its a question my kids at my old church once asked me. Would you marry someone who knows more about God's word than you? i said: "Absolutely, because she would know that Biblically my role is to be the Spiritual leader of the home." Just because someone knows more than another person- part of that wisdom is also to know how to encourage people and build people up. And to pick and choose what to share and when to share.
Obviously it would not be cool- to embarass him in a Bible study. But as a minister of God's word- he shouldn't have to worry about being corrected for misteaching God's word. i would be blown away and blessed if my Sunday school kids started quoting things in the original Greek and Hebrew (and knew more than me about some stuff in the Bible- it would motivate me to study even harder) and it would let me know that i'm doing a good job encouraging them to follow God.
Being a servant of God is about building other people up- and if someone is reading God's word and growing in it- i'm always, always for it.
Perhaps he's just intimidated but i would seriously take this matter to prayer.
In instructing the brothers and sisters in my church- i emphasize the role of the men in terms of loving and being spiritual leaders. But women are to submit to the men- and so they are to blame sometimes if they choose someone that they can not respect spiritually. i have known sisters who choose "cute" brothers to date- but they don't respect them spiritually and are constantly "correcting" and "putting them down," and i don't consider that to be very spiritually healthy or edifying.
Hope this helps. Kindly,
Nickster
2007-08-28 19:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by Nickster 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Look, I am about as conservative as they come, but this is ridiculous. I remember watching a show on tv (Sheppards Chapel with Pastor Arnold Murray, who is one of the best TEACHERS I have had the privilege of learning from) and the question was asked "weather women could be priests, pastors, whatever" and the answer was given that stated from the scriptures "the sons and DAUGHTERS" will give testimony. I don't know where it is in the Bible exactly, but get out your Strong's Concordance (if you don't have one, get one) and search for daughters and you will find it I think in Ezekiel or in the New Testament somewhere. I don't want to try to influence your heart, but forget about this guy. He is jealous of your knowledge. I believe our time is running short, and we all, as Christians, have a job to do, and weather male or female we will be judged by God. Find this evidence in scripture and let him know about it and if he insists on his same mindset, leave him alone. The Word of God has said, "chastise a wise man and he will love you, but chastise a fool and he will hate you." All men are proven by their actions (and reactions for that matter). Do not take a back seat to this guy. The way I see it, he has two options, learn more about the scriptures than you, or stay out of your way.
2007-08-29 03:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it almost sounds like he doesn't have a good understanding of the biblical concept of marriage. yes, i know i'm called to be the spiritual leader of the household, but i don't want to be an unbearable tyrant. sorry, but the way you write it sounds that way to me.
i definitely HAVE TO HAVE a godly woman- there are no other options. if she knows more about the Word than i do, that's great, so long as she doesn't preach and nag day and night, and try to use scripture to tell me how sinful i am. the entire purpose of being ''equally yoked'' is to keep each other's faith strong.
edit- noone is inferior to anyone else. this is not what the scripture says, or even hints at.
2007-08-29 02:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by That Guy Drew 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
kimmy: I'm a Christian male and I tend to agree fully, with you.
Any man, who feels threatened by a woman, that he feels is more knowledgeable, Christian or not, is only "kidding" him self should he reject such a rare find as this. A good knowledgeable wife is a complement to her male companion -not a hindrance ! ( What is God to do ? ... not instill any knowledge within His female creation ?) A good woman works along side her husband not behind him - especially for a Pastor ! I think, on a more personal note, that any man has to announce to his female companion (potential), that he is "the head of the house" is lacking true humility to replace his spiritual pride with. The man (Christian), who can have you for his mate has most definitely, found his "Proverbs 31" woman !!! Who could want more ???
2007-08-29 02:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. There are some who think that true power resides with women as the bearers of life. God created the world but we call God Father not Mother? Could be the reason is all about ego - and muscle headed men needing to feel in charge. You can't change the way he thinks, but you might want to do a little reading on your own.
2007-08-29 02:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be proud of you, and I would not bikker about the smallest thing, for it does not make the man, any less of a man if he does not know more than the woman does, for woman, and man are equal in all things, because we have free will, do not be offended by what he has said, maybe he was just joking for all I know, but just let him know that you Love him, and why would it matter if you knew more and he didnt, plus that is a good thing if he is a Minister, for you can teach him, so he can teach others.
2007-08-29 02:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he felt threatened by you knowledge of the Word of God. And I think you're correct, for a minister, a wife who knows the Word of God well could be nothing but a blessing. Actually, for any man, a woman who knows the Word of God is a blessing.
2007-08-29 02:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
My wife is a wise woman, and dedicated to God. I wouldn't have it any other way.
She understands her role as wife, and I understand my role as husband, each as outlined in the Bible. We are now regarded as leaders in our congregation. .
We look to Proverbs 31 as a place to start. While some of the tasks outlined for the Wife of Noble Character are outdated, the scripture offers the basic guidelines of a wife's position. It also tells a man that he needs to be the type of guy that this type of woman needs to attain her full status with God. I must be worthy of such a woman.
The man you spoke to seems unsure of himself. Even though he may be a minister, his self esteem and sefl confidence seem to be lacking somewhat. Perhaps with time, he will mature. Right now, though, I don't think you need to deal with his immaturity.
2007-08-29 02:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Barry F 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kimmy,
A REAL Christian man will want his wife to be a GODLY WOMAN and to be able to read, study, and obey GOD'S WORD with his beautiful wife. I have a wonderful GODLY WIFE of 32 years and I am as happy as a grasshopper in a field of grass. Have a wonderful week. DON'T change a thing. Stick to your guns and you will find the right one.
Thank YOU,
Eds
.
2007-08-29 02:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by Eds 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a woman who is Godly and knows God's word. I wouldn't trade her for anything.
This guy, honestly, sounds weak dear sister. He may be a minister, but he's a control freak.
I'll tell you what I tell the young ladies I know: If you believe that God is sovereign over your life and has a plan for you: seek HIM, ask him for guidance in his plan and then commit yourself to your heavenly father. Don't be supplanted by second best, because you think you're in a hurry.
Listen to your Father in Heaven. He will guide.
2007-08-29 02:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by TEK 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋