Why is it like mandatory to begin a letter with "Dear__," even if you don't even know who you're writing to?

Question

or they're not even close to you to be "dear"..

Answer 1

If you are writing someone that you are going to address by first name, then using the Dear is pretty standard. (Dear Bill, Dear Sue, Dear John.)

If you are writing a business letter and you do not know who is going to receive it, a generic "Dear Sir or Madam:" is often used. It indicates you are aware one particular person is going to get the letter but you are unsure who it will be.

Using "To whom it may concern" is a generic title for a letter where you have no idea who is going to get it and you are not writing the letter for one specific person. This is often used when you write a reference letter for someone. It is a kind of address that indicates the letter may be going to more than one person. (To whom it may concern: I write this letter as a reference for Bill Smith, a former employee of mine....etc..)

However if you are going to address the person by his title and last name OR it is a business letter, the "Dear" is not appropriate. (Mr. Jones: Mrs. Smith: Lt. Col. Anderson:)

Answer 2

It is a custom which goes back to a more polite and stilted culture, when manners and politeness were an integral part of communication between people. It was a very formal time, but it did show the importance and dignity of each person, even though it became rote and thoughtless, the form prevailed. People did not casually call each other by their first names, sometimes a wife would call her husband Mr. ___ their whole married life. And other manners were observed like bowing. The way we commonly begin our letters such as Dear__ _were once ended "Sincerely, I remain your humble servant, _________." Now that is shortened to "Sincerely" or very truly yours, rather than "very truly your humble servant"

It is kind of sad that all the cordial customs of polite society are gone. I think it happened out of selfishness and rudeness that is tolerated today.

I was a child in the last generation where everyone dressed up just to go shopping or to the movies even. The ladies (now that is kind of a put down term) wore gloves and hats and all the men wore suits and white shirts and ties. Only the uncouth swore in public, you never ever heard the F, the S word or even OMG. Damn was a terrible swear word. A lot of "scandalous" stuff was shut in the closets or swept under the rug. Unwed mothers were sent away before the pregnancy was observed, the baby was adopted out, and she came home after being "abroad" or "staying at aunt martha's" for a few months. Maybe it would all be considered hypocritical and dishonest today, but I think society was a lot more orderly and respectful and kids grew up in two parent families, even if the parents stayed together "for the sake of the children".

Answer 3

I rarely use the dear when starting a letter, if I know the person I just start out with their name - If I dont know who I'm writing to I put to Whom it may concern.

Answer 4

It isn't. I've been writing business letters for many years, as a paralegal, psychologist, & artist's agent. If I know the name of the person to whom I'm writing, after the date, business name & address, I just drop down & type:

Attn: (bla bla bla)
Re: (bla bla bla)

Or, simply their NAME with a colon.

I never use "Dear" even with my friends--it's so superfluous, (unless it's an elderly person who finds "Dear" appealing), I type their name with a comma. Nor do I use, in business letters "Very truly yours," or "Sincerely," or "Regards." I simply type my name & sign it, always with "cc:" below so they'll know I have a copy in suspense, or I've sent a copy to someone & they really don't need to know. If they NEED to know, I'll indicate to whom I've sent it. If someone feels, personally, that extra "courtesies" or "respect" is needed, by all means do so. Yet, what was once considered "proper" simply isn't anymore. The content of your letter is far more important. Concise, & clear.

Answer 5

It is showing a from of respect for the person that you are writing to.But you don't have to do that if you'd rather not. You can start it off with (To whom this may concern ) if you would rather. I know how you feel sometimes the person you are addressing is far from a dear person !

Answer 6

I work as a paralegal, and in the course of my day, I will send about 15 letters. Each of them is addressed to 'Dear Mr./Ms./Dr. soandso' - I have never met these people, or barely know them, but that is how it is done.

You only address 'To Whom it may Concern' if you don't know the name of the person you are writing to.

Answer 7

Actually it's not mandatory, its a matter of preference. If you do not know the person, begin the letter with "Greetings", ""To Whom it May Concern", etc.

Answer 8

Mr Brown, being addressed as Dear Mr Brown, does not think he's getting a love letter.
Mr Brown, addressed as Mr Brown, may feel he's about to be verbally assaulted. It's just one of hundreds of squirts of oil that we use to lubricate the gears of society.

Answer 9

Dear in that sense isn't the same as "dearly beloved". You might use Gentlemen: , or Ladies, or Sir: or Madam: But if you are requesting something from them, I'd still use Dear.

Answer 10

You could use "to whom it may concern",
you could even write it like in memo form,

To:
From:
Re:

This is to inform you.....whatever the actual body of your letter is, without putting any
"Dear" or anything there.