Boyfriend of 6.5 Years Left out of no where?

Question

One week we were talking about marriage & Family then three days later we had a silly arguemnt & he says he doesnt know what he wants and he isnt happy. He says he still loves me but is not happy and needed to stay away from the house for a while. he was gone for a day staying with his dad when he came home he said he was still confused and just needed another night to think and he would be back the next day. He never came home and didnt answer my phone calls or called. its all so confusing we have been together for 6.5 years and from one day to the next its over. we have a home together and i am going to move out tomomorow i dont know what to do i love him so much but he obviously doesnt care anymore cause he hasnt even called. this is just not like him at all so I have been confused and heartbroken. why did he do this? Was he scared or could he really fall out of love from one day to the next? I miss him so much but feel pathetic cause he hasnt called meaning he doesnt miss me,right?

Answer 1

Hang in there and wait a little longer for your boyfriend to respond.

I can't explain why he hasn't called, but I can say, your last question:

".....he hasn't called meaning he doesn't miss me,right?"

is not necessarily true. Guys sometimes have a very difficult time communicating, especially to their wives and girlfriends. Unfortunately, when the guy does not communicate, the woman receives the message "he doesn't love me anymore", which is usually completely off the mark.

6.5 years is a lot of invested time. He may need a few days to think through some issues. I suspect his comment that he isn't happy is about the big picture of his life; job, school, life plans, family plans, all rolled into one picture. This is not necessarily about his relationship with you. You might be receiving the wrong message.

When he does call back, don't question him about "do you love me?" (you already know that answer). Instead, ask if he would be willing to talk to you about his plans for something that you know has been on his mind for a while (job, school, house, whatever). It has to be a subject that he can easily relate to and will allow you to engage him in a non-threatening and an unemotional conversation. Your job, is to allow him to paint the big picture (verbally) without challenging him. When he is done painting that big picture, then he will feel like things are under control again, and for many guys, that is happiness.

I’m not a professional counselor. I speak from experience. At one time in my life, I was just like your boyfriend.

Good luck

Answer 2

My brother went through an 7 year relationship about to get married in a month.
Then all of a sudden it was over too.
It wasn't just a "hey I love you one day and I don't love you the next." He has probably been feeling like this for awhile and didn't have the courage to talk to you about what he was thinking probably of fear of hurting you or the fear of losing your security.
He told you he needed time so the best thing you can do at this moment is leave him alone. Prepare yourself for the possibility of a break up. It not that he doesn't care neither you or me can assume what he is thinking. It just seems like he scared to call or answer your calls because he doesn't want to deal with drama.
Its hard to imagine 6 years or more and than a break up. It does happen though. More than you think.

Be strong and don't let him lead you on a small string.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

This seems to be the latest trend. When someone wants to dump you they do a disappearing act.

They don't call or write, email or spend face time for weeks on end.

Then all of a sudden they don't want to ever see you again, and they refuse to tell you why. They break up by text message, email or some other cruel and impersonal message.

Your boyfriend is a coward, evasive, dishonest and he has been cruel to you.

If he can do this to you now, you deserve better. He neither respects nor trusts you to know what his problems are and he refuses to tell you what's bugging him.

If you get back together again he will do this or much worse again.

If I were you, just leave him behind and find someone who adores you, and wants nothing more than to share their life and make you happy.

Selfish, inconsiderate people should never have relationships or pets. They're damned irresponsible.

Answer 4

Take this time to reflect on your relationship to see if you really are ready for marriage. Just give him the space he wants, the worse thing you can do is crowd him. If you are meant to be married it will happen. So just focus others things right if he comes back great if not move on. Please don't waste your life waiting on him because he may never come back. If in the next few weeks he does not call just move. Don't stop living your life go out with friends and family.Learn from this and never move in with a guy without marriage. Live Life Love Life

Answer 5

Well here's what happened , you guys were doing real good hanging out and everything and you started to talk about serious stuff like marriage and family and the hole nine yards , right , well it's common for a younger guy and somtimes just a single guy to get overwhelmed and freak out about really settling down, it happens a lot and it's not you I'm sure your great and you do deserve better than someone who is going to puss out. If he wasn't ready he should have just been honest. He will either realize he really loves you and come back or just be overwhelmed puss and stay gone. He'll probably come back though. Good Luck

Answer 6

Ok, Well your boyfriend might miss you, but the fact of the matter is, where is the effort in making this relationship come back together.Its true, people can fall out of love, but 6.5 years seems to be a while. He might have got scared, and was afraid to talk to you because he didn't want to get "sucked into something" again. ;) im available by the way. Oh i am just kidding. Try to talk to him.

Answer 7

When someone acts all of sudden shady.That means his looking for a excuse to be with other person or have the chance to explore his options of being single..is like a safe way to get out without the drama.BE WARE he might get HIV next time you are with him//
that screams warning flags.For him to act way diff than he did before..something is in the closet..

Answer 8

He was probably thinking about this for a while, but it's all new to you. I would not move out, he left, not you. He sounds like he is trying to sort things out and that's why he is not calling. I know this hurts, I've been there too. Give it a few weeks and see if he comes to his senses.

Answer 9

Give him some more time. He obviously has a problem he needs to work out. You can't force this. When he does contact you, you definitely need to talk about it. After that, you'll know what to do. But in the meantime, don't do anything rash.

Answer 10

this is your oldschool cheater psychout, see your bf has been seeing someone else you dont know this because your blinded by the one thing thats supposed to be on your side "love" so now instead of you knowing what the hell is going on your all confused, betcha 10 to 1 that hes got some girl hes with and if you leave and check up on him when hes not expecting it you'll see what i mean.