Why do some religious people think that staying at home with kids is "subservient" and a"woman's role"?

Question

I stay home with my kids because I think a parent should. Not a woman, a parent. I have had three kids, granted one was a set of twins, but still. I do not plan on doing this forever, but my point is my staying at home has nothing to do with being a "help meet" or a woman or even a Christian (since I'm not) Its a choice as a PARENT. Why do people make it about status as a gender?

And I am aware of what the Bible says. Respet goes both ways, even in the Bible. Some people twist that passage making women "lesser". It doesn't state that. Why are people misrepresenting it?

Yeah it sucks that some people can't afford to stay home. I am really lucky. When I get my degree my husband is going to be the stay at home parent for a while so that he can experience it too. :)

"Bringing home the bacon" doesn't make you head of the household either. My husband will happily tell you, I run the house. I'm home all day, I deal with the kids, *I* run the house. He just pays the bills. LOL

Answer 1

I know what your saying.. I'm stay at home with my boys.. I can not work because I could not afford to work. No one has reasonable rates to babysit an autistic child.

I hate that stereotype as well.. we're not subservient we have the option to stay at home so we do. If I knew I could make more money than the husband the roles would be switched. It has nothing to do with gender at all I know plenty of stay at home dads. Its an equal partnership.

Answer 2

Today some men stay home and the women work outside the home. We laughed so hard at Daddy Daycare.
It was hilarious, but shows that men can be very good care givers. Raising a family is a job for both a man and a women.
One of the most important jobs we do together.
How does sitting behind a desk all day crunching numbers make us this God of the Universe? When some women do the same job. It is not one job is subservient and another makes us a man. It is just in decisions that affect the whole family the man makes the final decision. However, he should never make a large purchase nor should she without talking it over. Since the money to pay for it comes out of our join account. Any decision that she really opposed I would not do.
She would say in fact, "what do you think about it"
That is where good communication comes in.

Answer 3

Men have been using the bible for many years to get what they want. Whether it be money, political gain, or obedience from anyone.
It may never come out and say it in the bible but men have been reading it that way and have found that they like the power in it. They want to be looked at as the provider, leader and head of the family.

It's been deeply rooted in society for a long time. The woman is to stay at home, raise the children, cook, clean, and whatever else the man has in mind.
Don't get me wrong, not all men are like this. But there are a lot of men that are. Some churches even to this day promote it and say that's how god intended it to be because Eve tempted Adan to eat the fruit of knowledge. That's womans punishment. Which brings us to a wholly different subject...

Answer 4

The subservient statements that you have seen on here come from people who understand that women are not just put on this earth to simply placate a husband.

No where did God say you women must stay at home, and have no voice if your husband wants to do something stupid.

I applaude women that want and CAN stay home and be a mom. Our children lack that. Your right, that many cannot afford it. But if you can, I think it is great.

It is the attitude that I see so much in churches that say, I must do this. NOT TRUE....

God gave me wisdom, and revelation. He gave me the intelligence to be a shrewd business manager. I have a severe problem with people that twist the word, to keep women in the dark, while they puff out their "manly" chest and say. I am the head of the household...It says so in the bible.

No, IT says, to love your wife as Christ loves the church. Presenting her holy and blameless before God. How sad that men will have to one day explain how they treated their wives, not letting them be the very person that God made them.

Answer 5

Well I am a working mother and a Christian mom as well and I don't believe that in this day and age another Christian can judge the decision (the only option really) that I have to be a working mom. It makes life a little harder not to be home, as I would love to be home but ultimately that is not Gods plan for my life right now. In being subservient you are to obey the husband. Since I am not married, and my husband found another..... this is the path I'm on at the moment. I am still able to serve God by raising my children up in the Lord. If I were married, and my husband said I should work, I would have to work and that would still be subservient to my husband. And vise versa.

Answer 6

I think it's because for so long that's what women were told they "had" to do. When it's a reasoned choice, or a personal preference, that's one thing. When it's something you do because you're told to do it, then it becomes subservient.

My mate stays home with our two, because I have a good job, and he can't find one that will accommodate the really strange hours my job entails. You're right, a parent should stay with the kids, if the couple can afford it, and which one it is is really a matter of what works for the family.

Answer 7

I believe that there is nothing higher or more respected than the role of being a woman and mother. Women have been crowned with the power of creation within themselves and should be honored and charished for that.

I also believe that a large part of the femanist movement is an attempt to break down the family and take away the guidance, teaching and love that a mother provides for her children and displace it with a career or worldly power.

I love my wife with all my heart and deeply respect her for what she does for our children. My job is nothing compared to her 24/7 non-stop dedication to our family. I will be eternally grateful to her for that and will do all I can to ease her burden and help her every way I can. If you see this view as subserviant I think you better look again.

Answer 8

I think it's great you stay home with your kids. Some of my best memories as a kid is having Mom home when we got off the bus etc. Most families I see can't afford to have one stay home, because they've gotten in debt with all the stuff they think they need to have. I've worked in daycare before, and I see the difference in the kids that don't get quality parent time because of the parents' schedule. Good for you.

Answer 9

I really don't know why....I'm assuming because the good book tells them it is so.

I think that is *great* you are able to stay home with the kids. There's plenty of research out there that says it is beneficial to the children. You are also very lucky (as you noted) that your family is able to work it that way....we have turned ourselves into a duel income nation. My father was actually the stay at home parent when I was young, and I am very thankful for that.

Answer 10

Unfortunately so much of religion is wrapped up with patriarchal values which tend to denigrate everyone involved-women AND men AND ESPECIALLY children. Parenting is not necessarily a profit-making venture. It becomes a low priority in the capatalist paradigm, which is an outgrowth of a a patriarchal hijacking of religion.
The point is, what you're doing is deeply spiritual work--you are raising souls. Don't get discouraged by criticism that comes from a misguided perspective.