I started dating this guy since I was16and I believe thats when I lost my personality.As years went by, he started putting me down...telling me I dress , act and look like a child...I do have a baby face but I happen to be proud of it....Then I have a parent who likes to tell me what to do...like what kind of undies I should wear ( I love thongs and she doesnt so she always advices me to wear undies that reach my belly button! )...how to do my hair...she prefers when I wear it down....she hates when I wear spaghetti straps all the time..I like to dress casually..I dont like to overdo anything unless im going out somewhere important...she hates the fact that I dont like earings...I mean hellooo?? I thought i was suppose to grow and find myself! My bf is 5 yrs older than me so he was way more mature when we met ..Thus, I havent really gotten a chance to mature .We're still together and he criticizes me and I feel myself beggining to conform! I feel trapped ..Help!
2007-08-28 14:23:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to dump the boyfriend because the whole point of having one or getting married is to find someone who fills your needs while you fill his and hes doing the opposite.
Move out if your still living at home and live on your own with no boyfriend and no parents telling you what to do. Before you get into a relationship find out who you are and what you like and dont let anyone abuse you like youve been allowing. Dont talk to your parents unless they can be supportive.
You dont have to live like this or put up with it. If you do you only have yourself to blame.
2007-08-28 14:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is the thing about most older people they like to control much younger people all the time. I mean everyone has to go through that period of finding themselves and their own style and likes and dislikes. Your mom and the boyfriend are only doing what some older folks do. Since they feel they have your "best" interest at heart they think they can tell you what you should do and how you should be. But in the reality of it all I say that you put the boyfriend on a break or just tell him up front that hey this is who I am and its not going to change. Same with the mom, she has to realize you are an adult now and have a right to how you wish to dress and what not to wear. You are no longer her little girl even if she still sees you that way.
2007-08-28 14:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, even though you are very young (beautiful age), you are falling into a tell you what to do, what to wear, what to say, when to smile, how to walk, etc,etc.etc. wake up girl!!!
they're abusing you, you're allowing to become a vegetable!!!!!
Get rid of that stupid bf of yours, you will never grow as a person when you have an idiot on your side, trust me!! I am not kidding you. You need someone who's smart, fair and a true partner not a Boss figure, you will not be happy in this kind or relationship.
Little by little, focus on your maturity, read a lot, feed your brain with books and school, be somebody, refuse the abuse around you!!! untrapped girl!!! you have the scissors!!!!!
2007-09-01 07:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, you are being suppressed. Your world is caving in on you. You need to break away and get out on your own.
Break it off with the BF... between all the insults, controlling and manipulation it really sounds like his next move is to separate you from all the rest of your support network and start in on abusing you in earnest. They like to snag younger women and suppress their development.
Your parents only have a say in how you run your life for as long as you live with them.
I would suggest getting a job, getting out of the parents' house... consider attending college in another town. You would have the ability to learn more about yourself and the world. You are young and you don't have to settle for this crap.
2007-08-28 15:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away from everyone for a lil while! Take a trip..tell o one wher u r going just write a not wher they all will see it saying i have to take a trip..be back in a week or two..take some time to find yourself..just tell one closest frined where u are so there is no worries..take time off u need it!
2007-08-28 14:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by pugglelover1207 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BREAK AWAY FROM THEM!!!!! get out and be you! do what you want and forget abou it, just tell them to shut up. you have to live your own life, its too short foryou to be living theirs for them. just scream out "IM NOT YOU!" and slam the door like a kid. if you don't break away, you're going to go insane. trust me, i'm trapped adn i'm still a teenager, i don't ahve the option to leave and be me completly, i'd give anything to be your age and be able to do things my way. just take a deep breath, and jump over the fence that's keeping you from your life.
2007-08-28 15:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by 2shy2talk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think you have to break up with your boyfriend and ask him for space because if he really loves you, he should accept you as who and what you are........... besides, there are a lots of guys better than him.......... don't let him control you like a robot so enjoy your life without him and be comfortable whatever you desire.............
2007-08-28 15:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Beverly Anne N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋