How to ask parents if they plan on paying for some wedding expenses?

Question

I am the bride. My parents haven't offered any financial help. I guess I will have to ask them if they are planning to help? Any ideas of how to do this? I am prepared for either answer from them. It is hard to plan without knowing if they will be helping.

Answer 1

You should sit down with them - minus your fiance - and bring it up. Most parents don't want to talk about their financial situation in front of others. Tell them that you've started planning and you want to know if they were going to be contributing to the wedding. Make sure they know that it is okay if they decide not to give you any sort of financial help - as long as they are there for emotional assistance and planning. I'm sure they will open up and talk to you about it.

Answer 2

I so wish that I had done this. I kept waiting for my parents to offer. I kept trying to please them. I ended up paying for the whole thing myself. I have thought about this a lot, and this is what I wish I had done.
I should have approached them both together, and said that I wanted them to talk about it and tell me whether they wanted to help with the wedding costs.
My parents would have been angry if I had come across as expecting them to help.
If they indicated that they would not be helping financially at all, I would have said that in that case, I would be planning something very small, because I didn't have a lot of money (which of course, they knew).
I would have then planned a wedding where my husband and I went away for the weekend and got married by a judge.
Good luck.

Answer 3

say,

"Mom and Dad, I was wondering if you were planning to help with the wedding. If not, I completely understand. But, I'm trying to create a budget. So, I need to know what I'm working with."

I don't believe it's embrassing to ask your own parents for money. Why would it be? They are your parents. I mean, what kind of rigid families to people come from, where topics like money between parents and children are taboo.

There is no harm in asking. Your parents are grown adults. If they don't want to give or can't, they have the right to say no.

If they give out of guilt, they are a bunch of pushovers. It's there own fault for not setting limits and standing there ground.

Answer 4

Just be straight forward, and ask them nicely if they were wanting to contribute to help pay for your wedding. You'll never know until you ask- I had to ask my mom as well, and I had to get her budget from her- which is still shady because she is saying she'll pay half of what it cost (since my parents are divorced)- yet she knows my dad can't afford that much at all... not even half... so I told her we'd have to set the wedding back in order to pay either all of it or the other half- and she told me not to change the date, that we'll figure something out????????? So yes, it's hard to flat out ask them, but you have to do it so you can start your planning and see if you need to pay for any of it. My fiance and I are already paying quite a bit out of our own pocket, but can't do half unless we change the date to a later time. Just ask, and you'll be nervous about it- because it's hard to ask for money, but you'll get your answer, and when you do make sure you find out how much $$ they want to give to you upfront! :)

Answer 5

This sounds like a marriage with you, hubby & mommy & daddy, not a good thing, I respect the fact that he is a caring son to his parents but I dont think he gets the fact that he is married now, this is about you & him, husband & wife, period! If he continues paying for mom & dad it will become a on going situation, in other words, they may expect him to pay for future trips & dinners,lunches etc, so just let him know that while you respect the fact that he loves his parents, that you wont support him & be so nice the next time, let him know that this wont be happening again! And honestly, it should be his mom & dad paying for you & your hubby, not the other way around? As you are the brand new married couple, just starting out in life, which makes it even more important for you to set down balance & rules pertaining to your new in-laws.

Answer 6

You can use a euphenism like "extent to which you wish to be involved" instead of flat out asking "how much are you willing to cough up?" Aside from that, you have to go with a straight ahead "David and I are trying to make wedding and honeymoon plans; when is a good for us (you and your parents) to go over a few details?"

Answer 7

If they haven't offered, then I would be prepared for them to say that they can't afford it. Maybe you could ask if they could help with paying for something small like the invitations or the cake and see what their reaction is. That way you can gage whether it's even worth asking them for more help.

Answer 8

They should have spoken up by now if they were going to contribute. Perhaps they have no savings to offer you?

Plan as though they are not contributing. Eventually, your parents will want to know what you are doing about food or flowers or whatever, and you can say, "Well, we decided on X because it fits into our budget." That's a golden opportunity for them to say, "Oh, well, we can give you $$$..."

Answer 9

Be staright and to the point, "Mom/Dad, We're starting to plan the wedding & reception and were wondering, if you would be able to help us out any with the costs?"

Maybe if you don't live at home anymore they're thinking that you wanted to do it yourself, so let them know that you'd appreciate any help they throw your way. I know my mom was only more than happy to help pickup some of the reception tab!

Answer 10

I agree with Greyhound Mama.

Make your wedding plans as if you are going to cover all of the costs, then whatever you get from people who want to help with your wedding costs can be put towards a bigger bridal bouquet, upgrade to first class airline tickets for your honeymoon or put away in a savings account.

Plan the wedding you can afford.