This weekend, my boyfriend and I, and a couple of friends will be going on a small road trip to a city about 3 hours away to go to the lake. The plan from the beginning was that my boyfriend and I would drive together, while the rest of the group agreed to either ride together or make arrangements. One person going, Neil, had invited a lot of other friends and planned to ride with them. Now, his friends have said they are unable to go. Neil is very high-strung, which makes it hard to tolerate a 3-hour car ride. He has now volunteered himself to say that he will just ride with my boyfriend and I (I’m driving my car), because he knows I’ll say it’s ok. The deal is, it’s not ok. My boyfriend and I would like to drive down together alone, to avoid having to chauffer someone around, and to just be able to spend quality time together for a 3 day weekend.
So, my question is, when Neil calls to ask if he can ride with us (yes, he hasn’t even asked me yet), how’s the polite why to say no?
2007-08-28 09:39:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
"I'm sorry, but there just isn't going to be room for you" - since you are going on a road trip (with luggage, a cooler, etc.) that is believable. You don't need to say that it is his high-strung personality that there won't be room for.
2007-08-28 10:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by HooliganGrrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend has a friend who does the EXACT same thing all the time. Except instead of bieng high strung, he's really depressed and moody which is equally as annoying. I always end up saying yes because I don't want to come between the two of them, even though both my boyfriend and I are annoyed.
When he calls, I would just be honest. Tell him that you and your boyfriend really would like and need some time to yourselves and have been looking forward to driving down together and bieng with one another alone. Make sure he knows it's nothing against him but rather that you just want to have some alone time with your guy. Can he please find a ride with someone else?
Another way to combat this, and I know it sucks, but if you can find somebody else to give him a ride ( I know it's not up to you but it might just save time and emotions) and when he calls say: Actually, so and so has room in his/her car and told me he/she would take you (or get that person to call him before Niel calls you). That way he has no reason to really want to drive with you guys.
2007-08-28 16:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say the truth, when he asks you. Politely say that you would like to spend some quality time alone with your bf this weekend and that though you would have liked Neil's company some other time, this weekend consists of plans for just you and your bf. However, if he never gets to asking you, mention this to one of your mutual friends and emphasize how much you are looking forward to spending some alone time so the message can be passed along.
2007-08-28 16:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I would say is "Sorry, but I only planned on having one other person in the car, and my boyfriend and I would like to use the ride there to spend some quality time together."
2007-08-28 16:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Ell 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you and your boyfriend had planned to drive alone for some time together and that he would have to find another ride. You can add that you are sorry his friends ditched him but you guys can't help and you'll see him there at the lake.
2007-08-28 16:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by Les 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him what you told us. " Neil, I'm sorry but my boyfriend and I want some quite time together and we will not be able to give you a ride. I hope you are OK with that." and leave it at that.
2007-08-28 16:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by dana c 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him that you have plans and tell him the truth that your plans are to spend some time with your boyfriend alone and he needs to find another ride. This way your telling him no and your being honest. Good Luck and Have Fun.
2007-08-28 18:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by orangie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say, "No. We were planning on spending time together alone, and we did not want to have to shuttle anybody around, force anyone to stay, or force anyone to leave. Sorry, but you'll have to ride with someone else or drive your own car."
2007-08-28 16:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
"You know, Neil, I wouldn't normally mind, but [Hot BF] and I are planning some quality time together. I just don't think a third would work out. Sorry."
2007-08-28 17:22:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him u wont have the room for him and u and your boyfriend want some alone time to talk and as u dont get much qualitty time alone. if he doesnt take the hint then have your boyfriend tell him that he isnt riding with u and that u are going to have to much stuff to make room for him.
2007-08-28 19:16:45 · answer #10 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋