2007-08-28 10:00:26 · 61 answers · asked by asal.bano 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Because daughter-in-laws are jealous of their husband's mom. I was told this to my face. She wished she had my life. Those were her words.
Because their families come first, been told this to my face, and husband's after that (maybe).
Because they want to control their husband's and take them out of their own families and refuse to try and become part of their new extended family.
Because the wife's are selfish.
Personally I had a wonderful mother-in-law and was never once threatened by her. But on the other hand I knew she was older and wiser than myself and I listened to her advice. I might not follow it but I still listened. I would of NEVER thought to be disrespectful to my husband's parents. Even IF I disliked them I would of kept my distance but NEVER, NEVER disrespected them and CERTAINLY would not come between him and his parents. This is something I was taught by my parents growing up. In turn this is something my son has learned in dealing with his difficult controlling in-laws.
2007-08-29 04:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Let's face it, women are nuts and emotional. (Women you know we are, so don't be whiny... it's just how we are put together... we are the emotional gender...Revenge and Love are two of the most difficult things for us to control...)
There are two explainations for this question. I have seen a situation where the daughter in law was horrible AND a situation where the mother in law was a piece of work.
First the daugher in law: She is having to compete with a mom. And if her new husband is a moma's boy...UGH. So if she is the insecure type, she might be tempted to be hateful.
Second the mother in law: She is 'loosing' her baby, so she might think. And if she is the crazy, overbearing, clingy type mom, she might be very hateful to the one stealing her child away.
Also, sometimes, people just don't like eachother! If the women are from drastically diffrent backgrounds they may not understand or respect the diffrences and may not want to work on them. Sometimes you have a mom who is too friendly, and tries to be mother to the new daughter and the daughter may resent this. Or you can have a daughter who is looking for a mom, and the mother may not be interested.
The thing I don't get is why this is still a problem?? I mean the daughter knows that she might get a mother in law when she marries and the mother knows she may get a daughter in law when her son marries...I don't get why there are still stories of mother and daughter in law hate...
2007-08-28 11:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is complex, as each person is different. Mostly, it is a competition thing, knowingly, or unknowingly. Both women love the same man, albeit differently, and a mother of course wants to protect her young and no one, (in her mind) can do it as well as she can. Very different cultures between the families exacerbate the situation usually.
Fathers have this same overprotective feeling toward daughters, almost to the point of aggression toward their boyfriends. It stems from love, but often goes overboard with criticism, hostility, and unwanted advice.
A thoughtful son or daughter in law will recognize this for what it is and show patience, while a thoughtful father in law and mother in law can recognize their inability to "let go" as being harmful rather than helpful. Both sides need to do their part. It CAN be done; many have managed to get along wonderfully with in laws....
2007-08-28 10:32:24 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not one of those daughter-in-laws you are talking about, but I do love my mother-in-law to pieces. She is such a good woman!
Most daughter-in-laws do not like their mother-in-laws because there are mother-in-laws who get involved in their marriages by wanting to control the marriage. Some mother-in-laws try to compete with their daughter-in-law. Or, mother-in-laws are just evil women that they just want to start trouble with the daughter-in-law. Also, daughter-in-law can also be jealous over their mother-in-law in some ways too.
I have to say this, before a husband marries his wife, make sure that they make it clear to his parents, that what ever goes on in the marriage, to stay out of it. Do this in a loving way. Because husbands and wives, have their own lives now and they need to fix their own problems.
2007-08-28 10:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because they have strong feelings for the same person...so it is normal to have disagreements, the secret for that relationship to work is to talk freely with no formalities both of them, the mother in law to respect the daughter in law, and the daughter in law never forget that is the mother of her love one
2007-09-05 01:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by staytrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far I don't have that problem. My daughter -in- Law and I get along great as well as me and My Mother- in- Law. I think those that have problems or those that keep wanting to nose in to the lives of there children, always telling them what they are doing wrong, what there spouse likes or dislikes, etc. That is so not any of us.
2007-09-04 07:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is a very strong word. I am sorry but, I do not agree with Wise Guy respect works both ways. No one looks to hate there mother in law. The problem starts where most Son's do not call or see there mother as much as the mother would like. The mother in law then blames the daughter in law as it is easier to blame her then to face the fact that the son is not living up to her standards. Take notice, the mother in laws that have there own life do not have issues with there daughter in laws.
Gary B:
You are certainly in tittled to your op ion. I don't understand why you are getting so upset. My statement is based on my mother in law and many others I know. The mother in laws who look to control and manipulate seem to call there daughter in laws jealous. Then again, if there son picked such a terrible woman for a wife maybe she is like the woman who raised him and that's why he picked her.
2007-08-29 05:11:33 · answer #7 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I can not say I hate my MIL and I known her for 4 years and not once she had told me she likes me or hates me but she respects me and I do the same.I would love to know my own MIL as my own mother is not living anymore. Your DIL sounds like she has some issues.Why don't you have a conversation about this and tell her that you would love to see your grandbaby more?.If I had a child,I would appreciate my own MIL to come over and take the baby out for the day so I can get chores and errans done.
2016-05-20 02:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother-in-law always try to control her. You have snatch her son away from her. Now the son of hers is not consulting her over anything, instead another woman is taking her place. She think she partly own you, because you are her son's wife. She is not helping you with the housework and you have to look after her, the kids and husband. I know you don't mind looking after the kids and husband but certainly not the MIL, for she is also a woman like you too.
2007-09-03 16:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by mako 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hate may be a bit strong but I think us daughter in laws get the impression that we are looked down on by our mother in laws. As if we are not good enough for their sons. Mother in laws tend to be overly critical, not accepting and needy. But I don't think these things mean you cannot have a decent relationship with your mother in law......it just takes time. Time for both women to find their new place in this relationship with one man.
2007-08-28 10:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by Jill S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't hate my mother in law but I did have a tough time with her in the beginning. She thought I should do everything just like her!
2007-09-03 03:05:26 · answer #11 · answered by happy@50 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋