I am 25 and my step brother is 19. He is going off to university in a couple of days to be a fireman. My Dad and his wife are footing a good portion of the bill for this. I just found out that my bro was arrested and being charged on 3 counts of drug posession. When the school finds this out he will be kicked out. My Dad doesn't know and His Wife (bro's mom) and I have always had a pretty rough relationship. She will think that I am just jealous or something. And according to her he is the golden son, and could do no wrong. I feel responsible for letting them know before the rest of the money goes out, because he won't actually get the summons to appear until he is already a week into school. But I don't want to get ousted from the family too. What should I do? What would you want as a parent?
2007-08-28 18:21:42 · 13 answers · asked by Rhiannon F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I already sat down with my little brother and told him that he needs to come clean, but he denied the whole thing. I only know because the other side of my family works in the police business and gave me the run down.
2007-08-28 18:39:24 · update #1
As a parent, I would want to know, but I would want it to come from the offender or the authorities. Since you and her already have a difficult relationship, you should just go to him (bro) and say "I want you to know that I know and that if you don't tell them they will find out somehow."
They should be getting a tuition reimbursement, but it may be a check to him, which he may use for drugs or new bail.
2007-08-28 18:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in a tough situation. I would break the news to them, in a nice way. Try to sit them down and tell them they have to be ready to hear what you have to say and make sure you let them know the reason why you are telling them. If they don't believe you then I'm sure they can call the police department and find out a little information about it. Good Luck :o)
2007-08-29 01:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by ~{Graciela}~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were a parent, I would want to know immediately. Besides, if they find out later that you knew & didn't tell them, your Dad will be so angry at you. At the first opportunity, set them both down & tell them - AT THE SAME TIME. Your stepmother won't be able to say that you went behind her back. Your Dad will respect you for being so adult about the situation. Just don't gloat. Gloating would ruin everything. Good Luck & Blessings
2007-08-29 01:32:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tail Stinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An arrest leaves a public record.
Tell your father privately, and he can verify it.
If he does, there can be no blame to you as
you've just saved family money.
Your Step-Moms resentment will be of the
'shoot the messenger` type, and so you can
fight it by pointing out that all you did was save
the family the tuition that would have been wasted.
2007-08-29 02:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by Irv S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firemen don't attend university, do mean academy. If he is randomly tested for drugs he will be dismissed. Do not get involve remain quite. If he gets dismissed early the expenses will not be that great. Plus its not your money so don't worry. Her golden boy will turn into rusted steel and you will be the golden girl.
2007-08-29 01:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent I definetly would want to know. If you go to your dad or mom and tell them that you have something to tell them with there best interest at heart and that you are not trying to be vindictive. let them know what you know and how you know. I don't know your parents, but I am one and been through this with one of my own. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-29 01:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by Tam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to your dad. Tell him that you are concerned because you hate to see them spend all that money for nothing. Only other thing you could to is tell someone in your family, and have them talk to your dad.
2007-08-29 01:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to tell your step-brothers mom, and leave it up to her to tell your dad, this way you don't look like your trying to win over your dad! this way you will save money without looking like you are just telling on your brother! GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-29 01:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by pop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.. it's too bad you feel in some way responsible for your stepbrother's actions.
if it were me, i probably would keep my mouth shut... it's your brother's responsibility to tell the parents, not yours... money spent or not.
act like you are totally oblivious to the entire thing....
let the brother and the parents deal with it....
2007-08-29 01:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your brother first and tell him to come clean.
Give em a few days if he doesnt tell your parents.
Thell be happy to save the money.
2007-08-29 01:36:13 · answer #10 · answered by Skilow... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋