Teacher questioning Daughter's Integrity... How would you handle it?

Question

They have been in school for 2 weeks. And yesterday my teenage (14) daughter came home distraught. The previous week we stayed up and I helped her with a homework project. She is such a perfectionist that sometimes it is hard for her to mange her time.

Apparently, the teacher thought that my daughter plagiarized her project. The teacher called my daughter up to the front of the class (right in front of her peers) and started asking her questions like and demanding answers (the "truth"), "did she steal the idea off of the internet," and that "there is no way you know any of these words."

My daughter stood there, her face turning red and told her the truth, that she didn't steal it and she worked hard and did it herself. The teacher made a face like she didn't believe her. This was devistating to her... she works so hard to gain the respect of her teachers and her peers.

My daughter has a 4.3 GPT. Post highschool SAT scores for reading. What would you do?

I feel like the teacher was out of line. I know my daughter, she doesn't cheat. She is very creatve and mature for her age. Plus... for those who say you really never know what your kids are up to... I worked on the project with her. I know what kinda ideas she disscussed with me, etc.

Answer 1

The teacher was out of line. COntact the principals office immediately. Schedule an appt with the teacher, guidance counselor and principal. DEMAND an apology in the same manner the offense took place, in front of the class, and that the principal and guidance counselor (the teacher's peers) are also there, then demand the principal write the incident up and place it in her file. Write a detailed letter of your own and have your daughter write a letter also that will accompany the principal's write up. Ask that she be rescheduled from that class if possible.

If you do not receive satifaction, attend your next board of education's meeting. you might have to call ahead of time to be placed on the agenda. State your case there with any and all additional information and actions from the principals' office. Demand satification publically.

Answer 2

I would ask for a private conference with the teacher. And I would contact some of your daughters former teachers from last year or the year before and ask them to write letters of recommendation to the new teacher who can't quite believe a girl her age can be doing work at this level. When you go to meet with the teacher, tell her that in your family, education is a high priority, and you demand that your children respect their teachers. Continue by saying you are aware that your daughter has already been called out in class, and you're there to figure out the facts and see how things can be smoothed over so that your daughter has a good and productive year with the teacher.

This approach is VERY important, because you don't want the teacher to feel like she's on the defensive. You want to show her that you're on her side (and your daughter's) and your goal is a GOOD educational year between them, not problems.

When the teacher explains that she's been teaching X number of years and has never once seen a project like your daughters that hasn't been cheating -- which is more than likely the case -- you should nod empathetically. Then say, "I absolutely understand your concern and believe me, we have a strict NO CHEATING rule in our house. We expect all our children to do their own work and we even supervise their homework very closely to make sure they are doing it. For this particular project, I supervised my daughter by ___ and ___ and ____...."

Then say, "I suppose there aren't many parents who go to such lengths, but education is just so important in our family, I feel it's the right thing to do. I assure you, this project is my daughter's work. I know it may be hard for you to believe because you don't see work like this too often, so I've taken the liberty of bringing you some letters from my daughter's former teachers. They will attest to her hard work and dedication to doing well in school."

Finish up with, "My daughter really wants to earn your respect. How can we proceed from here?

Then listen. Listen carefully. Take notes. Repeat back what you hear the teacher say, as in, "So what I understand you to be saying is _____ -- is that right?"

Things should be okay. Maybe the teacher was having a bad day or whatever. Once she meets with you and sees how dedicated you are to education -- and believe me, that's an unfortunate rarity these days!!! -- she will probably be very respectful.

There's a chance, though, that it wasn't just one bad day. She might be burned out or bitter about something. She might not be where she needs to be as a teacher. The best you can do is record what she says and give it a little time to see if things work out. If not, and if the problems continue, have another meeting with the teacher, and if there is no satisfaction on your part, go meet with the principal. A principal can't know there's a problem with a teacher unless parents speak up.

Good luck -- you're a great mom and your daughter sounds like the kind of student I would have treasured when I was still teaching!

Answer 3

You sound like an attentive and perceptive parent and your daughter sounds like a great young woman.

Nobody should call into question the genuine scholarship of a student unless they can provide evidence. "Hunches" or "doubts" are not proof your daughter is a plagiarizer (a very serious accusation) and that's all her teacher had to offer.

To embarrass her in front of the class shows a true lack of sensitivity toward the issue and the student's right to confidentiality. It had nothing to do with the other students and they should not have been privy to the confrontation.

File a complaint with the principal and the school board.

Please express to your daughter for me that the world is a wonderful place, but it also includes people who are insensitive, arrogant and bitter and a test of her character and inner strength will be how she navigates around these people every day to achieve the best life she can make for herself.

Answer 4

In an ideal world it would be possible to organise a meeting with you, the teacher and your child so that the teacher could quizz her on her work and she wouldn't feel too intimidated to discuss her work intelligently and knowingly with you there and without the classroom full of kids.

Whether this could work in practice, I don't know. At the very least, I think you should phone the teacher and tell her that you worked on the project with your daughter and that you think strongly that you would be aware of any cheating.
Especially since with time passing, it would become an excercise of learning the work - again or not - rather than finding out whether the work is hers.

It'll do more harm than good if you behave in an aggressive way or make sweeping claims like "I know my daughter and she doesn't cheat" (laughable to most people working with children).

Finally: If nothing else good comes out of this nasty incident, at least your daughter should learn to make and hold on to her notes on her academic work and r-e-f-e-r-e-n-c-e e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

Oh, and that life can be unfair.

Answer 5

I personally would adress it, nicely and calmly, w/ her teacher. B/c, for me, humiliation was a horrific thing at 14...and it happened so easily, if I were that 14 yr old, I'd be terrified of class in general w/ such an insensitive teacher.
IMO, the teacher should've addressed your daughter alone. Humiliation is a horrible form of discipline! And she had no proof that your daughter did anything wrong, so IMO, she handled it very unprofessionally

Answer 6

I really don't think YOU should do anything.

It would be appropriate for your daughter to approach her teacher and in a respectful way tell her how uncomfortable the whole situation made her. The teacher does not yet truly know your daughter and underestimated her abilities, but by your daughter handling this by herself she is showing how mature and intelligent she really is.

I know as a mom you want to jump right in and fix everything. But this really is a life lesson for your daughter to learn. I feel its very important that children learn from an early age to respect authority, but at the same time learn it is ok to question or ask why as long as its done in respectful, appropriate behavior.

Answer 7

I think the way to remedy the situation is 3 things need to be done. First I would call the principal and request a conference be held. I would want the principal, teacher, my child, and myself to be present to discuss the matter. I would make it very well known about my feelings. Second, I would also tell my daughter to write a one page letter stating how and where she gathered her information. Third, I would ask for the school to show me their policy on plagiarism, and what protocol do they use to determine who indeed has committed plagiarism.
Hope this helps.

Answer 8

You need to ask the teacher for a private conference, and calmly tell her how upset your daughter was, how hard she worked and that you KNOW she did it on her own, and that you think it was entirely innappropriate for her to confront your daughter in front of the whole class. If you do not get a satisfactory answer or apology from her then you go to the principle.
If it ever happens again after that I would go straight to the principle. Or if you feel that the teacher retaliates against your daughter after the meeting then go straight to the principle.
If the principle brushes you off then you go above his head.

Answer 9

I'd address this with the teacher in a non-confrontational way and request an apology. If you and your daughter aren't satisfied, take it to the principal.

No child should work that hard on a project and then get treated like a criminal.

Answer 10

Sounds like your daugther is very bright. If I were you, I would got directly to the teacher and speak with her. As you said, you worked with her on the project, so you are a witness to her abilities. I would tell the teacher that her behaviour was out of line and that she should apoligize to your daugther in front of the class.