too scared to ask a doctor about depression...what do i do?

Question

supposedly my step-mother says that i've been depressed since 11-12 years old, i'm now 25. i've tried to see 2 psychologists but they seemed to be judging me. i have 2 boys, a husband (who thinks i should go crawl in hole cause he's sick of the way i act) and we live with my father-in-law. i think about me and my family dying so i'm always sad and i hate it! i also have trouble sleeping, staying awake and more recently oversleeping. i have trouble concentrating, making decisions, remembering things and i'm slow to do things (my dad and step-mother always called me tortuga). over 4 months ago i got into a huge fight with my father and i haven't talked to him since, he doesn't try to see his grandsons, he used to hit me and my brothers and the longest i've gone without talking to him was 7 1/2 months, did i mention he kicked me out when i was 17? i do tend to dwell on the past...either way i'm making life hard for my family but i'm too scared to go see a doctor. any suggestions? thanks

Answer 1

Would it be bad to see a doctor if you could find a good one that you don't feel is judging you? If your husband and family would support you in this , I think that it might be a really good idea.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Don't be scared. What many people fail to realize is that there is no such thing as normal. Many "normal" people have slight bipolar, or even schizophrenic tendencies. It is only when the condition disrupts your daily life that we label someone as being "bipolar." Those people have to be placed on medication in order to sustain a normal life. Having done a rotation at a psychiatric hospital, I've seen true personality disorders etc. If you feel that your mood swings are disrupting your life and significantly impacting it, then I would make an appointment to see a psychiatrist (not a psychologist). Bipolar is commonly defined as someone who endures a manic phase (a period of hyperexcitability) that lasts for 4 days to a week. By manic, think of someone on speed who can't sit still and is really happy and having racing thoughts (meaning they can't concentrate on one thing). All of us experience this feeling from time to time but someone who is truly enduring a manic stage will experience this for a week. After this manic phase, the person will then go into a stage of depression. Anxiety is different from Bipolar disorder. You could have generalized anxiety disorder in which you are always feeling anxious at all times regardless if you just won the lottery or experienced some happy event. Don't confuse anxiety with bipolar disorder. Sure, some patients can have both but the terms are unique. Even if you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it's not a crippling disease. I know that many writers and artists loved their manic phase and felt they were the most productive during that time. Many people live happy and successful lives with bipolar disorder. You will have to be put on a mood stabilizer like lithium (if you can tolerate it) or other drugs.

Answer 4

I don't know where you live in a city or small town but the best thing is to interview a therapist before you see them - you can do this on the phone. See if the way they speak with you appeals to you - or turns you off. Call five of them if you can and ask them all the same questions.

A good therapist should not seem like they're judging you. They should listen to you and take into account how you feel. Some questions to ask.

1. Do they work with a lot of depressed mothers?
2. Do they do a lot of work with victims of child abuse?
3. What could you hope to achieve from working with them?

Depression is an illness and can be treated. A good therapist will give you tools that you can use that will help you. Therapists are like you and me, you should not be afraid to call them. They are bound to keep all information personal and confidential.

If you feel like you want to harm yourself or others, call 911 immediately, or seek help from a neighbor, friend, or priest.

The hardest part is the first step: asking and seeking help. You can do this - for your kids if you won't do it for yourself.

Answer 5

You say "it seems" the doctor's are judging you. Since you have had these problems since you were young, it's very probably you cognitive development has gotten somewhat distorted by now, especially since you dwell on things. These are real issues you need solved on how to cope with them better. Find a doctor that will direct you to a therapist. Therapists do not judge, they may be no good...but they don't usually judge.
It's very possible that you feel you are being judged, therefore you project what you feel unto the doctor's. Remember its just how you feel. You can't predict what the doctor is thinking. Sometimes they are cold and insensitive, but their job is to help you. It takes time, trial and error to find a doctor you feel good with.

Keep looking, find a friend who can you help you in your search for a doctor. If you don't have anyone you can confide in, try the NAMI like suggested earlier in your replies. It can get really exhausting when you're depressed to keep trying...but keep trying. It'll be a relief when you finally find what you need.

Answer 6

You definitely have a lot of issues, and it's clear you and your family need therapy. For therapy, you would need to go to a family counselor.

You need medication. For this, you go to a Psychiatrist. No one else can do this job. He will get you on track.

There is a site that will help you find counselors and psychiatrists: It's called NAMI--The National Alliance for Mental Illness. There are many, many ways these people can help you, and you can talk to others with issues like yours. www.NAMI.org

Let NAMI make the appointment with you and take someone you trust with you. They're not going to do anything but test you (filling out bubble forms of questions like: How grouchy are you today?) Then he'll discuss how you're feeling, ask you questions. There is nothing uncomfortable about it. Then he'll tell you how he'd like to treat your symptoms and, if you agree to his treatment plan, he'll start you on some medication that will make you feel better. You may have to try a few meds before you find one that works for you, but I guarantee, within a year, you'll be stable, not in a bad mood all the time, not anxious and concentrating & sleeping.

Visit the NAMI site. Call or e-mail them. They are extremely helpful.

Debbie
Depression Patient
Not a dr.

Answer 7

Isn't there any one in your life who can help you, a friend,sibling, co-worker, Aunt or Pastor? We all need support and it doesn't sound like you are getting any from your family. I'm not even sure what a tortuga is but name calling only cripples a persons self esteem.That is terrible!
Sometimes just having someone to talk to can help you feel better about things,however,you may need medication.You could have a chemical imbalance or it could be your hormones.Nothing that is your fault!
If there really isn't anyone else, talk to your husband,tell him you are sick of being this way too.Maybe you two could go for walks together, exercises can do wonders for your mind set.You get more energy and getting in shape can make you feel better about yourself.It would give you time together to talk.Ask him to help you find the right psychologist, Don't give up! Think of your boys, they need their Mom! I wish you luck!

Answer 8

Only a doctor can diagnose you, preferably a psychiatrist. A diagnosis is not a judgment, it is a guide to treatment. That said, finding a therapist that you are comfortable with can take more than one try. The same can be said for a doctor/psychiatrist.

It takes a fair amount of bravery to let yourself be diagnosed with depression, which I can say out of experience. I did it because of what being untreated was doing to my husband. Seek help, if not for yourself, for your children. There may be some patterns in your family (abuse, etc.) that may take some professional help to break the pattern. Yes, there is some stigma attached to the diagnosis, but at a certain point avoiding treatment will no longer hide the fact from those around you that something is wrong. It take more bravery to seek treatment than it takes to go it alone. There's a lot of us out there pulling for you.

Answer 9

Hi. 13 or 14 years of depression is a long time to feel that way.
If you are ready to change that, that change can mean a lot of work to get there, but the future is oh, so bright on the other side.

When I was really scared to actually speak of what was really going on.....I took a friend with me......when I didn't have words tospeak, I let her speak for me. Other times when I was afraid to talk and hear myself saying what was inside, I would write it down for the Dr. or Counselor. Sometimes I couldn't look them in the face when they were with me, but they seemed to take my countenance and my fears into consideration. I felt so much shame.
With gentleness and caring the counselor helped me to feel there was a future for me, that with help would come hope, and forgiveness, and the shame would go away. I would be able to hold my head up....and actually smile.

Your saddness really is only temporary. It can be treated.
As a Dr. or counselor hears your story, and you physical and emotional "complaints", there is so much information flying at them - and they know that in only a very few minutes you will want to know "What is wrong" "Can it be treated?" "How long until I feel better?" "Is there any point in trying to get well?"
As you can imagine, that's quite a handful of information the Counselor has to process to be able to answer those questions for you. They won't know how to answer unless they ask in certain categories of the now and the past in your life. It may feel that you are being judged...because everybody else in your life has been judging you. The Counselor, though, is asked to sum-up what you tell them in such a short time, so they are looking and asking and probing, because they really want to give you a genuine answer to "what's wrong with me?"

Just in the one paragraph of your question, there were numerous areas listed that would be momentous in anyone's life. Your symptoms do sound like depression. And there are really treatments available. You don't have to live with so much depression. There is hope!

Thinking about your 2 boys. They are learning and living oh, so fast in their young years, and they are looking to you to show them life and hope. Will you get yourself treated and well for them? So you can be the kind of mom you want to be?

Since talking face to face is so difficult, and it sounds like you have some basic questions to be answered, there is an 800 number you can call 1-800-NEWLIFE where they address depression and family problems and personal problems. There is a website too http://newlife.com On there you can seek a counselor, support group, seminars, and resource books. I have appreciated their message boards for encouragement from other women.

People have treated you poorly. That is a reflection on them, and who they are. You deserve to be treated with respect.

Answer 10

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 11

Don't be scared to see a doctor,being scared is probably what helped you get to this point.Don't listen to others about how you feel either,you are the only one that knows how you feel and that is what doctors are for.There is all kind of good medicine out there today,and I don't mean drugs(illegal) I mean stuff that will help you cope with life.Everyone has struggled in life sometime or another so you are not alone,all our hearts are out for you so raise your head high and do what you know is right and see a good doctor.I will personally keep you in my prayers and hope many others do the same,Good-luck