Please answer... gr8 aunt dying of cancer?

Question

my great aunt is very sick and has cancer. She has been like a grandmother to me my whole entire life, and i can't imgine what its going to be like without her, and i just don't know how to deal with it all. And worst of all, now i rarley see her, and no one in my family talks about it and no one tells me whats going on. :(

btw its metastatic breast cancer
and she can't get better... :'(

how do i deal with it????

Answer 1

My answer consists of 2 parts and you are not going to like the first part.

1. You need to accept that this isn't about you! This is about your Great Aunt. She is the one that is ill and having to deal with treatments etc, you are just playing the 'poor me' card. When I was diagnosed I had a close friend who I had supported through a lot of problems, and she turned around, burst into tears and said " I can't deal with this" and expected me to support her. I told her to leave and that I didn't want to see her again until she was prepared to offer support for my illness instead of expecting me to support her!

2. Once you have accepted it is about your Great Aunt, show her your love and support however you can. Send cards and letters, call her on the phone, send emails, whatever works if you can't visit in person.

Once she is gone, then you have a right to grieve for your loss, she isn't gone yet, so make the most of whatever time you have. Too many of us leave it too late to say "I love you". Any one of us could be killed in an accident tomorrow.

Answer 2

I know what it's like to lose someone very close. If the doctors have tried everything to help your great aunt and nothing is working, then just keep telling yourself that it is her time to go. As for your family, tell them how you feel and that you need to see her, to be with her. If they won't take you, there's probably a reason for it (such as they don't want you to see her in pain). If that's the case, ask if you can call her and talk to her on the phone. That's pretty much all I can offer here. Unfortunately, death is a part of life. Once the pain of losing someone has passed, and it WILL pass eventually, then you are left with the happy memories and the time you spent together. As long as you continue to remember your great aunt, she will never die because she will be kept alive in your memories.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry about your aunt's health.
I suggest wrting her a "why do I love you" love letter. Tell her what a wonderful person she is and include how much she means to you. Do stay positive and hopeful in the letter. This letter will do two amazing things:
1) It will allow you to express your love, so later on you won't regret not having told her how much she means to you.
2) This maybe just the kind of morale boost a terminally ill patient needs to get a second wind in life and to be lifeted out of her funk.
Write this and make it good, but get it tooo her as soon as you can. She needs this kind of support now more than ever and you'll notice how much better you'll feel wrting your feelings and expressing them to the person directly. You will begin to heal even before she's gone and that's a good thing.

Answer 4

You need to seek a higher power.
Everyone dies at some point and we miss them, we just have to remember that they are no longer suffering and though as human beings we have selfish love and want them here on earth for us, they are now at rest with God and his ultimate peace. It is hard to lose someone you love, but understand that if they know God, they will have eternal peace and nothing compares to that.

You should go see her. If you are a minor, ask your parents to take you. Be upfront and honest with how you feel and if the are reasonable, I am sure they will take you. Or pick up the phone and talk to your aunt and let her know how much she is loved and that you are going to miss her. People that are dying are sometimes avoided like the plaque. No one knows what to say or what to do so they avoid the situation completely. She knows she is dying. I would bet anything she would love someone to really talk to. Not polite chit-chat, but a real heartfelt conversation.

Answer 5

Five Stages Of Grief

Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer
.
Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Grief And Stress
During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.

Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.

Recovering From Grief
Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get exercise and rest.

Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.

Answer 6

I watched my mom die of cancer and she was in my arms when she passed its very hard and my family shut me out of it tried to take control because im young well I put my foot down and well just say I did and said what I had to do. so be strong because your aunt needs you to be strong and spend as much time as you can with her when she is in the mood for company. ok god bless her and you.

Answer 7

Hi....you need to express your feelings to your family that you want to see her as much as possible and this is important to you...that you want to spend time with her. If you are this close to her, it will be even harder for you when she is gone. Trust me, my brother died of cancer and I wish so much for more time with him. Bless you and your family.

Answer 8

Dont worry. U dont lose your heart. I will pray for ur aunt. Its curable. No more fear. Now few ways to heal cancer. For more details pls visit this link for cancer

Answer 9

what are you asking - go to add details - write the question and i will re-answer

Answer 10

pray and God will help u with anything