He broke up with me almost 3 months ago because he found someone else. I was out of town and when i got back we started seeing eachother again. Now we are back together. But I dont want to tell my mom or family because they hate him so much. At one point I even changed by cell # to try to forget about him but I dont want to and I want to be with him. He is getting mad that i'm not telling my family or letting him hang out with my friends. So what should I do?!! I'm lost.. I'm 18 yrs old about to move out
2007-08-28 14:04:25 · 14 answers · asked by Hannahbanana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi
You know something Hon..Sometimes we listen to our instincts more than we realize..
Is it possible you're not telling your family, just in case he pulls this nonsense again..
What's to say that he's not going to break up with you again?
You're eighteen years old now, you're a young woman with your entire life ahead of you..You're going to have a chance to meet many more young men in your life.
Don't just settle for anyone, just to say you have a boyfriend..
Never just settle!
You don't want to have someone in your life, who's going to breakup with you just as soon as he looks at another girl..
You're old enough to make decisions in your life..Just take your time, and try to make the right ones..
If you really don't want this guy in your life..tell him in a nice way, that you're really not ready for a commitment with him..
There's a reason why you're keeping your relationship with him a secret.. You're still not sure of him!
Just think about what you're doing Hon..
Then get on with your life!
Good Luck!
2007-08-28 14:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy dropped you cold-turkey to chase some other piece-of-tail without so much as an apology. He is back bugging you because it didn't work out.
He will drop you again. He is a USER.
Quit being so easy for him!
He is mad that you will not alienate your family and friends to be his toy.
Drop him! He doesn't deserve you.
Under NO circumstances should you move in with this twerp!
"Playing house" is not how things work in real life. You need a real commitment from a guy before thinking about moving in with him... we're talking engagement ring and a wedding date.
Don't sell yourself short. Get the whole package.
Do you know that, in most states, if you have lived with a guy for "X-amount" of time, you can be considered "common law married"? The problem with that is that he can leave you flat-footed with ALL the bills and you would be required to pay them all. You would need a divorce just to start getting things straight.
Don't do this unless you can get the whole package... all the protections and benefits.
2007-08-28 21:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The better question to ask is what's so great about him that he deserves a second chance with you! However, that's neither here nor there, so let's move on...if you're eighteen, you're an adult, and can make your own decisions. Your people are going to have to take a step back and let this happen, no matter how they personally feel. Do you, honey. They'll come around. But still, you need to be asking yourself do you really want to be with somebody who dumped you because they thought the grass was greener on the other side. Don't be a revolving door for this guy. I don't even know you, and I know you deserve better than that.
2007-08-28 21:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by bratpackfan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you care about someone, no matter how much they've screwed up, you always find it in your heart to forgive them. What you also need to remember is that you don't history to repeat itself. If you can sit down and really have some heart to heart conversations with your BF make sure he's really going to be there for you and stick around. You need to also make logical decisions for yourself on how this relationship is going to work in the future. You guys are 18 years old, you are still very young, he is not the one and only boy for you. Only you know what's best for you and it is up to when you want to tell you're family about him. He has no right to tell you that he wants you to let him back into your life. He's the one that screwed up, let him earn it. He should be lucky you took him back. Stand up for yourself, make some decisions on your own.
2007-08-28 21:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Re-think. Re-think at this age in your life you think you got it going on and you know everything. Been there did it too. Only to find out it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. If people tell you not to go with the guy the more you will want to go. The choice is yours but I would do the opposite of what you are doing only because of experience.
I guarantee there is someone who will care for you and respect you. Think on this, if he did something to hurt you and forgiveness is good but he knows he has an edge over you and will certainly take advantage of you at his will especially when you are vulnerable and away from your family. Just do this one thing if you do decide to go DO NOT mess up your credit!!! To be for warned is to be for told!
2007-08-28 21:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to keep it a secret, then it is a bad relationship and you need to break up for good. Lots of couples get back together after a bad break up...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But keeping it a secret is wrong and dangerous. It shows you don't trust your family, and when your family finds out your secret they will not trust you anymore either.
2007-08-28 21:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to understand that it was him that called it off and cheated - of course your family are going to be upset that your back together. They want to see you with someone nice and who cares about you. Its going to take a while for them to trust him again.
2007-08-28 21:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by kiwichickie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know you shouldnt be with him, so you are hidding him. You are not telling your family cause he will be leaving you again, sooner or later, for another girl. They can also see things that you may be blind to, that are not good attributes in him. Think about why you want to be with him? Is it really in your best interest? He has every right to be upset about this.
2007-08-28 21:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by T I 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HONESTEY IS THE BEST POLICY. be up front to your family and your frinds. tell them they don't have to like him or like the relationship, but they do need to resepct your decisions in life.you are an 18 year old and you need to make your own choices and mistakes before you can grow up to be responsible. i hope this helps you.
2007-08-28 21:13:38 · answer #9 · answered by chatiry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think thats the right question... ask yourself, why did you go back to a guy who left you for someone else? he obviously thinks that there is a chance there are better people out there for him... gosh, you need to look at the relationship first, not the fact you need to tell people./
2007-08-28 21:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋