Husbands Stupid Idea?

Question

What do you do if your husband Insists on eating out and spending anywhere from $50 - $100.00 on Restaurant food every Sunday.

He is Determined to eat out as a Sunday after church meal.
I know for a fact that his mother did not do this with her kids every Sunday. I was not brought up to eat out and spend money that way.

Frankly, I"m sick of it, it's not healthy, my kids and myself are getting bigger, it's hard to stay on a weight program and it's useless.

I need some honest answers.

I've tried talking to him about it and he gets VERY aggravated. Claims that it's like a reward for all the work he does all week.

It does not seem to phase him that there are other things in life more important than spending it all on a sunday meal. He grouches about not having enough money to do other things, but yet, won't let up on the eating out...

Please help. I'm at my wits end and just this issue is a stressful one.

Thank you all for your help.

Answer 1

From an outside view your husbands sunday meal doesn't seem so harmful! it's nice to have a weekly family gathering out of the house after a stressfull week , see the positive side and be grateful that your husband really wants to go out with you and spend the day!!
For him to insist for you to go every week means that it is something that he really enjoys and needs. We sometimes forget our partners needs when they aren't in our minds so significant, but try to understand why he is so insistant.
It seems that he needs a family gathering every week , something he didn't have growing up and might of missed ...and maybe wants to make it into a family tradition that all the family can remember after years. And that is probably why although he groans about not having money for other things he doesnt mind spending it on a meal out.
You shouldn't worry about your diet program if it's only one day a week!All diets have one free day you can treat yourself, as long as you eat healthy through the rest of the week you wont have any problems or get bigger in one day!!!
Anyway talk it over, don't be angry when you talk or else you will just put him in the defensive and make him want it more as it will be like you are denying him his needs.
i would suggest that you meet in the middle and maybe go out every other sunday and do what you like on one sunday and what he likes on the other!! Just don't forget eachothers needs and don't be selfish. that is the easy thing to do!!

Answer 2

Sounds like he enjoys treating himself to a nice dinner at the end of the week, my husband likes to eat out almost every Friday too however we go somewhere cheap,lol. Maybe suggest something a little cheaper and only go somewhere nice once a month or so, or suggest making a nice Sunday dinner at home. Dont confront him in a negative confrontational way because he will just get defensive. I know its aggravating when one person is spending money on something the other one doesnt approve of but you BOTH should compramise a bit...one day when he is in a good mood just say something like "I was thinking it might be fun to eat a nice Sunday dinner at home and rent a movie, what do you think?" or tell him that you know how much he enjoys eating out but what does he think about letting you pick the place this time or bring up something he has been wanting and tell him that you all can go somewhere cheaper or eat at home and he can save alot of money for whatever it is you need. Good luck!

Answer 3

I know this isn't what you want to hear but if that's his one thing he likes to do every week it's not so bad. Some men spend all weekend drunk or high. That's their "reward".

That being said, I can understand your frustration in terms of health and finances.

Maybe try going out once a month or every other Sunday. On your home Sunday's make something new and different so it still feels like a treat. Pick up a couple of cook books and try something a little bit exotic.

If you think it'll be hard to talk him into this, set a goal to save money for. Something you both really want like a trip or a new TV. That might help motivate him.

Good luck and try not to be too hard on him. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, just a pain sometimes like all men. lol.

Answer 4

You are lucky if it is just once a week. We, as well, do the eating after church. It is relaxing and I enjoy it immensely. With it only being once a week, you really shouldn't complain. He is enjoying himself and rewarding himself for a hard week prior. Let him have that one meal. If he will, you can swap every weekend. One weekend you eat out, and the next you cook or whatever it is you want to do. Endulging once a week is not going to make you unhealthy or put extra weight on you. It is when it is 3+ times per week that it really adds the pounds on. Where else are your expenses going? If it is only on eating out, then he should find a cheaper place or do it once or twice a month. Does he realize this adds up to $400-$500 per month that you could have to spend on much needed things at home? Other than trying to get him to see how much he is spending and him slacking off or going cheaper, your only other option is to get a job yourself to help with some of the financial needs of the home if you are not working now. That is all you can do about it though if he will not budge on his Sunday meals.

Answer 5

Actually it's a life or death issue. If someone's survival and happiness is only hanging on by such a thin thread they need to learn about happiness and love coming from the inside and your relationship with yourelf rather that from outside and other people or things. Emotional Intelligence is a large field, but if you can find some good and easy information and sift through what's not relevant to you, it is not that hard to teach. The teacher must be above the student or they are a drag and not a help. Negative judgmental words kill a home and a relationship. Doesn't do much for the kids either, to say the least. Descriptive positive words, on the other hand, can express anything in a constructive way and more accurately also. It also changes you life and helps you to lose weight, I kid you not, I lost twenty pounds. Feeling empty is partly emotional. When your heart is full your stomach feels stuffed more easily. luv and peace.

Answer 6

well to start, to do it everyweek is really a costly thing, but on the other hand he is sweet to accompany you guys to his "reward". i ay why not ask for a time out one sunday and tell him to go by himself or reward himself alone maybe that way he might see it your way. i know i will do that than to spend all the hard earn money on fattening costly food every week.
another thing does your kids complain or enjoy this trip , maybe he sees that the kids like it that so he keeps on doing it. and the family issue maybe he is trying to do something he has not done in his childhood days that is why he is making up for "lost time"

tell him honestly in a subtle way and lay down all the card pro and cons and let him make the call but support him no matter what he decides pls. i hope this helps

Answer 7

It's nice to eat out once in a while, but perhaps not every week. Maybe every 2 weeks might be a compromise. But frankly, you might also think yourself fortunate that a husband feels determined enough to give the whole family a regular treat like this. Just a thought.

Answer 8

That is quite a bit to spend on food. I would try to find a compromise. Cheaper places. Eat healthier foods. Eating out once a week, if you exrcise and eat helathy shouldn't be causing any significant wieght gain.

If nothing else nd he doesn't want to go cheaper make it an every other week type thing.

Me and my husband eat out/ mid price about once a week, as a treat for him bc he works hard and honestly I'm sick of cooking, so its a nice break for us all.

Answer 9

Why is your husband having a hen night??? Wouldn't that be a bachelor party? And well he's not really your "husband" yet now is he? One more....are you really asking us if you should let your husband to be screw a prostitute or two?? For real?? Oh and just in case your spell check was I don't know turned off or broken it is wear and says not wair and sais.

Answer 10

Your husband is right. He works hard and deserves to have a meal out once a week. Now, you don't have to go out to a resteraunt that costs that much but you can compromise.

Eating out doesn't have to be unhealthy.
There are plenty of resteraunts that serve food that IS heathy and you can choose for yourself and your kids what they will eat.

You do not have to eat things that are gross and unhealthy.

If I were in your shoes I'd be thankful that my husband wasn't going out every week to pick up hookers because for that price he could be doing something without you.

I am not trying to be offensive. I just can't belive that someone would complain about their husband spending money on them and their kids.

People in Ethiopia are starving to death.