Ok so, my friend met this guy in college and all three of us and sometimes some of our other friends, all hang out together. My friend told me that he said to her that he likes me, But he wouldn't want to go out with my because of the way I dress (which is kinda offbeat and eccentric). Anyway, he's always nice to me, But for the past few weeks we've been emailing eachother back and forth but it's been mostly sexual talk or sexual innuendos. I'm 19 & I've never had a boyfriend or been ona date or anything. So, I'm kind of new to all of this. I would like to find someone who really respects me but in this day and age, It's really hard to find someone you can really trust. Do you think he's just looking for something physical or does he want something more and this is just how he starts out? Maybe this is all to make fun of me somehow? Just hoping for some good answers. Thanks!
2007-08-27 19:04:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I forgot to add that he did give me his cell number and we've hung out a few times and he's said that he always finds me funny.
2007-08-27 19:15:04 · update #1
I can feel where you are coming from to a degree here. He said he would date you if you did not dress so funny. I sounds to me that he may be a little superficial when it comes to who he wants as a girlfriend. The way a woman dresses is her style it is much a part of you as your nose is. The idea of liking someone yet limiting yourself do dating them or not based upon how they dress is wrong. That means he want to change something about you. Perhaps not as pad as who you are as a person but he wants to change you into what he thinks will look better on you. The thing is, is that women in today’s world can find a man that respects them, for who they are the fact that you are 19 and never had a boyfriend is not all your problem. One may be where you are looking for the guy. If he is chatting with you and saying sexual things to you on line he does find you attractive, I would say. The thing is, is it just going to be physical? The only way to answer that question is to hang out with him some and do not allow the topics to get into the sexual area much. Talk about what he does on his off time, what he enjoys as in hobbies and so on. See if you think you could be compatible with him. See how he treats you around other people, if he introduces you to his friends and so on. That should give you a better understanding of him and what he wants. If he starts getting to physical you just need to ask him to calm down. That you like him but you want to know he likes you. Him willing to have sex with you does not mean he likes you. It means he is a guy and you are nice to look at nothing more. That’s why I say you need to step back and go at things carefully, openly and honestly. You very well could find out that he does like you and is just unsure about himself. I hope he or anyone would not do that to a make fun of someone else. Best of luck to you sweet heart. =)
2007-08-27 19:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like such a sweet girl. I would say that 9 times out of 10 he is just looking for something physical. Though some innuendos are normal, it shouldn't be your entire conversation. If he has a genuine interest in you he should be wanting to hear all about you, your likes and dislikes, family, what goofy quirks you may have. You can test him to satisfy your own curiosity. Next time you are chatting with him, steer it off of a sexual topic and on to something more general. If he shoves it off and tries to get back on the the "sex talk" track then you know for sure. Then make sure to tell him that that is not what you are looking for. Then you go find you someone who loves you for you and who doesn't give a damn about the way you dress! I don't care how offbeat you dress.. you find the right guy and he will find the way you dress completely adorable. Good luck hun, Reese :)
2007-08-28 02:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by reeseycup04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just email him and tell him that if he is looking for a strictly sexual realtionship, he is talking to the wrong girl. If you are not good enough to go out with because of the way you dress, then you certainly should not be letting him speak to you that way. What would he want to do, hide you in the closet, and never let anyone see you? If he really cared about you, he would not care about how you dressed. He would respect you, and not talk to you like that.
2007-08-28 02:14:29 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend getting out there and just having a good time. You need to start somewhere and why not start here. This could be the beginning of a relationship, or it could just be physical. Either way your bound to have a good time. So, try it out, you may find that simply physical could be fun.
BUT
Don't change the way you dress or who you are for anyone or anything. If he doesn't want what you are then he doesn't get you and doesn't deserve you.
Hoped this male perspective on the issue helped
2007-08-28 02:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by jlebowski245 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys will always jump at the opportunity to get physical to the oppo sex. We r guys... It is alrite to have sexual conversations. But be careful of what it mght lead to. Alwyas ask yourself whether u will regret anything that u gona do. Dun make decisions hastily n regret them. You are still young and have lots of things coming yr way in yr lfe. Probably bcos he is the 1st guy that is so close to u. You shld try to contact him more, know more abt each other. Let him know wat u wana get out f this r/s. Find out more abt him thru ur frens. If u jus wana have fun den jus be careful. If u wana have a decent r/s with him, do it cautiously. Good luck and al the best!
2007-08-28 04:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by monokye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would say take your time with everything if you do plan to go through with anything. because if he is just wanting to get physical then i don't see why he would stick around if you make him wait very long. although its your call do what you want but if you worry all the time your just gonna get upset and lose out on a lot of things and you'll be to busy with the past and the future to have time for the present and life will begin to pass you by. so slow down and have a look around enjoy life and no worries. it might work it might not but i think thats a judgement you have to make.
2007-08-28 02:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by pan_clock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that you want someone who respects you. Only you can set your standards. If sexual talk is disrespectful to you, then avoid those topics and see how he responds.
Don't get sucked into the lie that everybody "does it". Plus, you have the power to say "NO". You have more control than you think. You make the rules girlfriend. You set the standards. I sure hope their high.
Good luck.
2007-08-28 02:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by ellen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like & love are two different things. A guy can like a girl even without loving her. If he just talk to you about sex and didn't bother to try and know you better during the corresponding, then most likely he is just going for physical.
2007-08-28 02:17:34 · answer #8 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All he wants is sex, sorry to say, but if there was anything else then he would first off tell you how he felt, not leave it up to a third party, then he would also email you about other things of interest like your background, your life other than sexual comments.
2007-08-28 02:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by nagotim2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just looking for something physical, if you can't talk about the things you are really interested in, then this is just going to lead to you getting hurt and you can do better than that :)
2007-08-28 02:08:22 · answer #10 · answered by sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋