I do I ask my father who isn't really a father figure to me...?

Question

Okay...my dad hasn't been in my life growing up nor the rest of my siblings. Since my sister is 9 years older than me he treats her like a freaking queen in terms of buying everything for her. In short, to explain how he is, he has told my oldest sister that if he could do it all over again he wouldn't have kids, he has come into her work with me there and not seeing me for a year and walks right past me, but explaining later that he doesn't know what to say to me so he'd rather not say anything. He is very pyshco ( he'll call the family seprately trying to figure out what everyone is doing to see if he can catch someone in going to a party). See my mom lets him come to family functions: parties, christmas, etc...but us kids don't care if he comes because he is, seriously, pyscho. He just does random things that you wouldn't think a stable person would do....So anyways moving on to my question: (wait I have to go to add more details..)

So my middle sister has been asking him for years and year to HELP her pay off her student loans and he would always say no. He owns a very well-off business so he has the money. 2 weeks later after she wrote him another email asking for help he went and surprised my oldest sister with a 2007 Mercedes CLK250 (something like that). My middle sister was sooo pissed that she went off and start hitting stuff and even sprained her wrist. The things is when my dad gave the car to my oldest sister he said exactly "this is for all the missed birthdays". Because he related the gift to being a father the rest of us were waiting for our birthdays to see what we get. My middles sisters birthday came and went. He said I am not helping with your student loans - after weeks and weeks of argueing and her threatening him that he can't come to any family functions he said he'll give her $5,000! Well my birthday is in October and I want him to pay for my wedding how should I ask?

Don't get me wrong....I work for my sister and my sister gets merchandise from my dad so I talk to him on a daily basis we're all nice and whatever and I love him so don't think we attack him. He has just said hurtful things in the past. My sister that wants him to pay off the student loans is a lot like him. What I mean by this is in the emails that she has written him she is demanding and expects him to listen. The reason why he won't pay her student loans his because my mom was married to someone else the time she went to school and my mom and ex-stepfather promised to pay for her school and since they are divorced she is stuck paying herself and my dad sees it as that was my moms and ex-stepfathers responsiblity - dang this is really long - sorry. And my dad said that if she asked for something reasonable like a wedding or help with the rent then he would without hesitation so that is why I want to know how I should go about asking him to pay for the wedding. Sorry so long

Answer 1

If your dad said that he would pay for something reasonable like your wedding, then just spring it on him and see what he has to say. It never hurts to ask.
If you are seriously thinking about getting married soon, you should at least let him meet the groom who will be spending a lifetime with his daughter, if he hasn't already. Maybe you THREE could have a nice dinner somewhere and talk about it.
-Good luck and God Bless.

Tell your sister not to emphasize so much on what she didn't get from her dad and focus on the treasures that she has to gain with her true Father in Heaven, God Almighty.
-We cannot take material things with us when we pass away so what good does it do us to want material things; that get old and collect dust? May she seek the Lord and find peace within. -God Bless.

Answer 2

First off I would come out and ask him" Dad I'm getting married soon and you said you would help us pay for our weddings. I wanted to find out if that option is still open." If he says yes then ask how much money he is willing to give you so you can plan according to the $$$. If he says no then look at him and say "Thank You, anyway, I won't ask for anything again. " Then treat him accordingly. I would be polite but would not include him in any family function, maybe not even the wedding. As far as the sister with the school debt, if your mother said she would pay for it then she should pay for it. Your older sister knows him differently than you do, and is going to be treated differently,that doesn't mean it's right, but a fact of human nature.

Answer 3

Wow, first off sorry to hear about the situation! But you have to decide if you want him to pay for the wedding then your adding him into your life and giving him something he can always say he paid for! Which he walks you down the isle and gives you away and if he wasn't or isn't in my life then he shouldn't have that pleasure!! I would not want to do this, but you have to decide if this bothers you or not! I got married and paid for most of it ourselves, it wasn't the biggest but it was the best! Why because we paid for the majority of it. We did get a little help but nothing major! My wife paid for her dress and we decorated the rec hall and we paid for the photographer. So I guess what I'm saying is if you want to have him pay for the wedding then just ask! If he wants to then he will if he doesn't then make the best of the situation! You have your hubby kid and the rest of your family, the biggest wedding isn't the best wedding!

Answer 4

there's a fable approximately that claims plenty of females marry any individual who reminds them in their father. no longer definite why, however that's what the parable says. i might chalk each feedback off as small speak dialog, him looking to uncover out if you're in any respect involved in him. which from what you assert, you're no longer. i would not fear approximately it except he persues it, or comes up with every other common strains. if he attempts to, then it is going to be as much as you to reduce him and go away him within the grime. :)

Answer 5

Do you love your Dad or your Dad's money?