why would anybody do this to their child...?

Question

My mother & I are very close, or so I thought. We also both struggle with depression & always knew if we ever were having problems to just call the other day or night & talk it through. I tell my mother everything b/c she's my best friend. Well lately she's been "hinting" about thinking of suicide & I got worried & although I know its wrong I went into her email knowing her journal is there & read it to see if she was planning it. Instead I found out that everything I told her in private she was telling her friends online & even making up things about me that weren't true! Saying I was a bad mother to my kids & then in her journal wrote that I'm the reason for her depression in the first place & that me calling her to talk to her about my problems triggers her depression & makes her "not look forward to life". She's never said anything like this to my face & I feel so betrayed. I never had a father & felt my mother was all I had & now this. Why would a mother do and say those things?

Answer 1

If your mother is depressed enough to consider suicide then she is not "in her right mind" now. Depression is an illness with physical causes as well as psychological ones. She is suffering from a chemical imbalance in her brain, so it is not functioning properly. Try to take into consideration that your mother is sick, if she were healthy, she would never behave in this manner.
Your mother needs professional care. In most states, if a family member is a danger to themselves or others, like threatening suicide, you can have them committed for a period of 30 days to be evaluated and treated. Your mother will be very angry with you at first, but in the long run, when she is feeling better, she will know that you made your decision out of love.

Answer 2

There could be many reasons, but I am thinking she is probably saying you are those things because she is convinced that SHE is those things. It is also possible that she has enough trouble handling her own depression andd feels overwhelmed by yours. The only way to get any straight answer is to ask her. You will have to fess up to reading her journal, and even though your reason for doing so was coming from a good place, she may be angry with you for it. I don't think your mom did this out of malice, and I don't think she ever really intended for you to know. It might also be a good idea to seek counseling for the both of you, though I would stick with separate sessions at first. Maybe as time goes on you can have a session with a therapist to work ot your issues together, but I think the two of you need to deal with your separate issues first before you can work on your issues together. Good luck

Answer 3

OMG! you and I are in the same exact situation. All my life, my mother has done those things to me. I always kept it in and finally I knew that I just had to call her out on it.

I would suggest talking to her (don't roll your eyes) lol.
Don't just come out saying that you read everything and now you wanna kill her. haha just come out and kinda "beat around the bush a little. When I did it with my mother, I started out the conversation by saying, "I'm so glad that I have you in my life, and I know what a burden I must be pawning off all my problems onto you mom. . ." then you hear the response from you mother. Now with my mom, I knew she was lying. She didn't look me straight in the eyes and she started trying to look for something to do. I don't know if you can tell if your mom is lying but look for those things I just mentioned.

Anyway. . .after you hear her response, then what I did was I said something like "so, me talking to you isn't a problem? Because I would never want to make you upset mom. I really like talking to you, but lately you've seemed really depressed yourself, and I wanted to make sure it wasn't something I caused." and then if she still beats around it and isn't talking to you for real, then just tell your mom (like i told my mom lol) that I ran into someone and they told me what she had said. Then that should get the ball rolling.

If you keep this going, she will always do that to you. My mom finally got the picture that I wasn't putting up with her bad mouthing about me to my friends (including my damn fiance!!!) and family all that kind of stuff. Good luck, I really hope that you find the power and wisdom to deal with what you're going through. Just really think about what you want to say and then go for it. You just have to find the strength, and that can be hard.

Answer 4

I wish i knew the answer to that..... my mother is the same way. I mean, instead of an online journal its lies that she tells the rest of the family...but i get what you mean. I think both of our moms have some serious psychological issues. I ended up having to break off all ties with my mom, every couple months she will call and start another fight with me....but i had to cut her out of my life to stay sane for me family. All you can do is see her mistakes and vow never to do the same thing to your children.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Your mother is very sick. Unfortuneately unless she attacks her sickness physically (med, exercise, diet and supplements), emotionally (psychologist), mentally (by educationg herself) and spiritually (by seeking deliverance through Jesus Christ) she will probably remain sick.

I am speaking through experience. Just know that she needs to take responsibility for her actions and words. You are NOT the cause of her depression. Since you also suffer from depression, you need to be proactive, too. Don't trust in meds. Trust in Jesus Christ. He is faithful and just.

I pray you will be delivered from this Spirit of Depression that hangs over your family.

Answer 6

It sounds like she needs some serious Psychological help.

I'm not saying this to be mean.