What should I do?

Question

I have a good job making good money. I am able to pay most of my bills by myself, however, I can't really afford anything extra that I want, like new clothes and cable. The reason is because I am always lending my sister money. She has 3 children, and no job. She uses the money she gets for my nieces and nephew to pay bills. That money is not sufficient enough for all four of them to live on, because she is always asking to borrow money from me to get food, or for electricity. At first, I was glad to help, because they are my family, and I don't want my nieces and nephew to go hungry. But she borrows money from me everytime I get my paycheck, or any money, and this has been going on for almost a year. She pays me back, but she turns around and borrows again, so it's like I never really get my money back. And now I'm tired of it, because I feel that she is just as healthy as I am, and can work just like I do. The difference is that it would take more effort on her part because she has

.....children, and i don't. We even had a little falling out over this. She said she was going to stop borrowing my money, and I said I was going to stop lending it. Nothing's changed. What should I do? Stop lending her money and tell her to get off her but and get a job, or continue lending so that the children don't suffer?

Answer 1

Your sister is using you. No doubt about it. Suggest telling her that she has a month to find work, or no more money. When she is working, you can still help out some financially. Don't let yourself go broke because she won't find a job.

Answer 2

You need to stop feeding this behavior and quit being a doormat... or a bank.

Next time she shows up to mooch from you, you tell her "I'm sorry, I've had some unusual expenses this month, so I can only give you $20." You get the idea, each time she shows up for money, the amount you can give her is less and less. You are showing intent to help her, but you just don't have the money to give.

Bottom line is, if your sister cannot pay her bills, she needs to cut back on expenses and apply for Welfare and go to the local area Assistance Ministries for some money to help pay bills. She needs to get herself a job. TELL HER THAT!

Believe me, your nieces and nephews will NOT go hungry... that is just an excuse... more of a threat to induce guilt, actually. Quit being played.

It isn't up to you to support the whole family when you are barely scraping by yourself. You need money to handle emergencies yourself.
Every time you pull some money away from her, you bank it instead... even if you just put some cash in a little lock-box. You will be surprised at how quickly a little control on your part will add up to major $$$. Feel good about it.
Feel good about forcing her to take responsibility for herself and her own family.

Answer 3

You are actually crippling her by continueing to help her out. I realize she is your sister and you feel this is something you have to do, but maybe if you did stop she would realize she has no choice but to get a job. I mean after all you work for your money and so should she. Hell I have worked since I was 16 years old. Don't feel bad for not helping her out anymore let her stand on her own two feet its time she does that. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Is this worth your relationship with your sister. Sit down and talk about it don't argue or wait for an argument to settle this . My opinion and what I live by is money can be the root to all evil if I let it. I have four sister's and a brother and I would be damned if I would allow it to ruin any relationship I have with anyone. Too many people put to much on money. Its valuable but not more valuable than my sister's or brother.

Answer 5

tell her to stop living off all of our tax dollars. stop popping out welfare babies.