Is it normal for a mom to call me two or three times a night. I have lived out of the home for 3 years im 21. She calls whenever shes sad or bored and always expects me to listen to her every time she calls even if I tell her I have friends over. Its every day.. But I dont want to hurt her by telling her to stop calling so much cause she will cry. SHe is real sensitive. is there anything I an do.
2007-08-28 17:55:19 · 32 answers · asked by DaisyDUke22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents are not divorced.
2007-08-28 17:58:50 · update #1
As a mom I'm not going to be much help to you because my advice will be for you not to take your mom for granted. . .
My sister in law wasn't very close to her dad until he got sick then she was there for him day in and day out till he died recently and even though she was there for him recently she still regrets the time she didn't spend with him.
Enjoy your mom while she is here and don't take her for granted, if you need your space nicely tell her that your a bit busy and if she could call you during certain times or that you will call her when your not so busy (just make sure you call her back).
I hope this helped
2007-08-28 17:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
The easiest thing to do is to get caller ID and screen your calls. That probably isn't a good idea though. Even though you have been out of the house for 3 years you are still her baby and believe it or not she needs to hear your voice on a regular basis. I know she seems clingy right now but you will miss her one day and look back and laugh at her calling you every day more than once. I would suggest talking to your dad and asking him (dad's will do anything for their daughters) to do your a favor and try to keep your mom entertained so she is not invading your space too much. One other thing might be for you to call her during the day and give her a quick run down (without any distractions) of your day etc....then maybe she will feel better knowing her daughter is safe and sound. Or you can call her when you know she has guests or is busy and she will eventually understand when she calls you and you are busy that she shouldn't take it personal. Good luck.
2007-08-28 18:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by jb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to go through the same thing with my mom, it is called empty nest syndrome, she just likes having you around. It sounds like she may be depressed, maybe you should call her and just have a heart to heart. Let her know that you love her and you know that she is having a hard time, but sometimes you may not be able to answer your phone because you have company and you don't want to be a rude hostess. Maybe set a limit to a time each day when you will talk or just simply let her know, mom I am a busy person and it is really hard to get things done if I am on the phone all the time, can we set up a certain time to talk everyday? She will appreciate your open communication style and will add a little more flexabilty for your personal time!
2007-08-28 18:11:35 · answer #3 · answered by brandi91980 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG. I was so way in the same situation at the same age. Let the machine get it. Let the voice mail pick it up. If it is something involving blood she needs to call 911. You can not be her life forever. Be nice and sweet when you return her calls IN THE MORNING>....make plans to do something with her every week. She is your mom. SO, make plas to go for coffee or meet at lunch once a week and then make plans to go to the movies or shopping every two weeks or so. ASK her to make your favorite thing for dinner for you and come home every now and again. I bet if you give her some one on one time that is just hers she will not call you all the time. If she gets mad at you for not answering the phone tell her that you were in the middle of a game or movie or were just "BUSY" and could not get to the phone until it was really late. Do not let her push your buttons. Maybe you should talk to your dad about keeping her a bit more busy after dinner by taking her for a walk, or doing a couple's activity in town like a dance class or something. She is having a hard time filling her life with you gone. Make some healthy boundaries, but do not shut her out. Go by ever so often really fast and just give her a hug! Tell her," I am on my way to work and I just wanted a hug! I GOTTA GO! See ya tomorrow for the movie!" She will think you are the best. Try it. It might work. O^O
2007-08-28 18:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Three times a day is a bit much for her to be calling, Id say once a day at most is more than enough.
Politely let her know that youre busy, and you would love to talk to her but schedule a different time to talk to her and actually go through with it.
Maybe your mom just needs something to keep her occupied, encourage her to join a class or a club or something.
If shes just using you to vent on however, encourage her to go to a therapist or accompany her to an appointment cuz then the problem is more serious than just lots of phone calls every day. Good luck
2007-08-28 18:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mom truly thinks highly of you. She trust you to be there for her even when she is bore. I want you read something interesting I wrote at the bottom.
You're in dark room. Only a bright shinning light glares hopefully at you. Now sitting before you is your parents. The parents who been part of your life since the beginning. They are staring gleeful and proud at you. You feel so great and happy that they are there.
Suddenly, they get up and turn from you and then vanishes into the dark. They are gone! Really gone! I learn this when my mother past away...No matter how much you mom bothers you she is not going to always be there.
I think you are a really good daughter, and I know you understand what my heart is saying to you...God bless
2007-08-28 18:36:44 · answer #6 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you visit your mother? Maybe a visit once a week would help. Does she have any friends? Maybe help her bridge a relationship with a lost friendship or a family member (sister or cousin). When she calls you once make it very clear that you will talk to her tomorrow "I love you, have a nice night...We will continue this conversation tomorrow" Don't answer the phone after that and call her the next day. Try to enforce only speaking once a day until you can wean her to a comfortable arrangement of once every few days. She must be very lonely.
2007-08-28 18:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Batman2theRescue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit answering the phone every time it rings. Once a week is normal. 3 times a night is insane. She needs to get a grip and let you have a life.
Your only choice if you want any peace is you will have to hurt her feelings. Its that or let her own you for the rest of your life. Get caller ID or if you have a cell you know its her calling. Answer once a week. Being over senstive is a way to manipulate people into giving you what they want so dont fall for the sensitive crap. Its how she controls you. Just be honest and then quit answering her calls.
2007-08-28 20:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi friend,
There are 2 angles you look at it. 1st, your mom really missed you so much and 2nd, she has nothing else to do to keep you off her mind. In one word, she's loney and bored with life..Let's tackle the 1st..Put yourself on your mama's shoes..She reared you up, guided you through your 1st step,packed your food for school and many others..Then one day you're gone (I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, just stating some facts). Her heart longs for you. You'll ask why now after 3 years?? Maybe then she was still pre occupied with other things, but believe me when she's in bed at night, she still always think about you..But now all of a sudden, she is bored and has nothing to do..Believe me boredom and loneliness can make a monster out of a real nice person..Another question, you said she is not divorced but is their marriage ok?? as in "is she happy?". Obviously she's not else she would not have been calling you up everyday. Did you bother to ask her how she's doing lately?? My advise is to encourage her to find hobbies to occupy her time..encourage her to see new friends and join clubs. But constantly remind her how much you care for her..Be there for her..You have friends to talk to..maybe she doesn't have friends now. You'll be a mother one day and will also pass through this stage when the offsprings leave nest. Understand her now and when that day come it's your turn, you'll get a firmer grasp of the whole picture
2007-08-28 18:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Awwww, that's cute in an annoying kinda way. My mom & I are very close but she rarely calls me cause she doesn't want to disturb us (we have a baby) but I do call her every day. Why don't you just not answer & maybe she'll get the hint. I know it's mean cause it's your mom but you have to keep your sanity. If she's really sensitive I wouldn't mention anything to her because it would probably hurt her. Do you have an answering machine...that way you could screen her calls & call her back if it's important. Do you call her at all? Maybe if you start calling her then she won't feel the need to call you so much?
2007-08-28 18:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by Another baby boy! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mom is lonely, you need to help her make some friends, get her a man, but more importantly make some friends. She is relying on you to listen to her, and she finds it less lonely when she talks to you. In these cases you kind of have to be a little tough with parents. My mom did that to me too even though I have two other siblings who pretty much could have took up her time. I had to be stern with her and let her know that I am growing up and I need my space, of course I heard the whole bit about how much she has done for me and how I repay her by doing this, but it's a growing process for her too and now she loves her independent self. I also suggest watching "Because I said so" You will see a lot of yourself there. Best of Luck
2007-08-28 18:02:00 · answer #11 · answered by Om... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋