I'm a guy. Fell in love, it faded, g/f was psycho, now I highly avoid relationships & love! Cure/Thoughts?

Question

I'm a guy. Me & my g/f fell in love. Both REALLY REALLY deeply. 9 mos later, in the end, I realized I had wasted a lot of time when I could've been single! It DIDN'T seem that way at first, but let me explain. FYI, she was my 1st g/f, 1st sex, 1st lot of things, and i had never 'planned' on a relationship at that point in my life. I really DID love her tho.

1st, i realized that deep down, she could not be my long-term mate or g/f or wife. Too many problems and personality conflicts. 2nd, maybe she realized the same in me b/c our breakup was 'mutual' we said. At this point I feel a little off track with this love stuff, cuz as I said, I had 'planned' on being single the whole time.

A few weeks pass. I call her just to see how things are going, and she goes psycho on me, acting like a major bioch, calling me names, etc. That's when I start to feel like WOW not only did I miss out on being single, but she's got major problems too (in ADDITION to what I already knew about). ct'd...

So I feel that I wasted that time I devoted to her. And I have AVOIDED relationships, love, etc. ever since. 4 years. Cure???

While together, her strong emotions are what really kept me motivated to make the relationship work. And then when it ended, i was like WOW she seem so sure of us, and now she doesn't really care? (don't get me wrong, I didn't quite want the relationship either but it was nice having her want me). By relationship I mean I wanted to date HER + others, not be committed.

Her actions made me avoid relationships. Thinking I'll meet someone who'll sucker me in w/their emotions for me... and not be about it in the end. (i know it may sound confusing, but I didn't wanna be w/her myself.)

Response to #1: Why yes, crazy chicks ARE good in bed.

Hope you responders read this:
1st, I was not CALLING her nonstop. it was only friendly calling every couple weeks to see what's been going on. She already had a new b/f soon after me. She WAS NOT hurting. She was happy to breakup. So was I. that's the confusing part. she CLAIMED to strongly to want to be w/me. THEN she switched one day and it didn't matter any more, and i suppose we were both tired of each other. While, I ALWAYS knew exactly what I wanted. Love was okay, being single was okay too. But she was highly emotional about the whole thing. i let myself get caught in her emotions.

My question/problem is this: I feel like that was a major mistake, the whole love/relationship thing. But, part of me does want a relationship, but i always lean toward staying 'single for life' cuz i'd hate to deal w/an emotional wreck/rollercoaster girl like her.

Wow this got long.

Answer 1

Get over yourself. You demoted her from lover and gf to a date and you expect her to be nice to you. Are you so self centered that you can't see that the girl is hurting. You are so worried about YOUR time that was wasted that you forgot that SHE wasted her time on you too. Get over yourself and move on. She is lucky to be rid of you.

Answer 2

i think sometimes its on the person whom should change a lot lad

read this:
1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love,

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift

of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I

have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the

flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it

is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily

angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always

hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;

where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is

knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in

part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I

was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned

like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now

we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to

face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully

known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of

these is love.

Answer 3

If you say you want to be single. Why are you still calling her. Get on with your single life. But instead you seem to missing her like hell and hence you are calling her. You cant have your cake and eat it too.

Answer 4

Here is the story about u
http://www.americanwomensuck.com
Story is written not by me, but by some guys in USA, who once left the country.

Answer 5

next time make them your friend first and lover last.. that way you will get to know the person

Answer 6

Why don't you just fix your picker. Stop picking the wrong types.