ok so my gf broke up with me about a month ago. im positive theres no chance of us getting back together so thats not an issue. so i just have a couple ?'s for the masses to answer.
why when i go out, im looking over my shoulder for her like shes going to appear out of nowhere?........she dont even live near me.
why do i have thoughts about her and i know we are done? no chance of a get together. it is what it is, i should just let it go. but i just find myself having random thoughts about her whenever.
also, why when i go anywhere i find myself comparing other women to her? in my mind im always like, "she aint nothing compared to her", "shes better looking". u know the usual stuff.
why do i have thoughts like this?..........opinions please.
thank you
2007-08-28 10:13:02 · 8 answers · asked by btk200569 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let go and move on ... you are just out of the comfort zone you obviously had with your ex. Their is only one constant in life and that is change. You are just fighting the obvious.
If you loved her then remember ...
"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
Don't resent her or obsesses about her. Just smile and wish her happiness in her life and move on ... you'll find someone out there that will reciprocate your feelings.
P.S. It is a fact that as time passes EVERYONE looks back at exs with rose colored glasses, remember back to when you were a couple ... did you feel this strong about her then? If not, it is just a case of you building up an ex which is a common occurrence.
2007-08-28 10:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by eric 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love will throw rationality out the window. We guys don't deal with breakups nearly as well as most women do. We're good at acting like we can get over a breakup easily; but its all a facade.
You were either infatuated with her or truly love her. At least you're man enough to talk about it. Women seek support after a breakup, they'll get closer with their friends, and family. In general, girls have more friends than guys. They all run to one another. A typical guy goes out to the tavern and gets sloshed.
My point is getting support (like this) will help; but the pain will only subside with time, unfortunately though, will probably never leave.
Then again, in the long run, it may be a good thing, though I know that makes no sense whatsoever to you right now. Going through pain can define one, and allow them to better themselves. Double-edged sword. I've gone through absolute hell that was constant for years; and I recently emerged from a terrible reality I was living; I look back at my hell I'm out of and I am glad it all happened. I've learned so much, but the pain is still there, years later.
To add rambling, I'm still not completely over my first girlfriend, from 7 years ago, she is the one I measure all other girls against; I've moved on, but there is still emotion there. We only get 3 great girls in our life, so one said, catch the next one (6.6 billion people, there is that girl out there). Hope you can move on, one way or another. Good luck.
2007-08-28 10:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by ajm48786 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you still like her. somehow i think you've convinced yourself that you two can't get back together. but i think you're still hopeful. despite what you may think you believe, unconsciously you want to be around her again.
on the other hand, i think you're just too used to having her around you. the things she does, the way she talks and everything else that concerns her; you tend to look for those qualities of her in other people. simply put, you're trying to replace her.
lastly, i think you need to wait. it's been a month, sure. but you might just end up hurting yourself or somebody else if you go on finding someone when you're still stuck up on her.
2007-08-28 10:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by sally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're having these thoughst because you arent over her yet, sure you know that you wont be getting back together and your okay with that but its still gonna take tiem before you stopo thinking baout her, you're used to thinking abotu her and so thoughts about her come naturally to you.
with the whole comparing thing, well my guess is that she was a pretty decent girl and so you compare her to others because you remeber how good she was and you know that she was good and so you compare her to others because you want another like her. ( i could be wrong but thats just want i think)
<3lydia
2007-08-28 10:18:47 · answer #4 · answered by lydia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously still have feelings 4 her and i would say 2 talk 2 her about it and if that doesnt work out than you sould do other activities to keep u distracted!
lots of luck!
2007-08-28 10:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by kp girl 15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's obvious, you really really liked her.
It's gonna take time to get over.
But you shouldn't give up if you know you want to be with her.
Don't give up trying.
2007-08-28 10:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR NOT OVER HER YET: AND YOU ARE FOOLING YOUR SELF IF YOU THINK YOU ARE. Just like any wound the heart needs time to heal.
2007-08-28 10:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by zipper 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u love her
2007-08-28 10:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋