A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked intoWal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As they entered, the Walmart greeter said, "Good Morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Good looking children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't." "The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid"' The Wal-Mart greeter just smiled and replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice." "'You have a real good day now and thank you again for shopping at Wal-Mart:
2007-08-28 09:05:09 · 12 answers · asked by fishineasy™ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol......good one...here's one for you
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...
CHeeRIoS
2007-08-28 09:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
LOL Good one.
Would that we could let a Wal-Mart greeter tell it like it is.
I often wonder what that guy's real function is. He's probably the first tier of the security system and he's got a mike plugged up his nose and talking under his breath to somebody in Wal-Mart mission controle.
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{{{{"man you wouldn't believe the ugly skuzz ball of a woman coming in the door right now, oh man, and towing a couple of howler monkeys,too.". Trash cleanup at the front door}}}
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HELLO! and welcome to Wal-Mart !
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2007-08-28 09:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by ericbryce2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol. Haven't heard that one before. Funny. Have a star
2007-08-28 09:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Ann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny. Heres a star for this one.
2007-08-28 09:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HA HA HA
Well he sure wasn't blind or stupid, but he probably wished for temporary blindness when she went by.
2007-08-28 09:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by Limestoner62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny, but maybe she got 2 kids by frozen sperms,lol
i wish i can give u 10 stars.
2007-08-28 22:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweet. Show that bruja her place wal-mart man.
2007-08-28 11:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol! good one! and in answer to your question - you totally get a star!
2007-08-28 10:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by Soxygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL efing awesome
star for you
2007-08-28 09:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda sad, but funny
2007-08-28 09:16:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋