Am I ruined forever?

Question

tired to join an organization not too long ago, an organization I had longed to be a part of,and got accepted, but didn't go on to fully become a member :( I know bummer.Well anyways, so a few months go by and I meet this guy, I mean he's handome, smart, a prominent leader, but he was three years younger than I plus he happened to be the brother and best friend of one of the members of the the organiztion I almost joined. We started talking, and there was some chemistry, but not enough to feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with him,(if you catch my drift)so he starts calling me late hours of the night, he invited me over, we got drunk, and had sex, I felt some guilt but we talked it over and he assured me that there was nothing to feel guilty about, he wasn't involved with anyone in the organization and everything between us would be only between us, so a few months go by, and we really didn't talk that much but we hooked up again, and I called him, he called me afterwards

Additional Details

3 minutes ago
(sorry for the long details) but yeah we were talking and I told him that I didn't want anyone to know about our sexual realtionship, I told him this because I didn't want people to think that I was a **** and put me in that category, and plus I told him that I might want to one day try to rejoin again, and he was like well, we do have a relationship, and in the midst of everything he was accusing me of playing on his phone, and all this stuff, but yet we got intimate, and we talked that night and he told me he thought I try to hard, and he started playing footsies, but then a few weeks goes by and I call to see if I left something at his house and he gets upset and tells me to never call him again and he'll tell everyone about our relationship, so now when I run into him, he doesn't speak, and the members sort of shun me as well,my question did I do anything wrong in your opinion and should I rejoin even though I might run into the same people, and why do you think he acted the way?

Additional Details

58 minutes ago
What was really crazy...is the fact that after he threatened me and told me not too call him anymore, his best friend calls me out the clear blue asking me to come to one of his events..and I'm thinking oh yeah" somthing is up..

F.Y.I. his best friend is a girl, not a guy.

Answer 1

Well coming from someone who has been in a situation like this before, I think that the only problem was you being human. You acted on your sexual traits and -he- isn't mature enough to keep his mouth shut. Men like to brag to other men about their sexual conquests because we are in an eternal pissing contest.

Men will like women but have a sexual part of the persona that likes women to stay around and be very loyal. If you fail their "test", they seem to dislike you in sight of being betrayed.

What I suggest is that you forget he even exist and forget that event in your life all together. Another strategy is to realize that you are a biological organism, so the mating part of that was an experience that you will now hold to make you wiser. Forget it is a big deal, it isn't.

As far as the organization goes, find something else within a positive light. I never joined a fraternity because I am a Deist and I also have strict moral values.

Years from now you'll realize that this "event" was a learning process to alert red flags in the future.
:-D

Answer 2

It could be a set up, sure (this oddly coincidental call out of the blue), or it could merely be his reaction to the fact that you hurt his feelings by making involvement with him sound dirty and potentially damaging to your induction into some organization (where apparently all of its membership try to pretend they're not human). He may have been offended...I would've been. Still, you're right to be skeptical of that phone invitation.

Answer 3

First off, you should not have slept with the guy. The way society is, you have to guard your chastity otherwise it can be used against you.

We need more info on the type of organization you've joined. Is it church-related? If yes, I can see how you sleeping that person may tarnish your reputation. Why do you want to be part of that organization? Is it essential to the narrative that you are basing your life on? Why are you so dependent on this person anyhow?

I've dealt with these types of situations before. If you need more guidance, please email directly.