HELP PLEASE! Should i date her?

Question

im male, 18, and just started college at LSU.
Ive been seeing this girl for half the summer and we've been getting along great. Initially, she really wanted to date me ALOT and was head over heels for me. We did basically everything and acted just like any couple would, only we didnt have a label attached to us. We were basically friends with benefits i suppose. Now that we have both started school at the same place and i have spent a fair amount of time with her, ive grown attached to her and i asked her out. She accepted happily and we became official. Now, just 3 days later, we have had so many issues. she says that earlier she purposly held back feelings to avoid getting hurt and that now she is having trouble having feelings for me. She isnt nearly as flirtacious or cute around me, avoids kisses, doesnt call nearly as much, and generally just seems to be distancing herself.

Im not sure if its because of dramatic change of going to college or if its something more center to us.

I dont know what to think. Should i give her space to find out what she wants, is she leading me on some chase, is it likely that things will work out, could all this change and meeting new people be causing this, does she really just not like me the same anymore, or something else? Should i even date her at all (even though i like her now) or should i just move on and say she could have had me but passed up the opportunity she always wanted?

Answer 1

you should talk to her and say it's obvious you need some space, so i'm giving it to you as long as you know i'm still feeling you. then her response will tell you how she truly feels. if she acts relieved in any way, like "yeah me too, this will be good for us", then you are gone. if she has even one hint of surprise in her eyes, then there's hope.

Answer 2

Ok, its probably not what you want to hear but review your statement
1) Early in the relationship she really wanted to date you ALOT (hence the word date-to a woman that means pretty much being a couple then)
2) We were basically friends with benefits I suppose-(This gives the woman the impression you only wanted her for the benefits, but no committment as a couple)
3) Now you have yourself at 1 feeling the same as 2

It boils down to trust with her at this point, the err of the relationship is that it went on entirely too long as a friendship with benefits, which yields nothing in the long run.

Answer 3

sorry to say, but I know how that goes. I used to be like that....see how far you can push a guy before he'll make a move and ask you out and then there's no fun in it anymore because the chase is over. she was probably just looking to pass some time in a non-committed relationship. if you had stayed friends with benefits you'd most likely still be together. I'd say talk to her about it, but be prepared for the worst.
good luck

Answer 4

I think that not that you have a label, its made her think more about it, she is a freshman at college and a bf will not make the typical college life go smoothly. She probably said yes because it was the "right" thing to do, and maybe she does have feelings for you but doenst want to be in a committed relationship. Talk to her, and ask her if she just wants to go back to the way you were or if she wants to make it work as a couple.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Hi baby! Let me tell u certain facts. 90% intimate relationships are only for sex. Sex determines lot many things esp. relationship. Maintaining relationship is a dance on the knife edge. To have the girl under your control you shall always be the Lion(king). You shall not be predictive. You shall do all kind of magic to keep her admiring and adoring you always. If you readily kneel before her for everything she'll start treating you like a beggar. Keep her mind always questioning a lot many things about you. She shall never get answers for the questions. You see that you are not repeating the mistakes you did earlier. This will irritate anyone. Tell lot of lies. Pretend you love her alot. All the Best

Answer 6

hate to burst your bubble, but she's just not that into you.
she liked keeping the relationship on the dl so she could keep her options open. but she probably got attached (chicks do that) and was at first happy that you guys were 'official'. now she's got her eyes on all the 'fresh meat' at college and is fantasizing about her options again (like that cute guy that sits next to her in english class).
now she's feeling tied down and is trying to a) keep you from getting attached to her, incase she decides to cut loose with someone else, b) keep her options open, c) deal with the fact that she does have some feelings for you, but thinks the grass might be greener elsewhere.

Answer 7

Tell her that you have noticed that she has been acting differently since the two of you became offical. Tell her that if she thinks that she has made a mistake by accepting, let you know. Tell her that you would not want to make her miserable. She will let you know from there where you stand. She may just want to be single for the college experience.

Answer 8

Let her go dude. She found someone else or she's interested in someone else. It's only a matter of time. Your in college now, so enjoy it while it last. Wait until after you graduate to start a serious relationship. Be social and have fun at college. You don't need any drama to distract you from your studies.

Answer 9

Tell her that you need her to decide what she really wants, and to let you know when she does. College is a time when you should be dating lots of different people, and finding who you are. I wouldn't waste a lot of energy and emotion on this girl. There are plenty out there that would be willing to give you what you need. Good luck, I hope things turn out well for you.

Answer 10

please dont be offended, but i think it was just a fling. since she didnt have alot of ppl around her at the times dat she had u, she didnt know what else was out there. school changes ppl n their relationships. u'll fall head over hills w/some1 and when u see someone somewhat better, ull be like, "maybe he wasnt such a big deal''. im tellin u from experience and having my gf's have problems w/their men 2. i wouldnt date her, ur so young. have fun 4 now , dont get 2 attached. good luck.

Answer 11

WOW
just give her space.maybe she liked just being friends with benefits for now and got thrown off by relationship attachments.maybe shes been hurt really bad before and is freaking out now. talk to her about it.let her know you really like her and the only reason you wanted to her man was cause you felt a strong connection.be real with her.the truth will come out eventually. try not to give your heart away so fast unless you are in a relationship for a long time with a girl I tell this to girls to.because you never know who you are with or if you love them unless you really know them.good luck