Time out for 3-year old outside?

Question

My husband last night commented that he wanted to put a time-out chair on the front porch, so when our three year old threw a tantrum he could just put her on the porch, shut the door and not hear it. I said that you can't kick a 3-year old out for throwing a tantrum and that it's ridiculous and abusive. He then tried to play it off as a joke, but I think he was trying to gauge my reaction because a part of him thought it was a good idea, and he would do it if I thought so, too. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

The time out chair is a good idea but the porch, not so much!! Just jput the chair in a corner IN the house out of the way and do the time out there.

Answer 2

You are absolutely not wrong. Not only the emotional part of "kicking the kid out" (which you could easily look up the pshychological effects of), but it's just not safe... what if someone takes her? what if she got really fiesty and ran into the street? at best, what if one of your neighbors called child protective services on you over a tantrum?

Now if she gets way too loud, you can send her to her room or your room (what we do, since her room has all the toys)... we often make our 4yr old daughter sit on our bed, there is nothing interesting in there for her yet it's still baby proofed.

Ignore her as best you can, don't cave into what she's having a cow about- if you do she knows these outbursts work and she'll just keep having them, and if desperate isolate her in a totally safe for just a few minutes.

Good luck!!

(funny I thought the question was going to be about how to use time out when you're in a park or at the zoo or something!! I had a totally different suggestion loaded... lol)

Answer 3

You are right. That is borderline abusive. Unfortunately as parents, timeouts are just as hard on us as they are on them.

His job is to make sure the child understands why she deserves her 3 minutes of time out, and needs to be there to make sure she stays put. Also, it's grossly negligent to place a 3 year old outside by themselves.

Sit down with your husband and talk to him about how you both should do time outs. You need to pick one chair, step, corner whatever works for you. It needs to be close to your most commonly used room. And you can't send the 3 year old to a different place just because he doesn't want to hear the complaining. Listening to the complaining is just part of being a dad.

The most important part of time out for a 3 year old is that they respect you enough to actually go into the corner (if not reluctantly) and they stay there the whole 3 minutes and they understand why they were punished.
Understanding what they did wrong is so important at this age because otherwise they could just think that you are mean and not get it at all. They need to know that they should be thinking about it, before they go in, and they should apologize for their behavior when they come out.
Good luck with the husband and the 3 year old!

Answer 4

Okay I'm sorry, this sounds like something my husband would come up with! He loves our kids to death, but that would make perfect sense to him, and he wouldn't see it as abusive because he doesn't think things through before he speaks. While outside, what if she fell off the chair and cracked her head open? WHat if a stranger lured her away? What if she got bored and wandered into the street? What if it emotionally damaged her to be shut out of her safe and happy home by her own parents? But my husband wouldn't think of any of these things... he'd think gah, she screams so loud-- if she was on the porch I wouldn't have to hear it!! He's not abusive or a bad parent--- he's just male.
Time out outside-- bad idea. Is your husband wrong-- yes. But abusive and a bad parent, hopefully and probably not. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

Placing a child out of your line of sight when throwing a tantrum is an excellent idea. In the sense that they cannot see you, and your BP wont be shooting through the roof because you're listening to a tantrum.

Personally, I wouldnt stick a child on the porch, unless the yard was safe and fenced and I could watch them from a window.

I dont see where its any different from putting them on time out in their room with the door shut. Theyre still alienated from you.

Personally, i dont agree with time outs for toddlers. We never did time out, we did reasoning and two swats on the butt. And i can count the number of times it resorted to swats. If you're punishing all the time, time outs or not, theres something wrong. Especially if a child throws tantrums so often that he cant handle the noise any more.

Children only do what theyre allowed to. We were never allowed to thow fits, and my kids were never allowed to throw fits. So they didnt. At any age. Although they tried it atleast once at each stage of development.

Answer 6

Kids need some kind of punishment for throwing a tantrum. I would rather give a slap on the hand or a quick spank on his bottom. Or when he throws a tantrum, you can ignore him and let him know that that is not the way to get attention.

And yes, you are wrong.
Men- 1, Women- 0.

Answer 7

As I type this it sounds horrible lol, but my father used to make me sit on the toilet for time out. He used to just pick me up and put me there and close the door. Now as I look back I see his reasoning, my room was no good cause there were toys to play with, living room had the TV and so on.... I really hated sitting in the bathroom so I definatly thought twice before misbehaving.

Answer 8

No, you are right. You need to be able to see your child at all times, time out or not! I would worry about my child running off or someone taking her.I'd put the chair in the house in an area where there is nothing and is really boring for her.

Answer 9

not only do you need to see your child at all times, but this is nothing to joke about. (if your husband was in fact joking) if he cant handle her tantrums, tell him not to dicipline her, and leave it up to you.