how to prove im not cheating!?

Question

my boyfriend constantly thinks ive cheated on him and i talk to other guys and i dont at all i have completely cut out everybody in my life for him so he can trust me again i understand his reasons ive been promiscious in the past and yes i have cheated on bfs in my past but that was my past and with him he doesnt give me reasons to cheat.. i went to india for about 3 months and my dad past away and i vowed to change and not be the person i was in the past and now im older and i know i was stupid back then and that person isnt me and i never wanna be that person again, but now he thinks im cheating on him and i tried talking to him but he wont listen and all we do is fight and im tired of it cuz im the one crying and going crazy but ive been 100% loyal to him this entire time and he still accuses me how can i prove to him that i havent cheated? is taking a lie detector test a good idea? all i want is for him to trust me and believe in me that ive changed how do i do that please help

he has already introduced me to his parents and his family if he didnt trust me at all why is he introducing me to his family?

Answer 1

Trust is earned. If you are ALWAYS honest you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prove you are being loyal. He knows your past and he doesn't see that you have changed.

Please do not spend you life trying to convince him. You may never be able to.

It is not worth fighting over and a lie detector test will not make any difference. He will merely thing that you cheat on him again in the near future the first time to you go away for a weekend or talk to another guy. You don't want to live like this do you?

Maybe it is time you move on from what sounds like a fairly negative relationship and start fresh. You might find someone new who doesnt come into the relationship already doubting your fidelity.

I'm sorry about this and I do hope you find happiness.

Answer 3

OK.... There's allot to this one!

Forgive me, but I'm going to be brutally honest here and don't intend to hurt your feelings.

First, you should have never told him about your past. What's done may be done, but there's an old saying out there, once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. This may not be the case with you, but when you deal with him, take that into consideration.

I'm sorry, but, the lie detector is just a plain stupid idea. Who have you ever know that has taken one? So, stop acting like an adolescent.

Taking a vow to be different is admirable, but without changing your whole outlook, it'll be forgotten. Actions breed satisfaction. Prove by your actions that you've changed. Everyone can talk a good line, talk is cheap.....doing is what brings you the rewards.

Try talking with him about this. Be calm, cool, collected, and listen to him. Do this with the attitude that you're going to find a solution to this problem together, not rehash everything trying to justify your own feelings.

Once the smoke has cleared, and he settles down during this conversation, you'll learn the root of the problem and be able to find a solution. If not, I'm afraid you might want to be prepared to walk away and try with someone new....in a respectable amount of time.

Good luck to you.... I hope it all works out.

Answer 4

You can't prove a negative. In otherwords you can't prove that you have NOT done something, only he can prove that you have IF IT HAPPENED. So your bf is the one who is wrong accusing you of something you haven't done. Maybe you have been letting him get away with it out of guilty feelings stemming from your past behaviour, but as you already said that is no longer you, so he is the one doing you wrong with his acusations, not you.

Now what you do about it from here is very important. His constant accusations are obviously causing you a great deal of stress. I can imagine just how much it must weigh on you being accused of something you haven't done. He is poisoning his relationship with you, & he needs to know one way or the other that if he keeps up this toxic behaviour he is going to be the root cause of the very thing he seems to fear the most, the end of his relationship with you.

On the other hand he must be getting some kind of pay-off by making these accusations. Everytime he accuses you, don't you bend over backwards to prove your love for him? After you have an arguement about it, isn't there the fabulous make-up sex? Whatever, I'll bet he gets a gratuitous feeling evrytime he goes down that road with you one way or the other.

You can break this cycle by no longer participating in his game. Next time he accuses you unfairly just tell him, "OK, you no longer trust me, it's OVER!" & walk away.
By staying & answering to his accusations you are unwittingly punishing yourself for your past behaviour. The guy(s) you hurt are no longer around to get you back for what you did, so you let HIM do it. But he doesn't have the right, & you don't deserve to be punished any longer either. You made the necessary changes in your life for the better. GOOD FOR YOU! Now reward yourself with your own forgiveness, & don't give anybody else the right to punish you either. OK?
Now go out there & find a guy who trusts you & deserves to enjoy the company of the new & improved you. :-)

Answer 5

Sorry dear, but this guy is a waste of your time. Sounds like you've done a lot of growing up and living down your past. It's time to check into his past, I'll bet he's had other relationships where he couldn't trust either. Does he trust his mother? If not run for the hills....
You gave up your friends for him???Not good. That is the number one sign of a control freak and he has you begging for his trust, that is number two.
My advice to you is step back and look at this from the outside. I know it's hard because your heart is wrapped up in this guy but is this what your Dad would have wanted for you? I'll bet not, he wants his girl to be loved and happy. If he were around he would have kicked this guy to the curb already.
One other thing, take some time for yourself it is very hard to lose a parent so young. Sometimes we are looking for a replacement and sometimes we are just lonely. You have made huge improvements on who you are don't let this bozo wreck it.

Answer 6

Your going to take the lie detector test and he will believe you for a couple of days and sooner or later he will need more and more proof.
Really all he needs to do is try and if he don't listen then let him get crazy over him not trusting you. I know its frustrating but really there is nothing you can do to make it better It has to come from him.
I hope you realize soon that you shouldn't take sh*t from him over ur past.
Learn that you shouldn't be so honest with the bfs I admit there is just some things you don't say to avoid this kind of problems!

Answer 7

Unfortunately there is nothing short of becoming a nun to prove to him that you have been faithful. Trust is something that has to be earned and if he knows you've cheated in the past he has no reason to trust you. Now if the situation is you told him upfront about your past, then he needs to get over it. However if you have kept that information from him until now then you will never be able to completely get him to trust you. The only answer I can give is to suggest couples councilling. Sometimes a person who is outside of the situation might be able to help. Good Luck

Answer 8

Hey hun, obviously this guy is not going to believe you. Regardless to if you take a lie detector test or not. He already has it in his mind that you are a cheater. In a relationship you have to have trust, if you don't have trust then that will be the downfall in the relationship. What you have to understand and accept is that either way you look at it he is always going to have doubts about you, regardless to if you are being faithful or not. If he tells you that he believes you more then likely he will be lying, because this negative thought will always be in the back of his mind. I think you have to make a decision if you want to be with him or not.

Answer 9

The only time he should lose trust in you is when he can prove that you are indeed cheating. There are plenty of men out there that would trust you for who you are. He obviously doesn't know you as well as he needs to. He may never know you. Some men just don't get it. He probably has insecurity issues. I've seen this a few times with friends of mine. They pretty much give up their entire lives for a man that doesn't even respect them. That's really what it boils down to.

You're giving up everything for him and he can't even simply give you the benefit of the doubt. He's an insecure sociopath. There are several better men out there for you. You obviously love him. He obviously loves the relationship. If he truely loved you, he would care about your comfort before his own and keep his foolish worries to himself.

Answer 10

You should tell him exactly what you said.
He doesn't give you a reason to cheat. Tell him how happy you are being with him.
Let him know, that he needs to trust you, it will ruin your relationship if he doesn't start. If you feel you should take a lie detector test to prove to him you haven't cheated, then go for it. He'll see that you've been faithful, and give him a warning that if he doesn't at least try to trust you its going to end your relationship.
Best of Luck!

Answer 11

You shouldn't be rearranging your life just to suit him...

He should learn how to NOT to be insecured. If you are not doing anything wrong then dont react like you are. Meaning, shower him with all you attention & love but stop trying to prove to him that you are not cheating.

If there is NO trust in a relationship then it wont go far... he has to trust you... and on your part, accept the fact that maybe he is NOT ready to trust you. Dont fight all the time because it will ruin your relationship. Instead, do something productive together... engage in sports or have acommon hobby so that it can divert your attention.