I guess I'll start from what he said triggered him to do it. I recently moved out of the house that we both share,cause he kept fighting me with everything that I try to suggest to make us get better. He was usually always alone jumping from house to house since he was a kid after his mother died. What made me leave was because he kept trying to be detached, ALSO he hadn't saved any money. Well anyways, I left. He had called after I did & asked me if I left him for good. I told him know I just wanted him to get himself together, I don't want to fight anymore. So last night he borrowed my phone, & then gave me his to put on the car charger, I end up taking it to school with me because I wanted to be able to call for a ride. When I got off I called him, told him I had a ride. Then I got off was about to text him & a call came through under his cousin name, and the phone answered. Not to be rude I said hello and it was a girl.& she told me she was his girlfirend & that he said I was ex.
2007-08-28 02:24:57 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ ~ lele ~ ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I told her no that I was his girlfriend, then I hung up and called him. She called back and I exchanged some words to her, and then he called me back. I went over to the house ( his') and then I asked for an explanation as to why he would do that to me affter two and half years. Why couldn't he tell me, he didn't say anything so I got ready to leave because I was crying and he tried to stop me but I left and hung out with my friend down the street. I even ended up talking to a guy that night. Anywho, I went back to the house after a while and he started to pour out his heart. Telling me he was sorry and that he was just trying to prepare himself incase I left him, so he wouldn't hurt so much. He told me he needed me, and he even wrote me a letter. I was so pissed and hurt all last night and I still have that feeling. What I want to know is what do you think I should do?
2007-08-28 02:29:16 · update #1
wow thats almost exactly like what im going through. i was with my bf for 3 years & he kissed another girl. i didn't catch him, he confessed it to me the day after. but anyway, right now we are trying to work things out & he's trying to earn my trust back. it hurt alot the first 2 weeks but im slowly starting to feel better. every1 here will probably tell you to move on, but girl, you gotta do what you're heart tells you. if you think he's a good guy & that he'll change & never do it again, get back with him. if you're not sure, be friends and take it slow, i know its hard to throw away such a long relationship. if you know he'll do it again, leave. but do what ur gut tells you, seriously, its usually right. remember to put yourself first, love yourself first. take some time to cool off and heal. dont rush into anything no matter what he says. good luck. if you ever need sum1 to talk to message me... blaineysgirl4evr. good luck :)
2007-09-04 19:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your plan was to make him grovel, stop wasting your time. While some men who want to be forgiven do the bended knee act and beg and plead, MOST are prepared to wait it out. And then you have that group who are HOPING you'll leave them. I won't say that your husband is the latter, but it seems that your little juvenile plan to give him the silent treatment and shut down on him has officially backfired. Your marriage is not something to play with. If you plan on leaving, make that as plain as the sky is blue so that there is no guesswork. That way he knows to get his mind right and prepare for the coming divorce. I'd say about the only thing you should be upset about is the fact that he cheated. The fact that he chose NOT to stoop any lower and play the gutter game you're playing by trying to make him feel worse is actually a show of some level of maturity for him. You don't have to play those games. Put all your cards on the table, let the man know in no uncertain terms where you stand, and go from there. No need to even act out about it. Get your shiit together and get to leaving. If he begged and pleaded that one day, your actually following through with leaving him will destroy him.
2016-05-19 23:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you got some serious decisions to make. Personally I would get the Heck out of there. Men are ignorent in many ways though and it takes a smack in the face to turn them around. I think you should leave him if he was detached that's a good sign for you to RUN! It's time to move on and get a mature man and your OWN place don't ever move in ever heard the expression "why buy the milk when you get the cow for free??" well it's kind of the same why get married when you live together?? Good luck and think about this-- DO you really want him wasteing another two years of your life?
2007-08-28 02:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think it's unacceptable behavior and I don't think I'd take him back. However, this is your decision. If you love him you could try to work through this. Trust is a difficult thing to gain back, but if you really want to spend your life with him you'll have to work on it. You need to keep talking to him about everything and more than anything do not become detached. If you're going to have a relationship you have to be very close to one another. The best advice I can offer you is to think this through and make sure you actually want to be with him. And if you choose that you do want to be with him, then the two of you really need to talk and bond. Start going on more dates and spending a lot of time with one another, like newly couples.
2007-08-28 02:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it, he was cheating on you while still living with you, and lying to both you and his new girlfriend. The only reason you found out was because she called and you answered the phone. Consider yourself lucky you found out before you got pregnant or an STD. If he is seeing others at same time as you, you are being exposed to whatever he brings home to you. Just not worth it. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. You can't trust this loser. Find someone new and forget about him.
2007-09-04 22:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey you need to stay gone and never go back! first of all he's pretty freaking stupid to be calling his little mistress on YOUR phone! and would he have told you the truth on his own? he only told you because he got caught! you said that you were already having problems. you moved out because they were obviously that bad. this new problem makes them so much worse. you don't deserve someone who cheats on you. there is no reason that excuses it. stay gone and move on!! you deserve someone you can trust and who will stay faithful!
2007-09-04 15:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a friend told me that we cannot make anybody change into something we want them to change. it has to come from them. so stop forcing him to change into something you like. as for the cheating part, they say that once a cheater , always a cheater. i believe you are right in moving out. try to give him space to clear things out and get himself together. if he really wants you back, he'll do everything to win you back.
2007-08-28 02:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Eds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive when you are ready and then move on. No one person deserves to be cheated on. The other person is too weak. You deserve a guy who is your equal!!
2007-09-04 19:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by Gay F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me thinks you should forgive him and then leave his sorry A*S*S* cos he's not worth any moment of your time.He is a scumbag.
2007-09-04 23:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by Lilian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should forgive him.
Then you should leave his sorry A*S*S unless you are prepared to be cheated on F0rEvER!!
2007-08-28 02:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋