Jehovah's Witness Yahoo Answers users: curious how many of you have family members you're actively shunning?

Question

how is that going for you and for your shunned family member?

and what contact, if any, have you had since the shunning commenced and for what reason?

not asking for a sermon here, just wanting personal experiences, and really only asking within the family, not "friends"

thanks.

so all the JW posters here are speaking hypothetically and not from experience??

Thank you, Salt.

I wonder if anyone who posts here is shunning an immediate family member? how's that going?

Answer 1

Well, I assume you are asking if any of my relatives are disfellowshipped. 2 are. One is a distant cousin, who I have met once, when she came with 2 other relatives because my grandmother was dying, or so we thought. She was a resiliant lady.

The other relative is my brother. Honestly he and I don't get along very well, and so it isn't much of a change from if he was a Witness.

He made his decisions, I made mine. I still am polite to him when we are around each other, which has mostly been during family emergancies, like when my Dad just passed.

He and I are both adults, and act like it.

Answer 2

JWs call it disfellowshipping instead of shunning. I think Amish call it shunning but I think they pretend the person is a ghost and ignore them even if they are standing right in front of them. Thats superstitious, and JWs don't do that. JWs will say hello and excuse me and here is that rake I borrowed or whatever, just not real conversation.

I'm not a JW (yet) but my wifes family has lots of JWs. They are good people, but over the years theres been a few times where one or two are "out". They take thier "time out" like big boys and girls, and then they get thier act together and get reinstated.

That sounds tough, but its way better then our old church. The pastor got caught cheating his wife and he didn't even loose the job! He just promised to get counseling and they just suspended him for two weeks.

Answer 3

I have two cousins that are disfellowshipped. They are siblings, my aunt's children. They both abuse drugs and alcohol. They are both extremely immoral, and both have children out of wedlock that they have since abandoned. (My aunt is raising their children, and their children are not "shunned.")

My two cousins are the sort of people that, even were they not disfellowshipped, I would avoid contact with. They show no evidence of repentance and no interest in changing their ways.

Considering their conduct and their attitudes, I am relieved that they are not members of the congregation at present. The congregation must be kept clean, and the lifestyles they are living do not meet God's standards.

Answer 4

Jehovah's Witnesses practice a fair form of shunning and refer to it as "disfellowshipping". A disfellowshipped person is not to be greeted either socially or at their meetings. Shunning is not required in the case of disfellowshipped members living in the same household, although in this case the remaining members will not usually discuss spiritual matters with the disfellowshipped one. Family members are not to be spoken to once they leave home except in emergencies. There are a number of reasons that a person may be disfellowshipped, with fornication and apostacy being two of the most common enforced. (a distinction is made between "apostates" and weak ones who express "doubts" [1][2]) The organization points to passages in the Bible (1 Corinthians 5:11-13), such as those mentioned above, to support this practice.

in my case I used to have a closer friend, he committed adultery two times and at the third one he was disfellowshipped.

It was hard for me to stop having a close relationship, but he decide to live an inmoral way of life....He was the clser friend that I used to have, and don´t understand why he couldn´t stop it.

Answer 5

My mom is a JW. My sister and I are both ex-JWs. At first my mom refused to have anything to do with us when we left, but recently she's started to lighten up a bit. However, a few months ago when all three of us were in a store, she spotted a JW couple from her congregation that would recognize my sister and me. She pleaded with us to stay on another aisle until they left because she was ashamed to be seen with us. She then went and approached the couple to talk to them and direct their attention away from us.

Honestly, I don't really care about it when I'm the victim because her behavior doesn't make me love her any less. If anything I feel sorry for my mom because she has to hide her true feelings and put on a pretense which pretty much sums up the whole JW religion. But, I really did feel bad for my sis. Little tears started welling up in her eyes when that happened! I just patted her on the back and reminded her that mom is a prisoner, and she's the only one who can set herself free; the rest of our family still loves her no matter what.

Answer 6

This recently happened to a friend of mine. She's in love with a guy, and moved in with him/having sex with him. She's 19, had been living with her aunt and uncle who adopted her. She lied to them repeatedly and didn't tell them she was moving until she was on the road. Lots of tears and heartbreak. She was disfellowshipped this past weekend and now her family doesn't speak to her. She was extremely upset, but she grew up in the faith and knew the consequences of her actions. She knew what would happen if she did what she did, but when it came down to it she thought that they'd throw away their beliefs and their religion like she did, so that they could talk to her, but nope didn't happen. I'm not a Jehovah's Witness but I have a few friends who are, so I know a wee bit about it. Is there a specific reason you're asking?
Short answer: It's going terribly.

Answer 7

I'll have to answer for my entire family. I disassociated myself about 7 years ago and you would think I grew horns and a tail by the way I'm treated! My oldest sister has 3 kids, I don't know any of them and she only lives 8 minutes from me. I have seen them in Kroger or Walmart and they literally looked scared and turn around and leave the aisle I'm in. I agree with simon61161 about how much the JW deny how they treat you, but there are too many instances to back it up. My mother and father in law hardly see my daughter because they do not even want to see me to pick her up! Crazy!

Answer 8

My daughter was friends with a shunned JW girl who went to school with her.

The girl got baptized really young in the faith and later on I think she wanted other things in life, especially academically. Apparently JWs do not believe in too much education unless it is a practical trade skill. They do not support university education in law, medicine, psychology and other "human sciences" etc. So she was really in a difficult situation because she was very intelligent. I also suspect, she no longer believed in the church teachings. She would sneak out to hang out with my daughter and her friends and JWS are not allowed to have non-JW friends.

She was shunned and had to leave home and stay with friends. She stayed at my home too. Fortunately she got a full scholarship and is doing very well for herself.

Answer 9

I will answer...I have been shunned by every member of my family, and all the supposed friends that I spent the first half of my life with...No contact...none...zip....

No aunts for my children, even though they are blameless...no uncles...I know none of my nieces or nephews.....and my children know none of their cousins, of which there are 9 to date as far as I know.

I am the most disfellowshipped person, that I know...Others have limited contact with family.

Answer 10

I guess I'll have to answer for my parents who are Jehovah's Witnesses.

I have not had a relationship with them since I left home half my lifetime ago, except for the occassional attempt to try to drag me back into their mess. Failing that, no contact at all. We live in the same town, so if they see me about town, they act like they don't know me. Of course, their faces get all screwed up and mean looking, but other than that, no other reaction to the encounter.

Oh, yeah, one day I was out driving and ended up behind them and they led me on a high speed chase thru the country side trying to outrun me. It was really pathetic and very unChrist-like.

The JWs can lie all day on here and say they don't act that way, but those who have experienced it KNOW better!