is it okay to feel this way???

Question

Okay here's my story (short version) dad cheated on mom several times mom forgave then finally after ten years of hell he abandon her for this ugly witch/my sister was nine and he also treated her like crap and i was 5 and daddy's lil girl and we use to see him once every year and get a call from him twice a month now am 14 and my sis is 18 mom got remarried and i have a six year old bro any way i haven't seen in two years my sis and i were suppose to go visit him in colorado were he lives but instead i went to visit my cousins that are like sisters to me in texas and my sister went to colorado cuz my dad promised her to buy her a car and now she's over there wat pisses me off out all of this is that we both had agreed on hating for the rest of our lives but know she's all like oh i can now say that i love my dad and the only reason she's saying that is cuz he taught her how to drive cuz the smart one didn't know how and he's kissing her *** buying her all kinds of things and that's bull cuz he's not doing it cuz he loves her but so that he can finally sleep at night cuz when he found out my mom was pregant of her he wanted her to abort expect my mom said no and as a way to repair an unrepair pain he's caused us

and he use to beat my mom in front of us and tried to choke my sister when he found out she rated him out to my mom for cheating

Answer 1

Have you ever made a big mistake and wanted to make up for it. Your sister can not help how she feel , just as you can not help that you are still angry at him . so what if our sister wants a dad that will make her feel wanted , and you do not so why should you care . its not fair f you to want your sister to stay angry just because you want her to . Obviously you have reason to be mad . Hope your mom has gotten on with her life and is happy now ,

Answer 2

Your sister needed the wheels and your dad felt guilty.
You can go for the same deal when you can drive at 16.

Listen, you can't just hate your dad.
He has had some hard lessons to learn.
Your parents grew apart and finally had to call it quits and moved on. Your dad got reestablished elsewhere, and in the meantime sent money to help your mom keep a roof over your heads, clothes on your backs and food on the table. Even if he has been out of pocket, he still loves you.

I would suggest being the next one to go up to Colorado and get to know your dad all over again, and it will be better this time.
What you are missing out on is the opportunity for him to show you two a good time before you go to college/work.
You are also missing out on the possibilities of TWO christmases and TWO birthday celebrations each year for each of you.

Answer 3

It's understandable that you feel this way but your anger is directed at the wrong person. Perhaps your sister is trying to rekindle a long-lost relationship. Perhaps your Dad truly regrets the past. Perhaps both are full of sh*t.

Either way, you can't change what other people do or how they feel. Only what you do and feel.

Examine why you are feeling this way. Have a little pity-party if you need to. But then find a way to let it go. This kind of anger and resentment does nothing for your health and sense of well-being.

Answer 4

it was all your parents problem not yours, get over it , You can love them both