I'm GAY and scared of commiting to a serious relationship?

Question

I'm a 23 year old guy from California and I'm just scared to get into a relationship. I've never been with a guy before and I just want to love someone and be loved.

It's just too hard to because I have no trust in men and I feel so insecure about myself because the gay culture is so superficial. I just feel the need to better myself by working out my body just to fit in. I already have good body tone but its just not enough.

Answer 1

Your young - when you least expect it and when your not even looking, the right person will come along and you wont know what to do with yourself i think you'll find that when that person comes along everything will feel very natural and will come easily to you, there are many men out there like yourself who feel the same just put yourself out there and make as many friends as you can and somewhere along the line he will come and open up your eyes in a way that will make you feel good about yourself and the situation that your in. The more confident you are and the more you love yourself the more people will be attracted to you, no matter what you look like or how you feel now things will change you just have to really want it to. You'll be fine play a little hard to get and the more someone who really wants you will want you, dont change yourself - be yourself.

Answer 2

I don't think u should commit to anything serious u wrote it ur self u never been with a guy. For all u know once you with a guy for the 1st time you might not like it but if you do then u shouldn't have to worry about the superficial things the whole world is superficial. If you find the right person then the two of you wont really care about that.

Answer 3

I wish I knew what to say here. I am sorry to hear you feel this way. I am a female (not gay) and I dont want to really get involved with anyone either and I have had bad experiences. (nothing but). I know it is twice as hard for gay people to find a true love but maybe try to find a nice, decent LEGITIMATE singles thing to attend for gay singles. Bars are not good places to find ANYone-so dont do that. (ive never been to a bar/club bu Iknow too many people who go) Every good person wants to love and be loved. It is hard because everyone seems so wrapped up in THEMSELVES or some hip, trendy "scene" and when you want to just be with a REAL person who is down to earth and honest and MUTUAL it seems impossible. I really wish I knew what to tellya hon. I feel bad because I dont and Ive only had bad experiences . Hey! Ive only had a couple of "relatonships" in my whole life and Im 27!! I live in the south (unfortunately) and people around here get marrid and start makng babies at 14...or...somethin..most of the time they dont even get married...but maybe youre really okay and you dont realize it. Men can be impossible. So...youre doing good in a way. I wish you luck! Ill say a Rosary for ya. (Yes im catholic but I dont get into the whole gay-bashing thing! Against church law ...but most people dont know that....AND I like gay poeple. so...HUGS!!!!) PS Im reporting malakit for his DUMB *** answer!

Answer 4

Although I am a heterosexual I understand what your saying. I too fear committing to a serious relationship and I am 51. You just have to grin and bear it (no pun was intended) there is someone out there for all of us. Your young yet and you have time to enrich your life with the lessons that life has to teach.

You know the old saying...unless your willing to live life to its fullest, you will only be a shadow of what you could be.

have faith you are lovable and trust must be earned not given.

Answer 5

babee. dont be scared of commitment. find a nice guy that isnt a jerk, dont rush into things. thats about the only advice i can give you. i have alot of gay guy friends, and it seems like there relationships never last very long but its very possible you can make yours work, dont take the first guy that comes along, you will find the right man for you sooner or later. dont stress about your body not beiong as good as "other people" Im sure you look just fine. good luck babe <3

Answer 6

If you are sincerely gay...and this isn't just a phase or something, then why are you scared? I don't support gay relationships, but I support people who live their life, the way they want to live it. So by all means start joining some gay clubs, social groups, etc...and you are bound to find someone who you are able to start a relationship with.

Answer 7

Well, First do what you have to do to make yourself feel better, your probably low on confidence and think you might not fine love, just Relax your self and until you can build Confidence just mingle around..get to know another person and once your ready tell him how you feel and see where things go from there..To Become Lovers First be Friends

Answer 8

obviously you have some things to work on so don't get into a relationship until you figure out what you want to do...even if you meet someone, try to refrain until you know him and know yourself a little better or else you will be disappointed.
Always pray to God for guidance. Take it from someone who's been there done that.

Answer 9

Maybe you're not gay? I'm sure that ever since you said you were there were lots of people bending over backwards to tell you why they understood and like that.

But, maybe you are just a guy who is young and growing up.

You may not have reached sexual maturity yet.

Answer 10

I have a friend that is Gay .. He is there for me when ever I ned him. I do not ;abel him as a gay man. I label him my friend. You should not worry so much about what everyone else is going to think but about what is going to truely make you happy. If someone is going to love and accept you they are going to take you as you are. you do not have to change yourself for anyone. I have done papers on the gay community as they call it. It is safer to be ith one than many. Be careful and take care of yourself first and formost.